emi- 
nthly. 


T^T 


iis  of 


Every  Number 
Complete. 


O  3? 


NULLIFICATION    IN    1832-33. 


!  NOTES'  TEN-CENT  SERIAL.  \ 

No.  II.  ( 


NEW    YORK: 
JAMES    O'.    NOYES,    PUBLISHEK, 

25     HOWARD     STREET. 


1860. 


TJie  Trade  supplied  by  the  Wholesale  News  Agents. 

-~~f      ,-f,       ,,        v<      ^.       / ^      ^. ^^S^2_ 


WHEELER  &  WiLBON'S 

SEWING  MACHINES, 

WITH  IMPORTANT  IMPROVEMENTS,  AT  GREATLY  REDUCED  PRICES. 


These  great  Economizers  of  Time,  and  Preservers  of  Health, 

Have  won  the  highest  premiums  at 
the  Fair  of  the  United  Agricultural 
Society;  at  the  State  Fairs  of  Maine, 
Vermont,  Connecticut,  New  York, 
New  Jersey,  Pennsylvania,  Virginia, 
Mississippi,  Missouri,  Ohio,  Indiana, 
Illinois,  Kentucky,  Michigan,  Wiscon- 
sin, California,  and  at  the  Fairs  of  the 
American  Institute,  New  York;  Me- 
chanics' Association,  Boston ;  Franklin 
Institute,  Philadelphia;  Mechanics' 
Institute,  Baltimore ;  Metropolitan 
Mechanics' Institute,  Washington ;  Me- 
chanics' Association,  Cincinnati ;  Ken- 
tucky Institute, Louisville;  Mechanical 

Association,  St.  Louis ;  Mechanics'  Institute,  San  Francisco ;  and  at 

hundreds  of  County  Fairs. 

OFFICE,   5O5   BROADWAY,   N.  Y. 

The  Lock  Stitch  made  by  this  Machine  is  the  only  stitch  that  can  not 
be  raveled,  and  that  presents  the  same  appearance  each  side  of  the 
Beam.  It  is  made  with  two  threads,  one  upon  each  side  of  the  fabric, 
and  interlocked  in  the  center  of  it. 

ECONOMY   OF   SEWING   MACHINES. 

The  "Wheeler  &  "Wilson  Sewing  Machine  Company  has  prepared 
Tables,  showing,  by  actual  experiment  of  four  different  workers,  the 
time  required  to  stitch  each  part  of  a  garment  by  hand,  and  with  their 
Sewing  Machine.  The  superiority  of  the  work  done  by  the  Machine, 
and  the  healthfulness  of  the  employment,  are  advantages  quite  as  great 
as  the  saving  of  time.  Subjoined  is  a  summary  of  several  of  the  tables  : 


BY  MACHINE. 


Gent's  Shirts. 
Frock  Coats . 
Satin  Vests. 
Linen  "  . 
(^loth  Pants. 
Summer  "  . 
Silk  Dresa . . 
Merino  Dress 


16 
38 
14 

48 
5L 
38 
13 
4 


HY  HAND. 

'/•.«.  Miit's. 
14    26 
16    35 

J1V  MACIIIN 
//Y*.  Mill 

Calico  Dress..  .      57 
Chemise  1      1 

7     19 
5    14 
5    10 
2    50 

Moreen  Skirt.  .       35 
Muslin       "    .  .       30 
Night  Dress.  .  .  1      7 
Drawers  28 

10    22 

8    27   - 

Silk  Apron  15 
Plain     "    9 

6 

10 
7 
G 

10 
5 
4 
1 


37 

31 

28 

1 

2 

6 

16 
26 


Seams  of  any  considerable  length  are  stitched,  ordinarily,  at 
the  rate  of  a  yard  a  minute. 


MEMOIRS  OF  A  WULLIFIEB. 


WITH    A    HISTOEIOAL    SKETCH    OF 
NULLIFICATION   IN    1832-33. 


WITH    AN    ILLUSTRATION, 


NEW    YORK: 

JAMES     0.    NOTES,    PUBLISHER, 

25     HOWARD     STREET. 
1860. 


NOTES'    -SERIALS. 


8DW   tt&lt 


No.   I— T  HE      FOUR      GEORGES. 

Sketches  of  Manners,  Morals,  Court  and  Town  Life. 
BY  WK  It    THACKERAY. 

No.  II.— MEMOIRS  OF  A  NULLIFIER. 

An  Inimitable  Burlesque  on  Yankeedom.    With  a  HISTORICAL  SKETCH 
OP  NULLIFICATION  in  1832  and  1833. 

No.   III.— A    YANKEE    AMONG    THE 
NULLIFIERS. 

A  Cutting   Satire  on  Secession. 


Every  Number  complete.  Price,  paper  covers,  10  cents;  ename'ed 
boards,  25  cents.  Mailed,  postage  free,  on  receipt  of  the  price. 

The  object  of  the  Serials  is  to  furnish,  semi-monthly,  in  a  cheap  and 
popular  form,  Original  Stories,  Sketches,  &c.,  with  the  best  productions 
of  current  literature.  Published  on  the  10th  and  25th  of  each  montb- 

JAMES  0.  NOYES,  25  Howard-st,  N.  Y. 


Entered,  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1860,  by 

JAMES    O.    NOYES, 

In  the  Clerk's  Office  of  the  District  Court  of  the  United  States  for  the  Southern 
I> itforict  of  New  York. 


PUBLISHER'S    PREFACE. 


THE  author  of  these  Memoirs — a  famous  book  in 
the  days  of  South  Carolina  Nullification — endeavored 
to  set  forth  the  praise  of  the  "  universal"  Yankee  na- 
tion, a  theme  so  lofty  that  it  "  had  until  then  remained 
unattempted  in  prose  or  rhyme  (except  by  them- 
selves)." 

Along  with  the  real  personages,  such  as  his  Satanic 
Majesty,  Henry  Clay,  Daniel  Webster,  Tristram  Bur- 
gess, John  C.  Calhoun,  etc.,  he  has  introduced  a 
couple  of  constant  lovers.  The  politician  will  do 
well  not  to  omit  the  poetical  and  pathetic  passages, 
before  he  begins  with  the  hero's  adventures  in  Pande- 
monium. It  is  not  too  much  to  say  that  this  satirical 
volume,  and  the  witty  "  counterblast"  it  evoked — "A 
YANKEE  AMONG  THE  NULLIFIERS" — will  give  the 
reader  a  better  idea  of  the  excited  period  of  our 
history  to  which  they  refer,  than  can  be  obtained  in 
more  elaborate  works.  To  make  them  apph'cable  to 
the  present  time,  he  has  but  to  read  "  Secession"  for 
"  Nullification,"  and  bear  in  mind  that  the  South  Caro- 
linians had  then  about  the  same  antipathy  to  home 

2212295 


IV  PUBLISHER  S   PREFACE. 

products  protected  by  the -tariff,  that  the  people  of 
the  South  now  manifest  to  articles  manufactured  in 
the  Northern  States.  The  "irrepressible  conflict"  of 
that  day  related  to  the  tariff,  but  was  quite  as  vio- 
lent as  at  present.  The  careful  reader  will  easily 
distinguish  the  famous  characters  introduced  whose 
names  are  not  given. 

The  writer  of  the  Historical  Sketch  of  Nullification 
is  indebted  for  his  facts  mainly  to  Parton's  excellent 
"Life    of   General   Jackson,"   and  Benton's   "Thirty 
.Years  in  the  Senate." 

NEW  YOKK,  Nov.  27,  1860. 


MEMOIRS    OF    A    NULLIFIED, 


INTRODUCTORY   CHAPTER. 

AFTER  a  long  and  wonderful  career,  I  find  that  my  life  is 
drawing  to  its  close.  Justice  to  myself  and  to  mankind  re- 
quires that  I  should  not  quit  the  world  without  leaving  be- 
hind me  some  account  of  my  remarkable  adventures.  I, 
therefore,  write  this  memoir ;  but  will  endeavor  to  abridge  it 
as  much  as  possible. 

I  was  born  in  one  of  the  Southern  States,  and  passed  my 
early  years  in  a  remote  district,  where  the  face  of  the  country 
was  wild,  and  the  manner  of  the  inhabitants  primitive.  I 
grew  up.  therefore,  with  scarcely  any  other  knowledge  of  man- 
kind than  such  as  I  gathered  from  the  pages  of  history,  ro- 
mance, and  poetry.  Nature  gave  me  much  imagination,  little 
judgment,  an  ardent  temper,  and  a  credulous  heart.  These 
are  qualities  which  Solitude,  the  nurse  of  enthusiasm,  tends 
to  heighten,  so  that  my  character  became,  to  the  last  degree, 
romantic  and  visionary.  My  delight  was  to  gaze  upon  the 
loveliness  of  the  inanimate  world  around  me  :  to  sit  by  the 
side  of  a  waterfall,  listening  to  its  ceaseless  music;  or  to 
wander  beneath  the  shade  of  some  primeval  forest,  and  in- 
dulge in  the  wildest  dreams  that  imagination  could  inspire- 
Of  social  institutions  and  of  human  nature  I  knew  nothing, 
and  fancy  pictured  them  to  me  in  her  gayest  and  most  unreal 
hues.  To  my  young  belief,  every  human  creature  was  my 
friend,  every  pretty  woman  an  angel,  and  all  earth  one 
paradise. 

My  parents  died  when  I  had  reached  the  age  of  twenty.  In 
the  dawn  of  manhood,  possessed  of  a  classical  education  and 


6  MEMOIES    OF    A    NULLIFIES. 

a  handsome  person,  inheriting  from  my  ancestors  an  abund- 
ant estate  and  an  honorable  name,  my  destiny  certainly 
promised  to  be  fortunate.  With  a  gay  heart,  therefore,  and  a 
sanguine  spirit.  I  entered  upon  the  theater  of  the  world. 

The  first  thing  I  did  was  to  fall  most  desperately  in  love 
with  Miss  Cynthia  Angelina  Simpson.  She  was  a  bewitching 
creature,  just  seventeen  years  old.  She  had  soft  blue  eyes, 
and  auburn  hair,  and  vermiel  cheeks,  and  a  marble  forehead, 
and  ruby  lips,  and  a  melodious  voice,  and  a  form- that  was  ab- 
solutely divine.  I  courted  her,  and  in  due  course  of  time  she 
returned  my  affection  in  the  most  flattering  manner.  It  would 
have  done  any  one's  heart  good  to  hear  the  protestations  of  ever- 
lasting fidelity  with  which  we  continually  entertained  each 
other.  I  went  to  see  her  about  every  third  hour,  besides  which 
several  times  a  day  we  exchanged  a  letter,  to  the  last  degree 
lengthy  and  passionate.  Such  wonderful  love  has  been  seldom 
seen  in  these  modern  days.  It  was  decided  that  we  should  be 
married  in  the  fall. 

Having  arranged  this  matter  to  my  satisfaction,  I  next  pro- 
ceeded to  devise  schemes  for  increasing  my  estate.  <:  I  am  rich 
already,"  thought  I,  "but,  for  my  Cynthia's  dear  sake,  I  will 
make  myself  still  richer."  The  question  was.  how  it  should  be 
done.  I  went  to  the  chief  merchant  of  the  place,  who  for 
several  years  had  been  carrying  on  a  nourishing  trade  in  the 
various  wares  and  fabrics  which  New  England  manufactures 
so  much  cheaper  than  Britain  and  France:  not  to  mention 
Peruvian  bark,  Irish  linen,  indigo,  cigars,  nutmegs,  etc.,  all  of 
them  the  pure  growth  of  the  happy  soil  of  Connecticut.  At 
that  time  my  opinion  of  the  New  England  character  had  been 
derived,  not  from  personal  knowledge,  but  from  their  own 
veracious  histories.  Having  read  about  Putnam,  and  Warren, 
and  Timothy  Dwight,  and  the  Pilgrim  Fathers,  I  suspected 
not,  but  that  their  descendants  were  equally  meritorious.  Mr. 
Increase  Hooker,  too,  possessed  so  saint-like  a  countenance. 
ihat  it  would  have  been  almost  impious  to  suppose  anything 
unholy  lurked  beneath  it.  I  told  him  that  I  had  some  unem- 
ployed money  which  it  would  suit  me  to  invest  in  any  profitable 
manner.  He  took  me  into  his  most  secret  apartment.  "My  dear 
r-ii-,"  said  he,  "  you  are  come  at  a  fortunate  moment.  For  some 


MEilOIRS    OF    A   NULLIFIES.  7 

time  I  have  had  a  plan  by  which  an  immense  fortune  can  soon  be 
made,  but  have  hitherto  been  unable  to  carry  it  into  execution 
for  want  of  a  little  additional  capital.  I  have  invented  a  fry- 
ing-pan, upon  a  new  and  wonderful  principle.  The  mechan- 
ism is  such  that  the  slices  of  bacon,  when  exactly  half  done, 
turn  themselves  over  on  the  other  side  simultaneously.  I  have 
taken  out  a  patent  for  it.  and  call  it  ;  Hooker's  Patent  Self- 
animated  Philanthropic  Frying-Pan.'  We  will  set  up  a  manu- 
factory of  them,  which  will  operate,  not  less  to  our  own  per- 
sonal emolument,  than  to  the  general  advantage  of  mankind. 
t  calculate  that  in  about  three  years  their  use  will  become 
universal  over  the  globe,  increasing  greatly  the  comfort  of 
polished  nations,  and  extending  the  benefits  of  civilization  and 
refinement  into  regions  upon  which  their  light  never  before 
dawned.  An  advance  of  820,000  on  your*  part  will  be  suffi- 
cient. There  is  not  another  man  in  the  State  whom  I  would 
allow  to  participate  with  me  in  such  a  money-making  con- 
cern." Mr.  Hooker  possessed  a  wonderful  character  for  cun- 
ning and  piety,  and  the  scheme  seemed  to  me  plausible.  "  Every- 
body." thought  I,  "  is  fond  of  bacon  and  eggs,  so  that  the  thing 
can  not  fail  to  succeed."  I  produced  the  S20.000  (about  that 
sum  having  been  left  me  in  cash  by  my  father),  and  the  manu- 
facturing operations  commenced. 

I  next  proceeded  to  build  a  fine  house,  and  to  sell  my  large 
plantation,  in  order  that  I  might  buy  another,  the  situation  of 
which  I  liked  better.  This  business  I  intrusted  to  Mr.  Peleg 
Phipps,  a  Yankee  lawyer  of  great  skill  in  drawing  deeds  and 
seeing  far  into  people's  characters.  He  soon  effected  a  sale  at 
S60.090,  and  I  directed  him  to  make  out  the  deeds  and  receive 
the  money. 

My  most  intimate  friend  was  John  Ramsay  ;  we  had  been 
almost  raised  together,  and  were  sworn  brothers.  He  came 
one  morning  and  requested  me  to  become  his  security  for 
812,000.  "There  is  no  risk  whatever,"  said  he;  "I  am 
going  into  a  speculation  by  which  I  will  make  three  times  as 
much  in  three  months.  '  Although  I  doubted  for  a  moment, 
my  heart  rejected  the  unworthy  thought.  "  Is  not  Ramsay 
my  dearest  friend?"  considered  I,  "and  shall  I  hesitate 
to  make  a  fortune  for  him,  when  only  my  assistance,  is 


8  MEM  OIKS    OF   A   NULLIFIEK. 

necessary  to  accomplish  it  ?"  Thus  reasoning,  I  signed  the 
papers  ? 

Nothins  was  now  wanting  to  me  but  political  consequence. 
I  resolved,  therefore,  to  offer  for  the  Legislature.  My  friends 
assured  me  that  I  would  be  elected,  and  I  myself  entertained 
not  a  doubt. 

These  different  matters,  of  course,  occupied  a  considerable 
time,  and  my  wedding  day  had  now  nearly  arrived.  How  well 
do  I  remember  Tuesday,  the  13th  of  October.  18 — ,  a  day  into 
which  so  many  important  events  were  crowded  !  I  arose  and 
dressed  myself  for  the  first  time  in  my  new  house,  which  was 
just  finished.  I  was  conscious  that  morning  of  an  extraordi- 
nary elation  of  the  spirit.  I  strutted  around  the  room,  singing 
my  favorite  song  of  John  Anderson  my  Joe.  "  Doubtless," 
said  I,  "  I  am  the  most  fortunate  person  living.  Everything 
flourishes  with  me.  Here's  my  new  house,  built  upon  the  true 
Grecian  model ;  the  like  is  not  to  be  seen  in  the  whole  country. 
Then,  my  manufactory  of  frying-pans  will  soon  be  in  opera- 
tion at  an  immense  profit ;  the  sale  of  them  will  commence 
next  week,  ten  thousand  having  been  made  to  supply  the  im- 
mediate demand.  The  election,  too,  comes  on  to-day,  and  be- 
fore sunset,  in  my  person  will  be  centered  the  majesty  of  the 
sovereign  people.  I  will  take  the  lead  in  the  Legislature, 
and  my  name,  as  the  second  founder  of  sound  constitutional 
principles,  will  become  famous  on  the  pages  of  my  country's 
history.  And  then,  again,  what  luck  it  was  to  sell  that  old 
old  plantation  of  my  father's,  with  its  broomstraw  fields 
and  red  gullies,  for  $60,000,  these  hard  times,  and  to  get 
the  money  paid  down  on  the  nail  !  And,  moreover,  I  cer- 
tainly have  the  firmest  and  cleverest  friend  in  the  world. 
What  is  there  upon  earth  that  John  Ramsay  would  not  do  or 
risk  for  me  ?  And  then,  to  crown  all,  in  three  days  I  am  to 
be  married  to  an  angelic  girl,  whom  I  adore,  and  who  adores 
me  !  But  lovely  as  you  are,  my  Cynthia."  continued  I,  in  a 
pleasing  apostrophe;  "possessed  as  you  are  of  all  beauty  un- 
der heaven,  even  your  transcendant  charms  of  person  weigh 
little  in  my  estimation  compared  with  the  qualities  of  your 
mind  and  heart.  It  is  on  account  of  your  matchless  virtues 
that  I  so  deeply  love  you ;  particularly  the  pure,  devoted,  and 


MEMOIRS    OF    A    NTJIXIFIER.  9 

disinterested  affection  with  which  you  regard  me  ;  an  affec- 
tion which  I  know  will  remain  forever  the  same,  even  should 
it  be  tried  by  any  possible  length  of  time  or  changes  of  for- 
tune !  Thus,  lucky  in  my  speculations,  successful  in  ambi- 
tion, and  blessed  in  friendship  and  in  love,  what  have  I  upon 
earth  to  wish  for  more?"  I  thus  spoke  in  the  vanity  of  my 
heart,  as  I  reflected  on  the  prosperous  state  of  my  affairs. 

Early  in  the  day  the  election  came  on ;  I  made  a  speech 
thirty  or  forty  minutes  long,  which  I  had  composed  according 
to  the  rules  of  Cicero,  very  much  to  my  own  satisfaction.  My 

opponent  was  Colonel ,  an  old  electioneerer.     He  spoke 

three  hours  and  a  half — vowed  that  if  he  were  elected  every 
man  in  the  district  should  have  a  gold  mine  on  his  land  and  a 
railroad  by  his  door,  and  that  constables  and  sheriffs  should  be 
totally  abolished.  The  consequence  was.  that,  upon  counting 
the  votes,  I  was  seven  hundred  behind. 

O  nmy  way  from  the  court-house  I  passed  by  the  store  of 
my  friend  and  partner,  Mr.  Hooker.  On  approaching  it  I  per- 
ceived a  crowd  gathered  within,  and  heard  the  voice  of  an 
auctioneer.  Mr.  Hooker,  it  seemed,  had  disappeared,  and  his 
property  was  then  being  sold  for  his  debts.  A  few  thousands 
of  the  patent  frying-pans  formed  the  most  conspicuous  article. 
They  were  sold  for  next  to  nothing,  amid  the  ridicule  of  the  as- 
sembly, who  declared  themselves  resolved  to  stick  to  the  real 
good  old  frying-pan  of  their  forefathers.  My  320.000  was  gone  ! 

This  was  rather  unpleasant,  to  be  sure  ;  but  I  cared  no  great 
deal  about  it,  while  I  had  sixty  thousand  dollars  in  cash  left. 
"  Howeter."  thought  I,  t:  I  may  as  well  go  to  Mr.  Phipps  and 
take  that  money  into  my  own  possession.  It  is  perfectly  safe  in 
his  hands,  no  doubt,  but  there's  no  use  in  trusting  a  man  too 
far."  Thus  thinking,  I  went  to  his  office — but  I  was  too  late. 

Mr.  Phipps,  ten  days  before,  had  left  home,  under  pretense 
of  attending  court  in  another  district :  instead  of  which  he  took 
the  road  to  New  England,  bearing  with  him  my  $60,000, 
and  various  other  smaller  sums  with  which  he  had  been  in- 
trusted. I  was  ruined  without  remedy  !  No  doubt  by  that 
time  Mr.  Phipps  was  safe  in  his  native  land,  receiving  the 
applauses  and  enjoying  the  envy  of  his  countrymen,  for  his 
industry  and  enterprise  in  the  South. 

1* 


10  MEMOIRS    OF    A   NULLIFIER. 

I  confess  that,  at  finding  myself  thus  suddenly  reduced  to 
poverty,  I  was  for  some  moments  almost,  horror-struck.  My 
naturally  hardy  temper  and  sanguine  spirit,  however,  soon 
enabled  me  to  overcome  the  feeling.  If,  was  true,  all  my 
money  was  gone,  and  I  had  no  property  left  but  my  new  house. 
But  I  had  many  friends  ;  I  possessed  youth,  health,  and.  I 
believed,  talent ;  and  the  world  was  before  me,  with  its  various 
mines  of  wealth  and  fields  of  honor.  A  short  effort  restored 
to  me  tolerable  composure. 

I  had  that  morning  directed  a  sumptuous  dinner  to  be  pre- 
pared at  the  tavern,  and  had  invited  my  friends,  in  order  to 
celebrate  the  victory  which  I  doubted  not  I  should  by  that 
time  have  obtained.  I  now  repaired  to  it,  and  endeavored  to 
do  the  honors  as  well  as  if  nothing  had  happened.  The  dinner 
itself,  however,  was  treated  with  much  more  respect  than  I 
was ;  for  my  consequence  seemed  to  be  singularly  diminished 
in  the  last  few  hours,  and  my  friends  took  little  trouble  to 
conceal  their  opinion  of  my  folly  in  being  swindled  out  of  my 
money,  and  my  vanity  in  supposing  that  I  could  be  elected  to 
the  Legislature.  Ample  justice  in  the  mean  time  was  done  to 
the  provisions'  and  the  wine  being  excellent,  several  of  the 
company  at  length  became  riotous  and  quarrelsome.  Among 
the  rest,  my  bosom  friend  John  Ramsay  grew  so  clamorous 
that  I  found  it  necessary  to  interfere.  At  this  John  felt  him- 
self highly  insulted,  seized  a  huge  bone,  threw  it  at  my  head, 
and  knocked  out  my  right  eye. 

A  surgeon  who  was  present  half  dressed  the  wound,  and  I 
went  home.  When  I  arrived  there,  I  found  my  house  and 
furniture  in  the  possession  of  the  sheriff.  During  my  absence 
they  had  been  seized  to  pay  the  debt  for  which  I  was  security 
for  John  Ramsay.  I  was  told  to  find  another  lodging. 

I  turned  my  steps  toward  the  dwelling  of  my  Cynthia,  and 
calmed  myself  by  the  assurance  that  not  fate  itself  could 
deprive  me  of  her  love.  <:  What  matters  it,"  thought  I,  "  while 
Cynthia  is  still  mine,  for  the  loss  of  wealth,  friends,  and  fame  ? 
These  are  things  which  are  the  sport  of  chance  and  fortune. 
Nothing  on  earth  is  constant,  except  woman's  love.  Even 
though  deprived  of  all  else,  in  your  constant  smiles,  my  Cyn- 
thia, in  your  unalterable  devotion,  I  will  find  abundant  con- 


ME1IOIRS    OF    A    NULLIFIER.  11 

solation.  In  your  faithful  arms  I  will  take  refuge  from  the 
storms  of  misfortune,  and  still  think  myself  supremely  blest. 
Perhaps  Heaven  has  thus  afflicted  me,  only  to  enable  you 
more  completely  to  prove  the  purity  of  your  love."  As  these 
reflections  passed  through  my  mind,  a  note  was  put  into  my 
hand :  it  was  neatly  folded,  and  written  in  a  beautiful  Italian 
hand,  to  this  effect : 

•'  Fate  has  decided  that  we  must  part.  Take  my  last  adieu, 
and  spare  my  sensibility  the  pain  of  seeing  you  more. 

"  CYNTHIA  ANGELINA  SIMPSON." 

Heavens!  was  this  possible?  Everything  else  I  had  borne 
as  became  a  man.  Without  a  sigh  I  had  seen  my  projects  of 
ambition  overturned ;  I  had  supported  the  cold-hearted  perfidy 
of  my  friend  :  for  the  loss  of  my  property  I  had  scorned  to 
grieve.  These  things  were  but  trifles,  in  my  estimation,  while 
I  had  a  treasure  remaining  which  I  believed  was  a  thousand 
times  worth  them  all.  But  that,  also,  was  now  gone.  She 
whom  I  had  so  fondly  worshiped,  as  the  personification  of  all 
loveliness  and  all  truth — she  for  whom  I  would,  at  any  mo- 
ment, have  accounted  it  too  much  happiness  to  die — she  to 
whose  love  I  looked  for  consolation  for  the  loss  of  wealth,  the 
treachery  of  friendship,  and  the  wrongs  of  fortune — she,  too. 
had  betrayed  and  forsaken  me  ! 

This  was  more  than  my  soul  could  endure.  I  wandered,  in 
the  obscurity  of  the  night.  I  knew  not  whither.  Rage  and 
despair  had  taken  possession  of  my  heart.  I  threw  myself 
upon  the  bare  earth,  and  poured  forth  bitter  imprecations 
against  Heaven.  Cynthia,  myself,  and  all  mankind.  ':  What 
a  pity,"  exclaimed  I.  at  length.  "  that  there's  no  such  thing, 
in  these  times,  as  selling  one's  self  to  the  devil  !  If  Old  Nick 
could  now  appear,  he  might  certainly  get  my  soul  cheap." 


12  MEMOIRS    OF    A    NULLIFIES. 


CHAPTER   II. 

"  WHAT  will  you  take  for  it  ?"  said  a  low,  strange,  airy 
voice  close  to  my  side. 

There  fell  upon  me  a  deep  terror — the  mysterious,  undefin--^ 
able  sensation  of  shuddering  and  dread  by  which  the  senses 
of  a  mortal  confess  the  approach  or  the  presence  of  a  being 
from  the  unknown  world.  My  hair  stood  upright  and  cold 
drops  gathered  upon  my  forehead,  while  a  curdling  thrill  ran 
through  my  veins  and  seized  upon  my  heart.  In  undescrib- 
able  awe  and  fear  I  gazed  around. 

First  I  perceived  two  wild  eyes,  of  most  terrible  intenseness, 
that  had  fixed  their  keen  beams  upon  me.  Near  them  I  could 
discern  features  of  supernatural  size — a  gloomy  brow,  cheeks 
furrowed  with  care  and  scarred  by  violence,  and  a  lip  of  min- 
gled pride  and  malice.  Around  them,  and  over  the  high  pale 
forehead  clustered  long  disordered  ringlets  of  shining  black 
hair,  that  deepened,  with  its  snaky  curls,  the  strange  shadows 
of  the  countenance. 

The  night  was  of  pitchy  darkness,  and  I  was  able  to  see 
thus  much  only  by  means  of  a  dull  glow  of  wavering  light, 
which  the  object  itself  shed  immediately  around  it.  The 
whole  countenance  beamed  with  an  undescribable  and  almost 
unimaginable  aspect  of  mingled  majesty  and  hideousness. 
The  face  seemed  at  one  moment  radiant  with  divine  intellect, 
and  then  swiftly  clouded  by  the  darkest  passions.  The  creat- 
ure appeared  to  be  nothing  less  than  a  mighty  spirit,  fallen 
from  some  lofty  station  of  glory  and  of  bliss,  as  he  stood  before 
me  in  the  gloomy  grandeur  of  supernal  power  and  beauty 
degraded  and  obscured. 

"What  will  you  take  for  your  soul?"  said  he.  "I  will 
give  you  a  good  price.  I  am  master  of  the  treasures  of  air.  of 
earth,  and  of  sea,  and  rule  all  that  they  contain.  Speak  your 
demand,  and  it  shall  be  granted.  Do  you  desire  to  be  supreme 
in  power — or  unbounded  in  riches — or  transcendent  in  know- 
ledge— or  happy  in  love — or  victorious  in  war  ?" 

Thus  far,  my  eyes  had  been  so  completely  fascinated  by  the 


MEMOIKS    OF    A    NULL7FIKK.  13 

gleaming  visage  of  the  spirit,  that  I  had  not  turned  them  to 
the  rest  of  his  person.  By  this  time,  however,  my  terror 
having  become  somewhat  mitigated,  and  my  senses  more  com- 
posed j  the  light,  too.  having  grown  stronger  as  he  had  ap- 
proached closer  to  me  in  speaking,  I  was  able  to  view  him 
more  distinctly. 

I  now  perceived  a  singular  and  ludicrous  incongruity  be- 
tween the  upper  part  of  his  figure  and  the  rest.  The  body 
was  large  and  corpulent,  and  the  legs  diminutive,  like  those 
of  an  old  gourmand.  He  had  on  a  blue  coat,  fair  topped 
boots,  and  a  pair  of  greasy  corduroy  breeches,  through  a  hole 
in  the  hind  part  of  which  emerged  a  long  black  tail,  that 
dangled  and  curled  about,  as  he  spoke.  Upon  the  borders  of 
his  jaws  grew  a  pair  of  most  tremendous  whiskers,  blackened 
with  smoke  and  singed  by  fire,  that  hung  down  almost  to  his 
•waist. 

When  this  horrid  thing  first  appeared,  I  knew  not  but  that 
Heaven,  which  I  had  so  lately  almost  blasphemed,  had  de- 
livered me  into  the  power  of  some  avenging  fiend  •  and  the 
despair,  with  which  I  was  then  possessed,  had  been  banished 
at  once  by  the  extremes!  terror.  The  latter  feeling  had  been 
gradually  mitigated  by  the  behavior  of  the  personage  himself, 
whoever  he  might  be :  and  now,  as  I  discovered,  by  the  sight 
of  his  vulgar  and  ludicrous  attitudes,  that  he  was  nothing 
more  than  Old  Nick,  my  relief  was  infinite.  I  plucked  up 
courage,  and  resolved  to  show  the  enemy  and  deceiver  of  man- 
kind that  I  was  not  afraid  of  him. 

"  What  will  you  take  for  your  soul  ?"  said  the  demon,  the 
third  time. 

';  You  old  rascal,"  said  I,  "  do  you  suppose  I  have  no  more 
sense  than  to  sell  my  soul  to  you  ?" 

"Why.  as  I  happened  accidentally  to  be  passing  by,  just 
now.  did  not  I  hear  you  offer  to  do  so  ?" 

"  I  was  not  in  earnest.     I  still  trust  in  Providence." 

"  Trust  in  Providence,"  said  the  demon,  "  ha7  ha,  ha  ! — this 
is  a  pretty  specimen  of  human  folly.  Here's  a  fellow  with 
his  money  all  gone,  his  mistress  faithless,  his  friends  treach- 
erous, his  eye  knocked  out,  himself  ruined  and  undone  and 
deceived  in  every  manner  possible,  and  he  still  talks  about  his 


14  MEMOIRS    OF    A    NULLIFIES. 

trust  in  Providence  !  Trust  to  me,  and  you  shall  be  better 
treated.  I  will  reward  you  with  more  than  your  youthful 
fancy  ever  wished  for.  in  its  wildest  dreams." 

"  You  need  not  expect  to  catch  me."  said  I,  £:  I  know  who 
Vou  are." 

''  It  is  unaccountable,"  said  the  demon,  in  a  mortified  tone, 
"  how  I  should  have  got  so-  bad  a  character,  when  I  have 
always  been  so  honest  iu  my  dealings.  No  one  can  say  that  1 
ever  failed  to  fulfill  my  contracts.  To  be  sure,  all  my  bargains 
have  a  condition  to  them,  and,  when  that  is  violated,  I  am 
somewhat  exact  in  claiming  the  forfeit;  but  I  never  take  more 
than  is  fairly  my  own.  I  will  now.  sir,  make  you  a  very 
liberal  proposal,  and  it  will  be  your  own  fault  if  it  do  not. 
prove  of  advantage  to  you.  I  will  give  you  as  much  money, 
or  anything  else,  as  you  desire,  merely  on  condition  that  you 
sign  a  paper  binding  yourself  never  to  be  married." 

This  was  a  tempting  offer.  Where  could  be  the  least  harm 
in  my  accepting  it  ?  To  be  sure,  it  was  not  to  be  doubted  but 
that  the  demon,  notwithstanding  his  fair  talk,  designed  some- 
thing evil  ;  but  it  was  evident  I  would  expose  myself  to  no  risk 
whatever.  Not  marry  !  Why,  after  my  recent  experience, 
that  was  an  act  of  folly  to  which  I  was  certain  that  nothing 
in  mortal  shape  could  possibly  beguile  me.  As  to  the  morality 
of  the  thing,  I  could  see  no  objection  to  take  the  demon's 
money,  so  that  I  made  a  good  use  of  it  afterward.  Indeed, 
for  that  matter,  would  not  the  act  be  actually  commendable, 
as  drawing  from  the  infernal  coffers,  and  applying  to  salutary 
purposes,  funds  which  otherwise  would  undoubtedly  be  made 
the  means  of  accomplishing  much  evil  ?  Considering,  there- 
fore, that  I  might  derive  great  benefit  from  the  bargain,  with- 
out subjecting  myself  to  the  slightest  possible  danger,  I  resolved 
to  accept  the  proposal. 

Having  come  to  this  determination,  the  bargain  was  soon 
concluded.  The  demon,  using  an  inkhorn  which  he  always 
carries  tied  to  a  button-hole,  drew  up  a  bond,  to  which  I  put 
my  name.  I  was  to  be  furnished  with  as  much  money  as  I 
might  demand,  and  my  eye  was  to  be  cured,  upon  condition 
that  I  should  not  get  married.  If.  at  the  end  of  thirty  years.  I 
was  found  with  a  wife,  my  soul  was  to  be  forfeited.  The 


MEMOIRS    OF    A    NULLIFIEK.  15 

demon  instantly  healed  my  eye  :  then,  stamping  upon  the  earth. 
a  subordinate  spirit  appeared  at  his  signal.  "  Kalouf."  said 
he,  ';  attend  upon  this  gentleman  ;  supply  him  with  as  much 
gold  as  he  asks  for,  and  execute  all  his  orders."  The  demon, 
then,  thrusting  the  bond  into  one  of  his  immense  coat  pockets, 
both  of  which  were  stuffed  full  of  papers,  and  bowing  courte- 
ously to  me,  disappeared.  I  directed  Kalouf  to  assume  a 
human  form,  as  my  servant,  and,  followed  by  him,  returned 
into  the  town. 


CHAPTER   III. 

HERE  was  I,  at  once  in  possession  of  exhaustless  wealth  and 
supernatural  power  !  I  had  acquired  it  all,  too,  upon  the 
cheapest  terms  possible — upon  the  easy  condition  of  never 
marrying  !  an  act  to  which,  so  far  from  having  the  least  in- 
clination, scarcely  the  whole  earth  could  have  bribed  me. 
Thus  the  circumstances  under  which  I  was  about  to  commence 
a  second  career  in  the  world  were  even  more  favorable  than 
those  which  had  at  first  attended  me.  It  was  true  that  some 
of  the  brightest  of  my  youthful  dreams  had  been  dispelled, 
and  passing,  as  is  the  wont  of  enthusiasts,  from  one  extreme  to 
its  opposite,  I  now  had  little  faith  in  the  honesty  of  man,  and 
none  at  all  in  the  constancy  of  woman.  Although  the  earth, 
therefore,  no  longer  shone  to  my  eyes  with  the  freshness  of  its 
virgin  beauty,  yet  still  it  presented  enough,  either  to  woo  to 
pleasure  or  excite  to  ambition.  For  I  was  still  in  rny  one-and- 
twentieth  summer;  1  had  at  my  command  boundless  riches, 
and  a  portion  of  the  power  of  the  invisible  world,  and  mine 
was  a  temper  which  regarded  nothing  as  impossible.  Where 
was  the  path  of  enjoyment  which  I  might  not  hope  to  tread,  or 
the  height  of  power  or  fame  which  I  might  not  aspire  to 
ascend  ? 

Attended  by  Kalouf,  I  removed  to  the  city,  and  resolved 
that  I  would  fully  explore  the  gay  world,  and  satiate  myself 
with  its  pleasures,  before  setting  about  my  more  serious  pur- 


16  MEMOIRS    OF    A   NULLIFIES. 

poses.  The  splendor  of  my  appearance,  and  the  reputation  of 
vast  wealth  which  I  soon  acquired,  rendered  me  exceedingly 
conspicuous.  For  some  months  I  devoted  myself  chiefly  to 
the  pursuit  of  amusement,  and  filled  a  space  in  the  eyes  of  the 
fine  world  sufficient  to  have  satisfied  any  ordinary  vanity. 
During  this  time  various  adventures  occurred  to  me.  some  of 
which  were  rendered  very  curious  by  the  maneuvers  of  my 
diabolical  attendant.  To  relate  them,  however,  would  require 
more  time  from  me.  and  probably  more  patience  from  my 
readers,  than  either  can  bestow.  Passing  them  over,  there- 
fore, I  will  proceed  to  those  incidents  which  had  a  more  im- 
mediate effect  in  determining  my  destiny. 

My  early  habits  had  rendered  me  exceedingly  fond  of  hunt- 
ing, and  I  devoted  much  of  my  leisure  to  it.  On  one  occasion, 
while  I  was  on  a  distant  expedition,  a  deer  of  extraordinary 
size  and  beauty  suddenly  appeared  before  me.  His  enormous 
antlers,  with  little  less  than  twenty  branches  upon  each, 
showed  him  to  be  such  a  patriarch  of  the  woods  as  I  had 
scarcely  ever  heard  of.  even  in  the  traditions  of  the  oldest 
hunters.  Through  the  whole  live-long  day  did  I  and  my 
staunch  dogs  follow  him.  encouraged  by  frequent  glimpses, 
though  he  would  never  allow  me  to  get  quite  near  enough  for 
my  gun  to  take  effect.  At  length,  when  the  sun  had  nearly 
set,  my  perseverance  seemed  about  to  be  rewarded.  The  deer 
stood,  less  than  thirty  years  off.  with  his  broad  side  turned 
fairly  to  rne.  I  raised  my  good  rifle,  that  had  never  failed  me. 
even  at  three  times  the  distance,  took  exact  aim,  and  fired. 
The  result  was  amazing  and  unaccountable.  At  the  report  of 
my  gun  the  deer  vanished  !  He  was  nowhere  to  be  seen, 
either  dead  or  alive  ! 

Astonished,  wearied,  and  disappointed,  I  stood  for  some 
minutes  pondering  on  this  strange  occurrence.  In  the  ardor 
of  the  pursuit,  I  had  wandered  far  from  any  tract  with  which 
I  was  acquainted.  Upon  looking  around,  however,  I  was 
almost  consoled  for  my  vexatious  adventure  by  the  beauty  of 
the  scene  into  which  it  had  led  me.  I  must  indulge  myself  in 
the  luxury  of  describing  it. 

It  was  a  secluded  valley,  surrounded  by  stupendous  moun- 
tains. On  one  side  they  rose  in  vast  and  irregular  precipices, 


MEMOIRS    OF    A   N  ULLIFIER.  17 

in  the  fissures  of  which  clung  the  lauref  and  the  ivy.  supplying 
the  place  of  all  other  verdure  with  their  deep  and  changeless 
•ireen.  *In  other  directions,  their  swelling  shapes  were  reared 
gradually  upward,  and  threw  into  the  sky  a  more  soft  and 
distant  outline :  their  b-road  and  slanting  sides  clothed  to  the 
summits  by  the  varied  growth  of  the  Southern  forests,  the 
foliage  of  which,  just  breathed  on  by  the  coming  autumn,  dis- 
played such  gorgeous  tints  and  mellow  shades  as  Claude  or 
Salvator  might  have  in  vain  attempted  to  rival  with  their 
divinest  hues.  Numerous  brooks,  falling  in  cataracts  from 
the  hills  around,  formed  by  their  mingled  and  sparkling  waters 
a  stream  which  wandered  along  the  plain,  and  then  murmured 
away  through  an  opening  to  the  west.  Numberless  and  name- 
less wild-flowers  bloomed  around,  and  seemed  to  droop  their 
heads  over  its  banks,  as  if  to  gaze,  with  something  like  human 
vanity,  upon  their  images  reflected  in  the  glassy  wave  beneath. 
Gigantic  trees  of  many  species  grew  thickly  around,  and  spread 
above  a  canopy  through  which  only  a  few  wandering  beams 
of  the  noon-day  sun  could  penetrate.  Never  in  classic  Greece 
or  Italy  did  nymph  of  the  stream  or  of  the  forest  lave  her 
limbs  in  more  crystal  waters,  or  roam  through  a  more  lovely* 
and  secure  retreat.  But  that  which  in  my  eyes  gave  to  the 
scene  its  most  peculiar  charm,  was  the  aspect  of  utter  stillness 
and  wildness  which  it  wore,  and  the  total  absence  of  anything 
to  indicate  that  it  had  ever  before  been  approached  by  man. 
It  seemed  as  if  it  lay  before  me  undisturbed  since  the  day  of 
its  creation — that  mine  was  the  first  step  which  had  ever  trod 
its  silent  ulades  and  sacred  depths,  and  mine  the  first  eye  that 
had  ever  gazed  on  its  virgin  solitude. 

I  seated  myself  on  the  trunk  of  a  fallen  tree,  and  had  re- 
mained for  some  time  absorbed  in  contemplation  of  the  objects 
around  me.  when  suddenly,  on  the  opposite  side  of  the  narrow 
stream,  I  beheld  a  young  lady  beautiful  beyond  imagination. 
She  was  walking  on  the  bank,  as  if  intending  to  cross  it.  This, 
in  the  ordinary  state  of  the  water,  would  have  been  perfectly 
easy,  but  it  happened  to  be  now  swollen  above  its  usual  heisht. 
and  rushed  along  with  some  depth  and  violence.  Neverthe- 
less, there  were  so  many  fragments  of  rock  strewed  through 
the  channel,  and  but  little  apart  from  each  other,  that  it 


18  MEMOIRS    OF   A    NULLIFIEK, 

required  only  a  slight  exertion  to  pass  over  them.  At  least  so 
seemed  to  think  the  mountain  nymph,  for  with  a  li«ht  step 
and  a  careless  air  she  began  to  spring  across.  The  tops  of  the 
rocks,  lately  bathed  by  the  flood,  afforded  an  insecure  footing, 
and  betrayed  one  of  her  steps  !  She  fell  into  the  rapid  current, 
and  was  swept  down  to  the  deep  water  below.  For  me  to 
plunge  in  and  bear  her  to  the  shore,  required  but  an  instant. 

The  beautiful  lady,  not  having  been  rendered  insensible  by 
the  water,  soon  recovered  from  the  terror  of  the  accident,  and 
poured  forth  her  gratitude  to  me.  in  the  most  ardent  language. 
I,  too,  thanked  the  providence  which  had  made  me  the  instru- 
ment of  saving  so  much  loveliness  from  an  early  grave.  Her 
name,  she  told  me,  was  Laura  Douglas.  Her  father's  house, 
to  which  I  accompanied  her.  was  not  far  distant,  the  forest 
having  previously  hidden  it  from  my  view.  I  remained  there 
for  some  time,  delighted  with  the  kindness  and  learning  of  the 
father  and  the  beauty  and  intelligence  of  the  daughter. 

One   day  Laura  asked  me  for  some  verses  to  put  into  her 
book.     I  retired,  and  summoned  Kalouf:    "Kalouf,"  said  I, 
"  I  have  promised  a  young  lady  some  poetry :    I  am  a  poor 
lhand  at  making  verses ;  you  must  do  it  for  me." 

"  Sir,"  replied  he,  "  you  have  called  on  me  at  a  fortunate 
moment :  I  happen  to  have  now  in  my  pocket  an  ode  which  I 
lately  made  to  rny  sweetheart  down  in  Pandemonium,  to  whom 
I  am  to  be  married  shortly  :  I  will  transfer  it  to  you." 

"  What  !"  said  I,  "  do  the  people  there  get  married  ?  I 
thought  they  were  miserable  enough  without  that." 

"  Certainly,  being  of  the  same  sexes  as  on  earth,  they  must 
either  marry  or  do  worse.  But,  as  they  never  die.  it  would  be 
too  great  a  hardship  to  make  them  live  together  forever:  the 
law  therefore  is.  that  they  may  separate,  at  the  end  of  a 
thousand  years,  if  they  should  have  become  tired  of  one  another 
in  that  short  period.*  I  am  quite  a  young  demon,  and  have 


*  A  bill,  said  to  have  been  written  by  Lady  Mary  Wortley  Montague,  was 
offered  and  debated  in  the  British  Parliament,  decreeing  that  mnrriages  should 
continue  no  longer  than  seven  years:  unless,  at  each  return  of  that  period, 
the  parties  desired  to  renew  them.  Her  ladyship  must  have  borrowed  the 
idea  from  this  law  of  the  infernal  regions,  though  I  know  not  how  she  came  by 
the  knowledge  of  it  —THE  AUTHOR. 


MEMOIRS    OF    A   NULLIFIES.  19 

been  married  only  five  times.  These  verses,  with  some  slight 
alteration.  I  suppose  will  suit  your  purpose,  as  they  have  been 
much  admired  in  Pandemonium,  and  have  procured  me  a  con- 
siderable reputation  among  the  wits  there.  Here  they  are . 

TO'HOKEEGOLFA. 

My  brimstone  bride,  my  black  arch-fiend, 

Thy  diabolical  charms  I  adore  ; 
Thou  loveliest  of  all  the  powers  malign 

That  ever  yet  cross'd  the  deep  Styx's  shore  ! 

Of  all  the  myriads  of  fiendish  maids, 

Who  people  the  sulphurous  depths  infernal, 

And  roam  through  its  dark  and  dismal  shades, 
Thou  art,  I  will  swear  it,  the  greatest  belle. 

Already,  my  love.  I've  laid  in  a  supply 

Of  various  things  that  house-keeping  requires, 

And  soon  we  at  cooking  our  skill  will  try 
On  Tariffites,  murderers,  thieves,  and  liars. 

On  some  fresh  and  newly-caught  sinner  each  day 
How  sweetly  and  comfortably  we  will  dine, 

From  his  bones  tear  the  quivering  flesh  away, 
And  quaff  the  red  streaming  blood  for  wine  ! 

Our  table  shall  groan  with  fierce  Georgians  in  squads. 
And  South  Carolinians  a  few  times  a  year, 

And  also  Virginians,  food  worthy  of  gods — 
But  never  a  Yankee  shall  there  appear. 

For  Yankees,  though  once  considered  dainty, 

And  thought  to  be  nice  and  savory  meat, 
Have  now  become  too  deuced ly  plenty, 

For  even  the  vulgarest  demon  to  eat. 
In  pleasures  exceeding  what  verse  can  relate, 

In  love  and  in  bliss  forever  we'll  live  on, 
And  people  the  growing  infernal  estate 

With  many  a  little  he  and  she  demon  ! 

;:  You  impudent  rascal,"  exclaimed  I.  "to  suppose  that  this 
would  suit  for  Miss  Douglas.     Go  to  work,  and  see  whether 


20  MEMOIRS    OF    A    NULLIFIED. 

you  can't  give  me  something  with  less  fire  and  brimstone  in  it, 
and  rather  more  in  the  style  of  this  earth." 

Kalouf  retired  into  a  corner,  and  in  about  an  hour  returned 
with  the  following  : 

TO  LAURA. 

Sweet  Laura  !  if  thou  wilt  be  mine, 

I'll  ever  thy  adorer  prove, 
And  worship  at  thy  beauty's  shrine 

With  pure  and  everlasting  love. 

Since  first  on  me  thy  beauty  beam'd. 

Thou  reignest,  on  my  memory's  throne  ; 
Of  thee  alone  I've  thought  and  dreamed, 

My  heart  hath  beat  for  thee  alone  ! 

Stern  Fate  will  spare  not  even  thee, 
And  Time  with  rapid  wing  moves  on  ; 

Then  give,  fair  maid,  thy  charms  to  me, 
Ere  life's  young  loveliness  be  gone. 

And  then  to  some  sweet  summer  isle, 

Or  blooming  solitude,  we'll  go, 
Where  Nature  wears  a  ceaseless  smile, 

And  wind»  of  winter  never  blow — 

Where  suns  are  bright,  and  skies  are  blue, 
And  gushing  fountains  pure  and  clear, 

And  flowers  of  never-fading  hue 
With  languid  fragrance  fill  the  air. 

Far  from  the  cold,  the  proud,  the  vain, 
Who  fill  the  world's  tumultuous  scene, 

Exempt  from  vulgar  care  and  pain, 
Our  days  shall  glide  away  serene. 

The  rest  forgot  of  human  race, 

Nor  heeding  else  beneath  the  sky, 
Each  to  the  other  shall  the  place 

Of  parents,  kindred,  friends,  supply. 

Oh  joy,  all  other  joys  above  ! 

To  share  thy  every  smile  and  sigh — 
Possess  thy  first  and  latest  love — 

And  with  thee  live,  find  with  thee  die! 


MEATOIKS    OF    A    NULLIFIES.  21 

"  This  will  not  do  yet.  Kalouf,"  said  I.  :-  it  is  now  on  the 
other  extreme,  and  is  too  sentimental :  see  whether  you  can't 
strike  out  something  between  the  two."  Kalouf  now  seemed 
to  go  to  work  still  harder,  and  in  three  hours  produced  the  fol- 
lowing : 

TO   LAURA. 

Thine  eyes  do  not  the  sun  eclipse ; 

Thy  breast  no  mountain  snow  discloses  ; 
Nor  are  thy  red  and  dewy  lips 

Made  out  of  rubies,  or  of  roses. 

Thy  brow  is  not  the  full-orbed  moon ; 

Thy  voice  is  not  the  zephyr's  sigh ; 
Thy  smile  is  not  the  blaze  of  noon, 

Illumining  the  earth  and  sky. 

Thy  form  is  not  composed  of  dreams, 

Such  as  wild  Fancy  oft  displays, 
Compounded  of  the  sun's  bright  beams, 

Or  woven  of  the  moon's  pale  rays. 

But,  Laura,  thou  art  lovelier  far, 
When  on  thy  breathing  form  I  gaze, 

Than  if  thou  wert  the  brightest  star. 
That  ever  yet  in  heaven  did  blaze. 

Girls  who  are  formed  of  dreams  and  flowers, 

Such  as  the  idle  poet  fancies, 
Walk  not  upon  this  earth  of  ours, 

But  only  glitter  in  romances. 

would  not  give  one  smile  of  thine. 
Or  slightest  touch  of  thy  soft  hand, 
For  all  the  shapes,  bright  and  divine. 
That  fill  the  realms  of  fairy-land. 

Thy  charms,  thank  Heaven,  are  true  and  real, 

And  therefore  is  it  I  adore  thee ; 
Ten  thousand  goddesses  ideal 

Would  all  to  nothing  fade  before  thee. 

"  This  is  rather  better.  Kalouf,"  said  I ;  "  you  have  stolen  a 
little  of  it,  but  I  suppose  it  will  have  to  do." 


22  MEMOIRS    OP    A    XULLIFIER. 

Two  or  three  days  afterward.  Kalouf  came  to  me  and 
asked  leave  of  absence  for  a  short  time,  in  order  that  he  might 
go  down  to  the  infernal  regions  and  get  married — inviting  me  at 
the  same  time  to  go  with  him  to  the  wedding,  which  he  assured 
me  would  be  very  splendid,  as  he  was  to  espouse  the  daughter 
of  a  proud  and  rich  family.  This  was  rather  a  startling  prop- 
osition. Kalouf,  however,  pledging  himself  to  take  care  of 
me.  and  to  bring  me  back  again  in  safety,  my  curiosity  in- 
duced me  to  agree  to  it,  and  we  set  off  for  Pandemonium. 


CHAPTER   IV. 

THE  entrance  to  the  infernal  regions,  I  found,  is  through  a  very 
large  cave  in  Kentucky.  That  is  to  say,  the  one  appropriated  to 
the  United  States  :  for  each  considerable  district  of  the  earth  has 
belonging  to  it,  a  separate  road,  for  the  convenience  of  its  own 
citizens  alone.  This  cave  was  formed  of  a  multitude  of  dif- 
ferent passages,  which,  after  turning  and  twisting  about  in  a 
most  labyrinthine  manner,  for  twenty  or  thirty  miles,  at  length 
all  met  together  and  became  one  exceedingly  broad  and  well- 
trodden  road.  It  was  brilliantly  illuminated  with  gas,  and  no 
turnpike  or  railway  was  ever  half  so  smooth.  Kalouf  and  I 
were  traveling  rapidly  down  its  deep  declivity,  having  already 
proceeded  many  miles,  when  suddenly  we  heard  behind  us  a  pro- 
digious clatter.  It  was  caused  by  the  ghost  of  a  Yankee 
peddler,  who  was  journeying  to  the  other  world,  with  his  cart 
of  tinware  and  other  notions.  The  ghost  soon  overtook  us. 
and  showed  himself  to  be  fully  as  impudent  and  inquisitive 
as  if  he  were  still  alive. 

He  immediately  set  to  work  to  find  out  who  I  was  and  where 
[  came  from. 

"  This  is  sorter  a  slantindickelar  road,  stranger,  by  gauly," 
said  he. 

•;  Yes,  rather  so." 

'•  I  guess,  Mr.,  you've  come  a  long  way?" 

"Not  verv  manv  hundred  miles." 


MEMOIRS    OF   A   NULLIFIEK.  23 

"  I  expect,  may  be.  you're  from  the  North  ?" 

"  No.  I  am  not." 

"  Did  you  come  by  the  Paint  Mountain,  or  over  the  Ohio 
River?"  (to  trace  my  route  by  these  landmarks.) 

"  Neither." 

"  Hogs  and  beef  cattle  sell  tolerble  low  now.  I  guess?"  (to 
ascertain  whether  I  was  a  Western  man.) 

"  I  think  it  quite  probable." 

':  I  suppose.  Mr.,  you've  had  a  good  cotton  crop  this  year ..•'" 

'•  I  understand  that  the  crop  was  abundant  in  Carolina  and 
Georgia." 

•'•  I  reckon,  maybe,  they  raise  tobacco  in  the  parts  you  come 
from?"  (thinking  to  track  me  to  Virginia.) 

"  They  are  fond  of  tobacco  there." 

"  I  guess,  strangers,"  continued  the  Yankee.  •'  you  haven't 
none  of  you  never  been  in  this  country  we're  going  to.  before, 
have  you  ?  I'd  like  to  know  what  kind  of  a  place  'tis  for  tradin' 
down  there.  You  see.  about  two  hours  ago,  old  Mr.  Death  come 
for  me.  He  tuk  me  by  sich  a  surprise  I  hadn't  much  time  to  get 
ready.  But  as  I  was  jistthen  about  startin' out  on  a  peddlin' trip, 
I  thought,  as  I  was  obleeged  to  come  anyhow,  I  might  as  well 
try  if  I  couldn't  make  somethin'  on  the  road.  So  I  gathered 
into  my  cart  some  beads,  and  nutmegs,  and  tin  cups,  and  other 
notions.  I  calculate  I'll  make  a  pretty  tolerble  considerble 
speck  on  what  I've  got  along.  You  don't  know  how  much  a 
piece  tin  cups  fetches  in  these  parts,  does  you  ?" 

I  perceived,  meanwhile,  that  the  Yankee  continually  kept 
his  eyes  down  on  the  road  over  which  we  were  passing,  and 
industriously  and  minutely  examined  the  numerous  marks  on 
its  surface.  I  inquired  the  reason.  "Why."  said  he,  "there's 
old  Nehemiah  Pettibones,  he's  been  owin'  me  a  ninepence  for 
about  eighteen  years.  I  reckon  I've  asked  him  for  that  nine- 
pence  a  thousand  times.  And  do  you  think  the  hateful 
sarpent  didn't  push  off  at  last  without  paying  it?  He  died 
about  two  hours  afore  me.  I'm  lookin'  to  see  if  I  can't  find  his 
track.  He'll  have  to  git  into  a  tarnation  hot  place,  but  what 
I'll  have  that  ninepence  yet.  somehow." 

Traveling  thus  in  company  with  the  Yankee,  at  length  we 
reached  the  River  Styx.  There  was  old  Charon,  with  his 


24  MEMOIRS    OF   A   NL'-LLIFIER. 

boat,  ready  to  take  us  across.  He  demanded  twelve  and  a  half 
cents  from  each  of  us  for  ferriage.  The  Yankee  in  vain  hig- 
gled nearly  half  an  hour,  endeavoring  to  get  him  to  take  a 
ten-cent  piece.  This  point  was  no  sooner  arranged,  than  it 
appeared  that  a  matter  of  much  more  consequence  was  to  be 
settled.  Charon,  who  is  custom-house  officer,  as  well  as 
keeper  of  the  ferry,  seeing  the  peddler's  parcel  of  merchandise, 
proceeded  to  levy  a  heavy  tariff  upon  it ;  which,  by  dint  of 
minimums,  appraisements,  etc.,  was  made  to  amount  to  about 
two  hundred  and  fifty  per  cent.  This  the  Yankee  was  unable 
to  pay;  and  Charon,  declaring  the  goods  forfeited,  directed 
them  to  be  seized  for  the  benefit  of  the  infernal  treasury ;  and, 
driving  the  peddler  into  the  boat,  set  sail  for  the  opposite  shore. 

Never  did  I  behold  so  deep  a  consternation  and  despair  as 
that  manifested  by  the  Yankee,  at  the  unexpected  destruction 
of  his  mercantile  projects.  I  doubt  not  but  that  the  separa- 
tion of  him  and  his  peddling  cart  was  infinitely  more  painful 
than  that  which  had  previously  occurred  between  his  soul  and 
his  body.  He  stood  in  the  hindmost  end  of  the  boat,  with  out- 
stretched arms,  and  piteous  cries,  and  streaming  eyes  riveted 
upon  his  lost  cart,  as  it  remained  on  the  beach,  until  the  thick 
and  pestilential  fog,  which  those  gloomy  waters  continually 
cast  upward,  at  length  hid  it  from  his  sight. 

Meanwhile,  our  boat  glided  slowly  over  the  black,  slug- 
gish stream  which  encircles  the  regions  of  the  damned.  Its 
horrid  waters  were  thickly  peopled  with  huge  snakes,  and 
toads,  and  dragons,  and  crocodiles,  and  every  other  hideous 
monster  which  is  born  of  the  slime  of  a  corrupt  and  putrefy- 
ing flood,  so  numerous  that  we  could  scarcely  force  a  passage 
between  them.  They  glared  upon  us  with  their  fierce  eyes,  and 
eagerly  stretched  their  frightful  jaws  as  we  passed.  Suddenly, 
while  looking  among  them,  the  face  of  the  Yankee  gleamed 
with  a  new  and  intense  delight,  at  sight  of  an  object  which  he 
accidentally  discovered.  It  was  a  large  cooter.*  that  in'cautious- 
ly.  and  in  an  evil  hour  for  itself,  rose  to  the  surface,  only  a  few 
feet  distant.  The  creature,  however,  seemed  instinctively  to 
know  the  enemy  of  its  race.  and.  as  briskly  as  possible,  re- 
i 

*  A  kind  of  snapping  turtle. 


MEMOIRS    OF   A   XfLLIFIER.  25 

treated  toward  the  bottom.  It  was  an  abyss  upon  which  nothing 
living  could  look  without  a  shudder,  and  into  which  it  seemed 
thu  not  even  a  ghost  could  venture  without  destruction.  Never- 
theless, the  Yankee  plunged  in  head-foremost.  At  the  sight 
of  a  native  of  Connecticut  the  monsters,  lately  so  fierce  and 
hungry,  scampered  away  in  all  directions,  tumbling  over  each 
other  in  their  fright.  The  dark  flood  closed  over  the  peddler 
and  concealed  him  for  a  short  time  from  view.  At  length  he 
emerged,  bearing  triumphantly  aloft  the  captive  "  cooler," 
and  regained  the  boat.  Seating  himself  in  the  bottom,  with 
his  back  to  his  fellow-voyagers,  he  took  a  jack-knife  out  of  his 
pocket,  and  fell  busily  to  work.  The  sound  of  much  cutting 
and  scraping  was  heard,  but  his  operations  could  not  be  seen. 
At  the  first  habitation,  however,  that  we  reached  after  cross- 
ing the  river,  the  Yankee  produced  and  offered  for  sale  an  ar- 
ticle which  he  called  "  an  elegant  tortoise-shell  comb."  He 
sold  it  for  a  high  price  to  an  old  woman  who  had  died  of 
love  and  green  apples. 

Proceeding  into  the  interior,  we  soon  reached  the  judgment* 
seat  of  old  RHADAMANTHUS.  where  sentence  is  passed  upon  all 
who  arrive  in  the  infernal  dominions.  The  court  was  sitting, 
and  business  seemed  to  be  carried  on  with  a  dispatch  quite 
unknown  to  earthly  tribunals.  We  heard  one  of  the  constables 
call  out : 

':  VIRGIL  HOSKINS  ! — VIRGIL  HOSKINS  !' 

<;  Here  !"  answered  the  Yankee  peddler,  quaking  up  to  the 
bar. 

RHADAMANTHUS  was  seated  with  a  great  number  of  huge  ac- 
count-books before  him  :  '•'•  VIRGIL  HOSKINS  is  your  name,  is  it?" 
said  he :  "here  it  is,  among  the  H's,  pp.  49,  358  :  ah,  VIRGIL, 
there  is  a  terribly  long  account  against  you.  Let's  see  a  few  of 
the  charges  : 

"  VIRGIL  HOSKINS.  DR. 

"  June  27.  18 — :  To  selling,  in  the  course  of  one  peddling 
expedition.  497.368  wooden  nutmegs.  281.532  Spanish  cigars, 
made  of  oak  leaves,  and  six  hundred  and  forty-seven  wooden 
clocks. 

••  What  do  you  say  to  that  charge.  Hoskins '?" 

HOSKINS:  "Say  to  it?     Why.  that  was  counted,  in  our 


MEMOIRS    OF    A   NULLIFIEK.  26 

place,  abeout   the   greatest   peddliu'  trip  that  ever  was  made 
over  the  Potomac.'"' 

RHADAMANTIIUS  :  "  June  29.  18 —  :  To  stealing  an  old  grind- 
stone, covering  it  with  cotton  cloth,  smearing  it  over  with  but- 
ter, and  selling  it  as  a  cheese/' 

HOSKINS  (in  great  surprise):  "Jimniiny! — you  would  pun- 
ish a  man  1'or  that,  would  ye?" 

RHADAMANTHCS  :  "December  13.  1780  :  To  making  a  coun- 
terfeit dollar  out  of  pewter,  when  you  were  six  years  old,  and 
cheating  your  own  father  with  it." 

HOSKINS  :  "  My  parent  was  real  glad  when  he  found  it  eout : 
he  said  it  showed  I  had  a  genus." 

RHADAMANTHUS  :  "  To  taking  a  worn-out  pair  of  shoes, 
which  you  found  in  the  road,  and  selling  them  to  an  old  lady, 
as  being  the  actual  shoes  of  Saint  Paul." 

HOSKINS  (with  exultation)  :  "  I  made  four  dollars  and  twelve 
and  a  half  cents  by  that  operation  !" 

RHADAMANTHUS:  "  July  2,  18 — :  To  taking  an  empty  old^ 
•watch-case,  putting  a  live  cricket  into  it,  and  then  selling  it  as 
a  patent-lever  in  full  motion." 

HOSKINS  :  "  He  !  he  !  he  ! — wal,  that  was  one  of  the  'cutest 
tricks  I  ever  played  in  all  my  life  !" 

RHADAMANTHUS  :  "  It  would  occupy  me  a  week.  Hoskins,  to 
go  through  all  the  charges  against  you.  I  really  am  getting 
entirely  out  of  patience  with  New  England,  for  it  gives  rne 
more  trouble  than  all  the  rest  of  the  world  put  together.  You 
are  sentenced  to  be  thrown  into  a  lake  of  boiling  molasses, 
where  nearly  all  your  countrymen  already  are.  with  that  same 
old  grindstone  tied  to  your  neck." 

After  the  Yankee  had  been  thus  disposed  of,  there  were  a 
few  other  cases.  Among  the  rest,  an  old  Virginian  was  con- 
demned for  fishing  on  Sunday  ;  a  Kentuckian  for  horse-steal- 
ing :  a  Georgian  for  hard  swearing :  and  a  South  Carolinian 
for  taking  part  with  the  General  Government  against  his  own 
State. 


MEMOIRS   OF   A   NULLIFIES.  27 


CHAPTER  V. 

LEAVING  the  court  of  Rhadamanthus,  we  How  proceeded  on 
our  journey.  Our  destination  was  not  into  the  terrific  interior 
of  Pandemonium,  but  to  one  of  the  provinces  on  its  borders, 
milder  in  climate  and  less  fearful  in  aspect.  To  the  left  hand, 
as  I  passed  along,  stretched  a  vast  ridge  of  mountains  of  im- 
measurable height,  that  seemed  to  have  been  thrown  up  as  a 
barrier  to  that  portion  of  the  infernal  dominions.  Their  sum- 
Irrits  were  entirely  above  my  view.  Their  midway  rocks  were 
bare  and  blackened ;  continual  thunders  rolled  around  them  ; 
and  incessant  flashes  of  the  fiercest  lightning  played  against 
their  blasted  sides.  Deep  caverns  pierced  their  base,  whence 
issued  the  elements  in  their  strength.  Furious  winds  roared 
out  of  some,  while  others  vomited  forth  torrents  of  molten 
minerals,  or  volumes  of  murky  and  sulphurous  flame.  Occa- 
sionally, through  a  few  gaps  in  the  mountain,  I  could  catqh 
slight  glimpses  of  the  region  beyond,  but  it  was  vailed  in  so 
deep  a  gloom  as  to  hide  its  chief  horrors  from  my  sight.  I 
could  dimly  discern  rivers  and  seas  of  liquid  fire,  of  which  the 
ever-boiling  waves  were  tossed  and  uptorn  by  the  strongest 
whirlwinds.  Distant  as  I  was,  it  seemed  to'me  that  the  abyss 
was  thickly  peopled  with  forms  that  flitted  through  it ;  and  1 
heard,  or  fancied  that  I  heard,  their  waitings,  even  above  the 
roar  of  the  warring  elements  around  them.  From  time  to  time, 
as  a  gleam  of  lurid  light  would  flash  through  the  darkness,  a 
volcano  blaze  forth  with  fiercer  fury,  or  the  broad  bosom  of  a 
burning  lake  be  lit  up  with  a  ruddier  glow,  I  would  see  such 
sights  of  horror  and  of  dread  as  far  exceed  all  human  power, 
either  of  imagination  of  description  or  of  belief.  But  they  were 
things  which  may  not  be  named  in  this  upper  world.  Yet  all 
that  I  did  see,  being  merely  upon  the  borders  of  the  scene,  seemed 
to  be  nothing  in  comparison  with  what  raged  beyond  ! 

Turning  farther  from  this  frightful  region,  we  now  entered 
a  country  much  more  earthly  in  its  appearance.  Indeed,  any 
one  who  will  travel  through  certain  portions  of  North  or  South 
Carolina,  in  the  month  of  August,  mav  see  districts  little  less 


28  MEilOIES    OF    A    NULLIFIES. 

hot  and  desolate.  The  sand  was  knee  deep,  the  atmo«i>here 
oppressively  warm,  and  the  earth  parched  and  shadeless. 
The  .traveling,  too,  was  rendered  dangerous  by  the  deep  coal- 
pits which  abounded  in  every  direction.  Springs  and  streams 
of  liquid  sulphur  were  very  numerous,  but  during  my  whole 
journey  in  Pandemonium  I  saw  not  a  single  drop  of  water, 
and  there  appeared  to  be  a  great  scarcity  of  all  other  fluids. 
I  believe  I  may  safely  say,  that  if  there  be  any  vice  from 
which  the  inhabitants  are  free,  it  is  that  of  hard  drinking. 

After  a  journey  of  six  or  eight  hours,  in  the  course  of  which 
we  must  have  traversed  many  hundred  miles,  at  length  we 
reached  the  habitation  of  the  parents  of  the  bride.  Every^ 
thing  about  it  betokened  aristocratic  pride  and  vanity,  and  the 
exalted  notion  which  the  family  entertained  of  their  con- 
sequence and  gentility,  A  numerous  company  of  the  most 
fashionable  personages  in  that  quarter  of  Pandemonium  was 
fast  assembling.  Too  lazy  to  use  their  own  wings,  some  came 
mounted*  on  huge  ravens  or  vultures,  others  trotted  up  on  the 
backs  of  tigers  or  hyenas,  while  the  old  women  came  trooping 
through  the  air  on  broomsticks.  All  things  indicated  that 
a  most  uproarious  frolic  was  about  to  take  place. 

Among  the  various  preparations  which  met  my  eyes,  I  was 
particularly  struck  with  a  sort  of  barbecue  that  was  cook- 
ing iu  the  yard.  <  It  consisted  of  several  dozen  sinners,  fresh 
caught  from  the  upper  world,  who  were  roasting  whole  upon 
spits  before  large  fires,  while  an  abundance  of  red  pepper  was 
sprinkled  over  them.  The  reader  must  understand  that  such 
is  the  nature  of  the  captives  in  Pandemonium,  that  no  punish- 
ment or  process  to  which  they  may  possibly  be  subjected,  can 
ever  put  an  end  to  their  sensation  and  existence.  Thus  the 
operation  of  rbeing  roasted,  .carved,  and  eaten  by  a  number  of 
voracious  demons,  instead  of  destroying  or  diminishing,  greatly 
increases  the  capacity  for  further  suffering.  For.  in  that  case, 
each  separate  particle  becomes  endowed  with  a  distinct  life 
and  a  keener  sensibility  to  pain  :  and  the  portions  which  had 
composed  the  body,  scattered  probably  thousands  of  miles 
apart — a  finger  here,  a  rib  there,  a  slice  of  the  tenderloin 
somewhere  else — are  allowed  no  rest  until  they  search  each 
other  out,  and  re-unite  in  their  former  shape;  a  business 


MEMOIRS    OF    A    XULLIFIER.  29 

•which  can  not  require  less  than  many  centuries  of  crawling  to 
accomplish.  And  it  is  no  sooner  done,  perhaps,  than  another 
crew  of  hungry  demons  catch  the  redintegrated  sinner,  and 
inflict  upon  him  a  repetition  of  the  same  tedious  and  horrid 
process. 

Among  the  unlucky  wights  thus  converted  into  roasters,  I 
perceived  several  whose  faces  I  remembered.  There  was  a 
high  dignitary  of  the  bench,  and  author  of  a  big  book,  upon  a 
spit  made  expressly  to  suit  him,  with  eight  points — a  learned 
South  Carolina  judge,  who  was  in  the  habit,  while  holding 
court,  of  beating  his  own  constables  when  they  attempted  to 
preserve  the  peace — and  an  old  woman  named  William  Smith. 
The  most  conspicuous  personage  of  them  all,  however,  was  a 
little  bald-headed  old  man,  who  seemed  to  be  in  a  constant 
passion.  He  was  incessantly  scolding  the  cooks,  either  for 
turning  the  spit  too  fast,  or  too  slow,  or  for  letting  it  remain 
still.  Nothing  could  please  him.  He  had  once  been,  while 
upon  earth,  somewhat  notorious,  as  a  member  of  Congress 
from  Rhode  Island. » 

Presently  the  black  fiddlers  gave  the  signal  for  the  dancing 
to  begin.  There  were  present  many  beaux  dressed  most 
flarningly,  and  young  ladies  with  garments  even  shorter  than 
the  cuttie-sark.  rendered  so  famous  by  the  Caledonian  poet. 
Then  began  capering,  at  sight  of  which  the  most  agile  French- 
man would  have  bursted  with  envy,  or  hung  himself  in  de- 
spair. The  mirth  and  fun  was  fast  rising  to  a  high  pitch,  and 
I  was  about  to  lead  out  Miss  Hokeegolfa  herself,  when  sud- 
denly an  alarm  was  given,  ':  The  enemy  "are  upon  us — the 
enemy  !  the  enemy  !" 

All  now  was  confusion  and  dismay.  The  demons!,  how- 
ever, instantly  rushed  forth,  and  prepared  for  a  courageous 
defense.  Their  numbers  were  by  no  means  inconsiderable, 
and  at  their  signals  recruits  poured  in  from  all  quarters. 
Having  sallied  out  with  the  rest,  I  saw  an  invading  army  ap- 
proaching, in  hostile  array,  and  in  vast  numbers.  They  were 
armed  with  long  spindles,  and  >a  great  variety  of  patent 
weapons  of  curious  form  and  contrivance.  Among  their 
numerous  leaders,  three  seemed  to  be  pre-eminent.  Of  these, 
the>  one  who  commanded  the  right  wing,  rode  in  its  front, 


30  MEMOIRS   OF   A   NULLIFIER. 

mounted  on  a  large  cow  of  the  real  English  breed,  and  dressed 
in  a  shining  suit  of  new  broadcloth.  As  the  still  pause  oc- 
curred which  precedes  the  crash  of  conflicting  armies,  this 
chieftain  endeavored  to  animate  the  courage  of  his  followers. 

';  Fellow-citizens,"  said  he,  "  of  all  the  discoveries  which 
have  enlightened  or  benefited  our  race,  that  of  Political 
Economy  has  achieved  the  most  wonderful  results.  But 
whatever  credit  may  be  due  to  the  inventors  of  this  sublime 
science,  to  us  belongs  the  far  higher  praise  of  having  estab- 
lished by  it  the  following  incontrovertible  conclusions  : 

"  1.  That  two  and  two  do  not  make  four,  but  something 
else,  1  have  not  yet  exactly  ascertained  what. 

';  2.  That  the  higher  the  tax  upon  articles  of  merchandise, 
the  lower  will  be  the  price  :  and  that  no  limit  can  be  assigned 
to  the  cheapness  thus  to  be  attained. 

•  "  3.  That  the  higher  the  price  of  Northern  manufactures 
the  better  for  us.  as  it  will  make  us  rich. 

"  4.  That  the  lower  the  price  of  cotton,  and  other  Southern 
products,  the  better  for  those  that  raise  them,  as  it  will  force 
them  to  be  economical,  and  economy  is  one  of  the  chief  of  the 
virtues. 

"  All  ihis,"  continued  the  leader  of  the  right  wing.  "  is  proved 
in  that  invaluable  work,  the  Register,  published  by  me  at  $5 
per  annum.  Let  us  establish  the  reign  of  these  grand  prin- 
ciples !  Look  at  me,  my  countrymen  !  Do  you  see  this  new 
coat,  waistcoat.,  and  pantaloons,  of  superfine  bkie  broadcloth  ? 
They  are  a  present  to  me  from  the  Pawtucket  Manufacturing 
Company.  In  the  last  ten  years  I  have  received  in  presents 
2.347  coats.  1,938  waistcoats,  2,551  pairs  of  pantaloons,  1.496 
hats,  and  13,683  pairs  of  shoes,  as  tokens  of  admiration  of  my 
talents,  and  as  a  slight  remuneration  for  my  services  in  raising 
prices  and  manufactories.  Come  on,  then,  my  brave  soldiers  ! 
— calico  shall  soon  sell  for  two  dollars  a  yard,  and  each  of  you 
shall  be  dressed  as  fine  as  I  am  !" 

The  leader  of  the  left  wing  was  mounted  on  a  large  sheep, 
and  he  bore  in  the  one  hand  the  Olive-Brancli.  and  in  the  other 
a  pamphlet,  entitled  the  Rubicon.  He  made  a  speech  in  the 
same  vein  as  that  of  the  other  commander,  and  then  gave  the 
word  for  the  forces  which  he  led  to  move  to  the  charge. 


i 


MEMOIRS   OF   A   NULLIFIES.  31 

They  had  advanced  only  a  few  steps  farther,  when  they 
reached  a  small  rivulet  of  liquid  sulphur.  '•  Ah.  my  friends," 
exclaimed  the  general,  in  the  utmost  dismay,  "  this  must  be 
the  Rubicon — let  us  not  pass  the  Rubicon. ';  So  this  division 
of  the  army  was  brought  to  a  dead  halt. 

Then  came  a  far  mightier  spirit — nobler  in  form,  prouder  in 
bearing,  and  fiercer  and  more  intellectual  in  aspect.  His  eye 
gleamed  with  an  unholy  ambition,  and  his  countenance  was 
obscured  by  dark  passion,  deep  cunning,  and  relentless  hate, 
else  he  seemed  as  if  he  might  have  been  an  angel  of  light. 
He  was  evidently  the  comrnander-in-chief  of  the  whole  host. 
He  rode  upon  a  large  Kentucky  boar,  that  upreared  his 
bristles,  and  scattered  the  foam  from  his  long,  keen  tusks,  as 
his  rider  spurred  him  furiously  about  in  marshaling  the  army. 
His  banner  was  a  piece  of  coarse  hempen  cloth — in  one  hand 
he  bore  a  knife  and  fork ;  in  the  other  a  pack  of  cards.  He, 
too.  prepared  to  speak ;  and  the  whole  army  was  hushed  in  ex- 
pectation, when,  at  that  moment,  a  most  strange  and  uncouth 
figure  rushed  forward — it  was  the  Rhode  Islander,  half  roasted, 
with  the  spit  still  sticking  through  his  body.  During  the  con- 
fusion he  had  not  been  well  watched  by  the  cooks,  and  dis- 
covering that  speechifying  was  going  on,  had  broken  loose, 
determined  to  have  his  share.  All  attempts  to  arrest  him 
were  ineffectual.  He  mounted  upon  an  eminence  which  hap- 
pened to  be  convenient,  and,  with  vehement  tone  and  gesture, 
began:  "Guided  by  reason,  man  has  traveled  through  the 
abstruse  regions  of  the  philosophic  world.  He  has  originated 
"  At  the  awful  sounds  of  his  voice,  the  whole  multi- 
tude, demons  and  spirits  of  all  sorts  and  degrees,  scattered  in 
universal  dismay.  Every  purpose  was  forgotten,  except  that 
of  escape  from  the  horrid  noise.  The  mighty  leader  of  the 
invading  army  himself  was  the  very  first  to  take  to  flight, 
terrified  by  those  tones  which  he  could  not  but  too  well  re- 
member, as  they  had  often  before  afflicted  him.  Kalouf  and 
I,  partaking  in  the  general  panic,  fled  as  swiftly  as  possible, 
and  neither  paused  nor  looked  behind  us,  until  we  found  our- 
selves safe  back  in  the  upper  world. 


32  MEMOIRS    OF    A    NULLIFIEE. 


CHAPTER   VI. 

No  sooner  had  I  returned  to  the  earth  than  I  again  visited 
Mr.  Douglas',  and  remained  there  some  weeks.  Here  the  truth 
soon  burst  upon  me.  that  I  was  again  the  victim  of  love  !  How 
could  it  be  otherwise,  when  I  was  exposed  to  the  fascination 
of  such  transcendent  charms  ?  Before  seeing  Laura  I  had  but  a 
slight  idea  of  the  degree  of  loveliness  which  a  mortal  shape  may 
wear.  In  her  I  beheld  such  as  was  never  dreamed  of.  even  by 
the  great  artists  who  have  embodied  on  canvas  or  in  marble 
the  form  of  incarnate  beauty,  or  the  inspired  poets  who  have 
gazed  upon  her  unvailed  divinity.  Radiant  eyes — marble 
brow — alabaster  neck — ruby  lips — shape  of  perfect  symmetry — 
long  glossy  curls  of  raven  hair  flowing  in  waving  wreaths 
over  ivory  shoulders — cheeks  whose  young  and  verrniel  bloom 
seem  fresher  than  rosebuds  moistened  by  the  dew  of  spring — 
these  are  expressions  that  have  been  often  used,  and,  perhaps, 
sometimes  with  a  semblance  of  truth ;  and  are  things  which 
language  can  half  describe,  and  painting  can  fully  portray 
The  magic  of  her  appearance  was  derived  from  something 
loftier  and  nobler.  It  was  not  merely  that  her  eyes  beamed 
with  a  luster  beside  which  the  diamond's  blaze  would  have 
been  dim,  but  that  in  their  pure  rays  the  divine  spirit  within 
most  divinely  shone — not  that  each  movement  was  perfect 
gracefulness,  but  that  with  all  of  lovely  and  holy  which  the 
enthusiast  can  fancy  in  an  angel,  there  was  mingled  the  warm 
passion  and  tenderness  of  earth.  It  was,  in  short,  that  her 
every  look,  word,  thought,  and  action  was  informed  with  a 
hallowing  soul,  which  seemed  almost  to  shed  around  her  per- 
son a  charmed  atmosphere  and  a  celestial  radiance  ! 

Even  had  I  been  less  sensible  than  I  was  to  the  power  of 
beauty*  here  was  such  as  it  was  impossible  to  resist.  But  what 
madness  was  this  by  which  I  was  overcome  ?  Had  I  forgotten 
the  bond  with  the  demon,  to  which  I  had  subscribed,  and  the 
tremendous  penalty  attached  to  its  violation  ?  Was  I  willing 
to  purchase  a  short  and  fleeting  pleasure  at  the  price  of  ever- 
lasting anguish  !  For  the  brief  possession  of  so  slight  a  thing 


MEMOIRS    OF    A    NULLIFIES.  33 

as  mortal  and  decaying  beauty,  was  I  about  to  subject  myself 
to  an  eternity  of  torment?  These  awful  reflections  could  not 
but  intrude  themselves  upon  me:  but  whatever  sage  reason- 
ings and  resolves  I  might  make  in  Laura's  absence,  they  were 
always  instantly  dispelled  by  the  magic  of  her  presence,  and 
I  resigned  myself  to  the  overpowering  passion  which  it  in- 
spired. 

Yet.  let  not  the  reader  do  me  the  injustice  to  suppose  that 
in  my  decision  I  did  not  duly  weigh  the  consequences.  The 
question  was.  whether  I  should  resign  Laura,  or.  by  marrying 
her,  render  myself,  when  the  thirty  years  should  end.  forfeit 
to  the  demon.  I  did  not  deliberate  long.  The  fear  of  distant 
pain,  we  all  know,  weighs  little  in  the  human  heart  against 
the  temptation  of  present  pleasure.  It  then  seemed  to  me 
that  the  loss  of  Laura  was  the  greatest  of  all  possible  evils, 
and  that  the  possession  of  her  would  be  cheaply  purchased  at 
any  price  whatever.  Would  I  not  enjoy  with  her  a  whole  life- 
time of  supreme  felicity?  Had  it  been  only  an  hour  or  a  day, 
perhaps  I  might  have  pondered  longer;  but  for  thirty  long 
years  !  how  could  I  hesitate?  I  resolved  that  I  would  court 
tier  and  endeavor  to  marry  her  at  all  hazards. 

Having  come  to  this  determination.  I  soon  carried  it  into 
execution.  One  fine  evening  we  had  roamed,  as  was  our  almost 
daily  custom,  into  the  solitude  of  the  neighboring  woods  and 
lingered  on  our  return  rather  later  than  usual.  The  sun  had 
sunk  behind  the  mountains,  and  only  faintly  illuminated  their 
summits,  and  the  crimson  clouds  above  them.  Amid  the  soft- 
ness and  balm  and  still  sanctity  of  the  forest,  nothing  was 
heard  but  the  quivering  of  the  leaves  above  us  as  the  tall 
trees  waved  their  boughs  in  the  autumnal  air.  the  melancholy 
voice  of  the  whip-poor-will,  and  the  gentle  murmuring  of  the 
waters:  while  from  numberless  and  nameless  shrubs  and  wild 
flowers  the  west  wind  shook  the  blossoms,  and  bore  to  us  the 
fragrance. 

It  is  at  the  magic  hour  of  twilight,  when  the  sun  has  just 
set,  and  the  moon  has  just  risen,  and  the  stars  are  beginning 
to  glitter  in  the  sky,  and  everything  looks  calm  and  holy,  that 
nature  is  most  lovely,  and  woman's  heart  is  most  susceptible. 
All  things  around  seemed  to  breathe  the  spirit  of  love,  and  to 

?* 


34  MEMOIRS    OF   A   NULLIFIER. 

inspire  the  feeling,  and  we  both  acknowledged  the  mystic  in- 
fluence. No  hour  or  scene  could  have  been  more  propitious  to 
me,  and  I  failed  not  to  avail  myself  of  it.  I  poured  forth  my 
love  to  Laura  in  the  most  impassioned  language.  I  declared 
that  I  admired  and  valued  her  beyond  all  else  on  earth  or  in 
heaven.  I  pointed  up  to  the  moon  and  to  the  stars,  and  swore 
by  their  solemn  and  sacred  light  that  I  loved  her  better  than 
anything  in  this  world  was  ever  loved  before,  and  that  I  would 
thus  love  her  to  all  eternity.  Why  need  I  repeat  my  wooing  ? 
it  is  enough  that  Laura  consented  to  be  mine. 

I  now  indulged  myself  in  the  most  rapturous  dreams  that 
hope  and  imagination  could  inspire.  That  girl  was  mine 
whom  in  the  fervor  of  my  enthusiastic  admiration  I  firmly  be- 
lieved to  be  unequaled  on  earth,  and  not  excelled  in  heaven. 
It  was  true,  my  prospective  visions  were  limited  to  a  space  of 
somewhat  less  than  thirty  years,  and  I  knew  that  at  the 
expiration  of  that  period  my  felicity  must  come  to  an  end,  and 
be  followed  by  an  awful  retribution.  But  it  seemed  to  me 
that  after  a  lifetime  passed  with  Laura.  I  could  calmly  endure 
anything  that  either  man  or  demon  could  inflict. 

I  remained  with  her  some  days  longer,  more  unable  than 
ever  to  tear  myself  from  her  presence.  I  will  here  give  part 
of  a  conversation  that  occurred  between  us,  not  as  of  itself 
important,  but  because  it  will  be  referred  to  hereafter.  We 
were  sitting  on  the  portico,  late  at  night,  beneath  the  illumined 
heavens,  that  shed  upon  the  silent  earth  their  serenest  light. 
We  gazed  upon  the  glowing  stars,  and  acknowledged  the  lofty 
aspirations,  the  fervent  hope,  which  the  contemplation  of  them 
is  so  fitted  to  inspire — the  feeling  that  we  bear  within  ourselves 
a  spirit  of  which  the  destiny  is  equally  glorious,  and  the  dura- 
tion far  more  eternal. 

"  I  suppose,"  said  Laura,  "  that  you  believe  in  the  existence 
and  immortality  of  the  soul  ?  What  do  you  regard  as  the 
strongest  proofs  ?" 

"  To  me,"  replied  I,  "  the  fact  is  abundantly  clear,  even 
without  resorting  to  revelation  and  philosophical  argument.  I 
*0uld  easily  establish  it  by  logical,  deduction,  but  I  choose  to 
take  a  shorter  method.  Away  with  the  theories  of  the  meta- 
physicians !  The  existence  and  immortality  of  the  soul  are 


MEMOIES    OF    A    XULLIFIEE.  35 

things  which  I  believe,  because  I  feel  them.  The  Creator  him- 
self has  impressed  "a  conviction  of  them  upon  me.  I  am  aware 
of  the  existence  of  my  soul  precisely  as  I  am  of  thai  of  my 
body.  I  perceive  its  action  even  more  palpably  than  that  of 
my  corporeal  frame,  for  the  latter  is  usually  unobserved,  while 
the  former  impresses  upon  me  an  incessant  consciousness.  In 
short,  I  have  the  strongest  proof  possible,  the  direct  evidence 
of  sense.  I  feel  within  me  an  infinite  spirit,  which  acknowl- 
edges noihing  superior  to  itself,  in  capacity  or  duration,  except 
the  omnipotent  Power  who  made  it.  Surely  that  Power 
would  not  deceive  his  creatures  with  vain  hopes  and  ineffectual 
longings — and  can  have  bestowed  upon  me  the  faculties  of  an 
angel  for  nothing  less  than  au  eternal  purpose." 

'•  Some  have  asserted,  however,  that  matter  may  be  so  mod- 
ified as  to  produce  all  the  phenomena  of  mind  ?" 

"  Impossible  !  am  I  to  be  told  that  the  orations  of  Demos- 
thenes, the  philosophy  of  Newton,  the  pictures  of  Raphael,  the 
poetry  of  Milton,  are  nothing  more  than  conceptions  of  brute 
matter  ?  Am  I  to  be  told  that  all  this  passion  and  thought 
which  animate  my  frame — these  transports  of  hope  and  fear, 
and  joy  and  sorrow,  and  hatred  and  despair — these  lofty  aspira- 
tions and  vast  desires — these  dreams  of  the  long-gone  past 
and  the  distant  future — these  wanderings  of  imagination  through 
the  abysses  of  infinitude — are  all  produced  by  the  vibration  of 
a  few  fibers  of'  brain  underneath  the  skull  ?  Am  I  to  believe 
that  pure  affection,  and  incorruptible  honor,  and  heroic  cour- 
age, and  fervent  piety,  and  transcendent  genius  have  given  to 
them  only  a  momentary  existence,  then  to  sink  into  the  same 
grave  with  the  frame*  which  they  informed  with  their  fire,  and 
to  rot  into  the  same  dust?" 

':  But  you  and  I,  my  love,  have  no  occasion  to  discuss  this 
topic,  for  ice  require  no  additional  light  on  the  subject.  Have 
we  not  in  our  bosoms  a  love  for  each  other  which  we  feel  will 
survive  everything  less  durable  than  heaven  and  eternity  ? 
Who  that  had  a  heart,  ever  doubted  that  he  had  a  soul  ?  As 
for  yours,  at  this  moment  do  I  not  see  it  in  your  eyes  ?  do  I 
not  hear  it  in  your  voice  ?  do  I  not  feel  it  in  your  kiss  ?" 

':  I  will  tell  you  my  idea,"  said  Laura  ;  £:  I  believe  that  we 
human  creatures  are  angels  who  in  some  manner  or  (Jther  for- 


36  MEMOIRS    OF    A    XULLIFIER. 

felted  their  native  heaven,  and  have  been  banished  to  a  grosser 
world,  in  order  to  pay  such  penalty  and  endure  such  suffering 
as  shall  render  them  worthy  of  being  restored  to  it.  Does 
there  not  often  corne  to  us  a  half-seen  vision,  a  vague  recollec- 
tion, of  a  former  and  brighter  existence  ?  What  is  it  but  a 
portion  of  the  light  of  our  lost  heaven,  which  still  lingers 
around  us,  and  occasionally  awakens  its  remembrance,  and 
prompts  the  thought  that  it  will  yet  be  regained  ?  I  doubt  not 
but  that  the  numberless  worlds  we  see  around  us  are  the 
abodes  of  human  creatures  and  angels  of  infinitely  varied  de- 
grees of  happiness  and  perfection.  Do  you  see  that  beautiful 
star  yonder,  just  above  the  summit  of  that  tall  tree  ?  I  select 
it  for  my  future  habitation.  You  must  there  seek  me  when 
you  come  to  the  other  world." 

This  conversation,  although  little  regarded  at  that  time,  as 
I  have  said,  is  now  recorded  because  it  happened  to  be  after- 
ward remembered, 

T  returned  to  the  city  in  order  to  settle  some  necessary  affairs 
before  my  marriage,  which  Laura  had  consented  should  soon 
take  place.  Meanwhile  her  image  was  forever  present  to  my 
thoughts,  and  my  heart  was  filled  with  the  most  joyous  antici- 
pations. Little  did  I  dream  how  sadly  they  were  to  be  dis- 
pelled ;  and  that  fate  doomed  me  to  a  disappointment  a  thousand 
times  more  bitter  than  that  which  had  before  befallen  me. 

I  had  been  absent  only  eight  or  ten  days,  when  a  messenger 
from  Mr.  Douglas  informed  me  that  Laura  had  been  suddenly 
taken  ill,  and  was  in  the  greatest  danger.  The  messenger  had 
been  two  days  on  the  road,  the  distance  being 'sixty  or  seventy 
miles.  Had  Kalouf  been  with  me,  I  could  by  his  power  have 
traversed  the  distance  in  a  few  moments,  but  I  had  left  him  in 
the  country.  I  mounted  rny  fleetest  horse,  and  reached  Mr. 
Douglas'  as  soon  as  possible,  but  Laura  had  expired  many 
hours  before  !  and  I  could  do  no  more  than  seek  her  grave, 
and  pour  over  it  tears  of  unutterable  anguish  and  despair. 


MEMOIRS    OF   A   NULLIFIEK.  37 


CHAPTER   VII. 

I  WAS  conducted  to  the  spot  where  Laura  was  interred.  She 
had  chosen  to  be  buried,  not  in  the  crowded  and  monumental 
churchyard,  but  in  the  quiet  solitude  where  I  first  met  and  last 
beheld  her.  There,  in  the  midst  of  the  scenes  which,  when 
living,  she  had  loved  to  frequent,  the  relies  of  the  beautiful 
maid  reposed.  The  lofty  trees  beneath  whose  shades  she  had 
so  often  passed  the  summer  noon  in  maiden  meditation,  now 
waved  their  leafy  branches  above  her  grave  :  the  silver  stream 
that  had  soothed  her  ear  with  its  murmuring  flow,  now  seemed 
to  wail  along  its  pebbly  channel  with  a  constant  dirge;  while 
the  flowers  which  her  own  hand  had  planted  breathed  around 
their  dying  fragrance  and  shed  their  melancholy  bloom.  In 
unutterable  anguish  I  threw  myself  upon  the  spot  where  my 
buried  love  was  laid  ;  where,  separated  from  me  only  by  a 
few  feet  of  earth,  and  a  sod  not  yet  green,  now*  moldered  that 
dust  which  had  been  once  perfection.  I  felt  that  she  whose 
presence  alone  rendered  earth  lovely  and  life  delightful,  was 
no  more,  and  for  me  nothing  remained  but  to  bewail  her  loss 
with  an  eternal  grief.  Hour  after  hour  rolled  on.  while,  re- 
gardless of  the  flight  of  time,  I  remained  stretched  upon  that 
sacred  grave,  pouring  forth  alternately  the  lamentations  of 
love,  the  groans  of  anguish,  or  the  imprecations  of  despair. 
The  long  day  passed  away,  the  evening  came  and  departed, 
and  was  followed  by  the  gloomy  twilight,  until  at  length  the 
silver  moon  and  diamond  stars  glittered  in  the  midnight  sky. 
As  I  looked  around  on  the  calm  of  nature  and  the  solemn  mag- 
nificence of  the  heavens,  a  softer  and  less  vehement  feeling 
stole  insensibly  over  my  thoughts.  "  Ye  wild  solitudes,"  I 
exclaimed,  "  ye  lofty  hills,  and  ancient  woods,,  and  gushing 
fountains,  and  springing  flowers,  ye  can  sympathize,  ye  can 
weep  with  me,  for  you  know  what  I  have  lost  !  Through 
your  deep  recesses  my  Laura  delighted  to  wander,  or  to  repose 
beneath  your  quiet  shade  ;  and  ye  were  witnesses  when  she 
vowed  to  me  the  first  love  of  her  virgin  heart.  But  never 
again  will  ye  behold  her  nymph-like  step  and  graceful  form. 


38  MEMOIRS    OF   A    KTJLLIFIEE. 

That  shape  of  beauty  now  molders  coldly  in  the  grave,  and 
over  ir,  my  heart  must  break,  or  my  tears  never  cease  to  flow  ! 
Ye  bright  and  everlasting  stars  !  it  is  to  your  realms  of  light 
and  love  that  her  pure  spirit  has  ascended.  But  if  the  remem- 
brance of  anything  earthly  ever  enters  an  angel's  thoughts,  or 
thrills  an  angel's  heart,  I  know  that  even  in  that  blissful 
heaven  I  arn  not  forgotten.  Perhaps,  at  this  moment,  from 
some  one  of  yonder  radiant  worlds,  my  Laura  looks  fondly 
upon  me  with  pitying  and  celestial  love." 

As  I  thus  spoke,  my  eye  accidentally  turned  to  a  single  star 
in  a  particular  quarter  of  the  heavens.  I  recognized  it  to  be 
the  one  which  Laura  had  once  fancifully  selected  as  her  future 
habitation.  As  this  recollection  flashed  into  my  mind.  I  in- 
stantly resolved  upon  the  most  daring  project  that  ever  mortal 
conceived,  and  which  I  alone  of  all  men  was  able  to  execute. 
I  determined  to  leave  this  world,  and  to  seek  the  distant  and 
happy  sphere  where  my  Laura  now  resided.  I  summoned  my 
attendant  devil.  "  Kalouf,"  said  I,  "  I  have  good  reason  to 
suppose  that  Laura  now  inhabits  yonder  brilliant  star.  Put  on 
your  wings,  and  carry  me  there  as  quickly  as  possible."  The 
demon  gazed  upward,  and  sighed  deeply.  "  That,"  said  he, 
"  is  beyond  my  power;  my  travels  are  confined  to  the  limits  of 
earth  and  hell :  into  the  fair  regions  of  the  skies  I  am  forever 
forbidden  to  enter.  All  that  I  can  do  is  to  enable  you  to  get 
there  alone.  Living,  as  I  do,  in  Pandemonium,  at  the  center 
of  the-  earth.  I  have  found  out  what  constitutes  gravitation, 
and  how  to  modify  or  destroy  it.  This  mysterious  principle, 
which  pervades  all  nature,  is  the  chief  enemy  to  free  motion. 
You  shall  be  no  longer  subject  to  its  power."  Thus  saying, 
the  demon  (by  a  process  which  I  do  not  consider  myself  at 
liberty  to  divulge)  extracted  every  particle  of  weight  from  my 
body,  and  T  stood  upon  the  earth  as  light  and  free  as  an  ethereal 
spirit  !  "  Now,"  said  Kalouf.  "you  know  that  whenever  you 
begin  to  move  in  any  direction,  and  meet  with  no  obstruction, 
you  can  keep  on  forever  with  undiminished  velocity.  In  order 
that  you  may  safely  reach  the  star  which  you  wish  to  visit,  it 
is  only  necessary  to  apply  some  propelling  power,  to  be  sure 
that  you  start  in  a  straight  line  toward  it,  and  to  guard  against 
starvation  by  the  way.  1  will  see  to  all  these,  and  will  attend 


MEMOIR'S  or  A  NTTLLIFIER.  39 

% 
you  some  thirty  or  forty  miles  of  the  journey,  to  satisfy  myself 

that  you  are  getting  on  prosperously,  and  keeping  in  the -right 
course." 

The  demon  then  began  his  preparations.  In  an  hour  or  two 
he  provided  a  quantity  of  gunpowder,  which  he  deposited  with 
great  care,  so  as  to  operate  in  a  particular  manner.  Above 
this  he  placed  an  immense  bag  of  provisions,  made  as  light  as 
I  was.  I  seated  myself  upon  the  bag  ;  he  applied  powder  be- 
low, and  as  it  exploded  I  was  launched  into  the  air  with  a 
velocity  far  exceeding  that  of  a  cannon-ball.  Kalouf 
spread  his  broad  black  wings,  came  flying  along  with  me 
(though  it  was  as  much  as  he  could  do  to  keep  up),  occasionally 
pushing  me  on  one  side  or  the  other,  to  give  the  proper  direc- 
tion to  my  flight. 

The  earth  faded  gradually  from  my  sight,  as  I  flew  swiftly 
upward  through  the  blue  expanse.  My  heart  dilated  with 
pride  and  exultation  as  I  looked  down  upon  the  diminished 
world.  i:  Contemptible  mortals,"  I  exclaimed,  "  that  inhabit 
yonder  lump  of  dirt,  I  renounce  all  fellowship  with  you,  and 
bid  you  and  your  vile  world  farewell  forever.  While  you  are 
chained  to  the  dull  earth,  and  crawl  like  worms  along  its  sur- 
face. I  mount  into  the  skies,  and  roam  at  pleasure  through  the 
sapphire  fields  of  heaven.  Possessed  at  once  of  the  substance 
of  a  mortal  and  the  freedom  of  a  disembodied  spirit,  I  can  fly 
from  star  to  star,  and  explore  every  quarter  of  the  universe. 
Perhaps  I  may  even  scale  the  crystal  walls  of  heaven,  and 
taste  before  death  of  joys  forbidden  to  every  other  mortal." 

I  thus  spoke  in  the  vanity  of  my  heart,  as  I  rose  triumph- 
antly into  the  ethereal  regions.  But,  alas  !  soon  did  I  repent 
bitterly  of  my  foolish  presumption.  For  some  time  I  went  on 
quite  prosperously,  and  toward  the  end  of  the  seventh  day 
found  myself  almost  in  contact  with  the  star  at  which  I  in- 
tended to  stop.  But,  of  course,  I  was  moving  in  a  straight 
line,  without  the  power  of  varying  its  direction.  Imagine  my 
unutterable  vexation  and  consternation,  when,  after  a  journey 
of  so  many  millions  of  miles.  I  found  that  I  would  miss  the 
planet  by  about  fifteen  inches  !  Kalouf  and  I  had  made  some 
slight  mistake  in  our  calculatioa.  For  several  miles  I  passed 
so  near  to  its  surface  that  I  was  continually  endeavoring  to 


40  MEMOIRS    OF    A    XUIXI.FIEE. 

grasp  the  tops'  of  the  trees  with  my  hands,  but,  alas  !  I  could 
not  quite  reach  them. 

Meanwhile,  as  I  passed  along,  I  had  a  fair  view  of  the 
celestial  nymphs  who  inhabit  that  lovely  star.  They  are,  in- 
deed, charming  beyond  anything  that  mortal  fancy  ever 
dreamed  of.  Were  •'  the  statue  that  enchants  the  world" 
suddenly  animated  with  a  soul,  and  it  were  to  step  from  its 
pedestal  warm  with  the  fresh  glow  of  young  existence,  it 
would  not  look  one  thousandth  part  as  beautiful.  I  almost 
thought  one  or  two  of  them  half  equal  to  my  lost  and  adored 
Laura.  Deeply  did  I  lament  that  I  could  not  alight  and  pass 
the  rest  of  my  days  in  that  delightful  country.  But  the  power 
which  impelled  me  onward  was  above  my  control.  I  took  a 
last  sad  look  at  the  fair  creatures  whom  I  was  never  to  behold 
again,  and  was  hurried  away  with  undiminished  velocity  into 
the  regions  of  illimitable  space. 

As  I  traveled  onward,  I  continually  hoped  that  some  time 
or  other  I  would  arrive  at  a  stopping-place.  I  saw,  and  passed 
by.  innumerable  worlds,  but  was  so  unfortunate  as  to  miss 
them  all.  The  amazing  things  which  1  beheld  in  those  strange 
and  distant  regions  I  will  not  attempt  to  relate,  because  they 
utterly  exceed  all  mortal  power,  either  of  description  or  of  be- 
lief. I  know  not  for  how  many  months  or  years  I  traveled  on- 
ward. At  length  I  seemed  about  to  pass  the  utmost  limits  of  the 
creation.  The  planets  had  totally  faded  from  my  sight,  and 
the  scattered  rays  of  a  few  distant  stars  only  feebly  penetrated 
the  increasing  gloom.  I  shuddered  with  agony  and  horror  as 
1  perceived  that  I  was  leaving  forever  the  realms  of  life  and 
light,  and  entering  the  boundless  solitudes  where  cold  and 
darkness  still  maintain  their  primeval  empire.  Suddenly  my 
flight  was  interrupted  by  a  wall  of  immeasurable  height.  In 
this  wall  was  a  gate  of  immense  size,  through  some  slight 
crevices  of  which  flashed  forth  gleams  of  the  intensest  radiance. 
Beside  this  portal  there  stood  keeping  guard  a  creature  so  pro- 
digious that  my  eyes  could  not  half  discern  his  size.  ';  You 
little  rascal,"  exclaimed  the  grim  giant,  "what  are  you  doing 
here,  with  that  big  bag  of  bread  and  meat?  Back  to  the 
vita  world  from  whence  you  come,  and  never  again  let  me 
catch  you  in  this  forbidden  region."  Thus  speaking,  the  huge 


MEMOIRS    OP   A   NULLIFIES.  4] 

monster  seized  me  with  his  strong  hand.  Whirling  me  around 
his  heud.  and  giving  full  sweep  to  an  arm  at  least  a  thousand 
miles  in  length,  he  hurled  me  back  toward  the  earth  with  the 
velocity  of  a  thunder-bolt. 

I  thus  returned,  even  more  rapidly  than  I  had  left  it,  toward 
my  native  world.  The  giant  had  thrown  rne  with  so  true  aim 
that  I  followed  almost  exactly  the  route  by  which  I  had  come. 
Proceeding  at  the  rate  of  about  ten  thousand  feet  in  a  second, 
in  eighteen  months  I  again  beheld  that  world  of  which  I 
thought  I  had  taken  an  eternal  farewell.  My  usual  ill  luck 
seemed  again  to  attend  me.  for  I  found  myself  going  a  little  too 
much  to  one  side.  Fortunately,  however.  I  passed  over  the  center 
of  the  arctic  circle,  and  thus  came  in  contact  with  the  North 
Pole,  which  projects  several  thousand  miles  above  the  surface. 
I  seized  it,  and  arrested  my  flight,  and  then  jumping  off  to- 
ward America,  I  landed  in  the  State  of  Connecticut. 

Unluckily  I  came  down  at  so  public  a  spot  that  my  descent 
was  witnessed  by  several  of  the  inhabitants  of  that  pious  land, 
who  instantly  seized  me  as  a  conjurer,  and  carried  me  off  to  trial. 
Upon  being  weighed,  as  is  usual  in  such  cases,  against  a  big 
Bible,  I  of  course  was  found  wanting,  and  condemned  to  be 
burnt.  Hearing  this  sentence  pronounced,  I  thought  it  was 
time  to  take  to  my  heels  j  and  as  I  could  jump  as  far  as  I 
pleased.  I  had  no  difficulty  in  making  my  escape. 


CHAPTER    VIII. 

ON  my  way  back  to  the  South  I  passed  through  Washing- 
ton city.  Congress  was  in  session,  and  I  stepped  into  the 
Senate  hall,  to  see  what  was  going  on.  Just  then  the  Hon. 
Daniel  Webster  arose,  in  order  to  present  a  petition  in  behalf 
of  the  venerable  Noah  Webster  and  others,  his  converts  and 
disciples.  The  learned  member  introduced  it  with  a  most 
touching  encomium  on  this  patriarch  of  the  birch,  and  grand- 
father of  letters  and  spelling  in  America. 

-  Mr.  President,  and  gentlemen  of  the  Senate,"  said  he,  "  I 


42  MEMOIRS    OF    A   NULLIFIER. 

know  Dut  too  well  (and  here  the  peculiar  modesty  of  the  in- 
genuous speaker  suffused  his  whole  countenance  with  the 
deepest  blushes)  that  my  own  poor  visage,  ill-befitting  as  i;  is 
to  accompany  a  name  so  glorious — claruin  et  venerabile  nomen. 
that  will  make  the  name  of  the  country  that  gave  him  birth 
honored  and  loved  in  the  remotest  regions  and  times — can  but 
little  recall  the  noble  and  gentle  and  intellectual  lineaments  of 
the  divine  old  man,  whose  portraiture,  opposite  to  the  title- 
page  of  his  first  great  production  (his  spelling-book),  I  doubt 
not  is  engraved  on  the  hearts  of  all  those  who  hear  me." 

[At  this  truly  affecting  appeal  I  saw  many  of  the  distin- 
guished personages  present  lay  their  hands,  with  what  they 
call  in  the  French  Chamber  of  Deputies,  "  une  tres  vive  sen- 
sation." upon  that  part  of  the  body  where  Dr.  Webster's  image 
is  perhaps  the  most  legibly  imprinted.  ''  The  master  saw  the 
madness  rise,"  and  felt  how  strongly  he  had  struck  the  electric 
chain  that  bound  his  audience  to  him.  With  that  incompa- 
rable eloquence,  therefore,  which  places  him  above  all  other 
speakers — whether  he  pour  out  his  lofty  strains  of  patriotism 
in  praise  of  the  Hartford  Convention,  or  rebuke  the  foul  spirit 
of  Southern  disaffection — whether  his  forcible  arguments  scat- 
ter dismay  among  the  supporters  of  a  tyrannical  tariff,  or  his 
equally  powerful  logic  enforce  its  justice,  its  constitutionality, 
and  its  expediency — he  continued  in  the  same  ingenuous 
strain.] 

"  If  there  is  anything  in  my  poor  talents  that  merits  the 
smallest  part  of  the  fame  with  which  (I  can  most  unaffectedly 
say)  I  am  overwhelmed,  it  is  to  the  lessons  of  the  immortal  Dr. 
Webster  that  the  glory  must  be  given. 

(i  It  is  easy  to  see  that  New  England,  always  the  chosen  seat 
of  the  most  spotless  good  faith,  and  of  patriotism  the  most  de- 
voted and  enlarged,  is  destined  to  be  as  pre-eminent  in  learning 
and  the  elegant  arts,  as  she  already  is  in  the  Arcadian  sim- 
plicity and  guilelessness  of  her  manners.  In  short,  that,  joining 
the  Doric  severity  to  the  Ionian  elegance,  in  her  rarely-com- 
pounded character,  it  is  inevitable  that  she  must  become  the 
'*'  magna  parens"  of  taste,  of  learning,  and  of  politeness  to  all 
the  less  favored  regions  of  our  land.  Happily  for  the  benighted 
morals  and  intellects  of  our  Southern  neighbors,  Heaven,  in  its 


MEMOIRS    OF   A   NULLIFIEE.  43 

wise  and  beneficent  designs,  has  implanted  in  the  breasts  of  all 
genuine  New  Englanders  a  sacred  desire  of  propagating  every- 
where the  virtues  which,  but  for  their  humanizing  efforts, 
would  remain  almost  peculiar  to  themselves.  Overrunning,  in 
their  self-devoting  labors,  the  most  inaccessible,  the  most  in- 
hospitable shores — missionaries,  everywhere,  of  the  divine 
cause  of  integrity  and  knowledge  and  disinterestedness — "  pil- 
grims," still,  to  every  shrine  where  freedom  may  be  worship- 
ed and  gain  despised — they  are  always  seen  to  attach  them- 
selves to  no  objects  but  the  improvement  of  those  around  them, 
and  the  cultivation  of  an  unimpeachable  character.  I  have 
known  full  many  a  lawyer  of  the  finest  talents,  abjuring  the 
ease  and  dignity  of  a  competence  in  Hartford  or  Providence,  to 
fix  himself  in  some  such  degraded  place  as  Richmond  or 
Charleston,  merely  that  he  might  impart  to  the  low  and  vulgar 
practice  of  their  courts  the  nobler  arts  of  a  New  England 
pleader.  Yea.  such  is  their  zeal  for  the  comfort  and  improve- 
ment of  the  poor  people  among  whom  they  carry  their  talents 
and  virtues,  that  I  have  often  known  men  of  the  most  eminent 
attainments,  in  migrating,  as  lawyers,  doctors,  and  clergymen, 
to  the  South,  to  take  their  carriages  full  of  checked  handker- 
chiefs and  tinware  (articles  there  much  used  by  those  who 
are  rich  enough  to  buy  them),  and  these  they  distributed  along 
the  roads  where  they  passed,  for  a  price  next  to  nothing. 

"  It  is  time  that  the  elegant  and  profound  genius  of  New 
England  should  be  emancipated  from  the  sordid  occupations  to 
which  it  is  too  often  condemned — that  the  talents  which  can 
alone  enlighten  the  rest  of  the  nation  should  be  at  once  placed 
above  the  '  res  angusta  domi.'  It  is  utterly  unfit  that  the 
abilities  and  the  virtues  which  have  constantly  dedicated  them- 
selves to  the  good  of  mankind,  and  scorned  all  low  considera- 
tions of  present  gain  and  temporary  popularity,  should  any 
longer  languish  for  the  want  of  a  little  of  that  wholesome  stim- 
ulus which  the  most  learned  political  economists  have  con- 
sented to  denominate  '  money.' 

"  I  will,  at  no  remote  day,  do  myself  the  honor  of  calling  the 
attention  of  Congress  to  a  general  project  for  the  advancement 
of  learning  and  taste  in  America,  by  rescuing  from  the  neglect, 
into  which  the  jealous  artifices  of  European  authors  have 


44  MEMOIRS    OF    A   NULLIFIEK. 

caused  them  to  fall,  those  wonderful  achievements  of  our  early 
writers,  which  gained  them,  in  their  day,  such  prodigious 
applauses,  among  those  best  of  all  possible  judges  of  merit, 
themselves.  A  complete  conspiracy  has,  as  is  but  too  natural, 
combined  the  men  of  letters  of  all  other  nations,  ancient  and 
modem,  against  a  literature  which,  it  is  easy  to  see,  is  des- 
tined, soon  or  late,  to  overwhelm  all  othTers.  I  doubt  not. 
therefore,  but  that  this  house,  with  the  same  inspired  patriot- 
ism which  has  hitherto  made  it  so  wisely  postpone  all  advan- 
tages of  the  nearer  generations,  to  those  which  shall  exist  a 
thousand  years  hence,  will  hasten,  by  forcing  the  scholars  of 
the  present  times  to  adopt  the  true  models  of  an  original  and 
peculiar  literature,  to  bring  on  that  golden  age  of  science,  taste, 
politeness,  and  religion,  which  Massachusetts  and  her  peerless 
sisters  were  born  to  produce.  A  large  part  of  the  country — 
I  may  say  the  whole,  if  magnitude  were  measured  by  worth- 
iness— is  amply  prepared  for  these  measures.  Were  it  not  for 
the  Southern  States,  those  continual  dead-weights  upon  every- 
thing great  and  glorious  among  us,  New  England  might  swiftly 
overleap  the  centuries  that  interpose  between  her  and  the  full- 
ness of  her  future  glory,  and  shine  at  once  in  the  acknowledged 
ascendancy  of  her  consummate  fame.  Unfitly  linked,  there- 
fore, as  she  is,  to  companions  so  uncongenial,  some  reparation 
is  due  her  for  this  sacrifice,  by  which  she.  who  might  so  easily 
be  the  instructress  of  all  mankind,  consents  to  be  nothing  more 
than  the  mistress  and  enlightener  of  these  States. 

"  The  design  of  my  project  is,  to  apply  to  those  things 
which  are  of  the  growth  of  the  understanding,  the  same  no- 
ble and  philosophical  principles  which  have  been  accompanied 
with  such  distinguished  benefits,  when  made  to  act  upon  our 
trade  and  industry.  Nothing  else  will  be  necessary  than  a 
few  effective  measures  of  protection  to  our  home  productions, 
in  order  to  confer  upon  us  a  superiority  as  decided  in  moral 
workmanship,  as  we  have  already  obtained  in  all  physical 
handicrafts.  It  is  well  known  that  extensive  and  active 
manufactories  of  all  intellectual  wares,  from  the  light  and 
airy  fabrics  of  the  poet,  to  the  ponderous  and  solid  ones  of 
the  mathematician  and  divine,  have  long  existed  in  most  parts 
of  New  England.  Of  these  institutions  it  is  acknowledged  to 


MEMOIRS    OF    A    XULLIFIER.  45 

be  the  remarkable  peculiarity,  that  they  alone  give  to  their  t 
pupils  such  a  general  proficiency,  that  they  rarely  fail  to  be 
equally  skillful  in  all  the  sciences  and  all  the  arts.  Their 
scholars  are  generally  good  tailors,  saddlers,  shoemakers,  and 
hatters — not  uninformed  in  joinery,  upholstery,  and.  ship- 
building— singularly  expert  as  masons,  stone-cutters,  archi- 
tects, and  civil  engineers — excellent  at  the  making  (and  eke 
the  drinking)  of  beer,  cider,  and  switchel. 

"  To  thevse  diversified  talents,  the  greater  part  of  them  add 
no  slight  knowledge  in  the  noble  art  of  making  a  bargain — 
in  singing  psalms  with  the  genuine  evangelical  twang  and 
snuffle — and  in  exercising  a  very  keen  though  innocent  in- 
spection into  the  domestic  secrets  of  their  neighbors.  These 
lighter  and  more  elegant  accomplishments  are  further  adorned 
with  many  other  amiable  and  gentle  qualities  of  the  heart, 
which  make  them  everywhere  the  delight  and  admiration  of 
those  among  whom  they  inhabit  or  sojourn. 

':  Besides  all  this,  they  are  as  temperate  as  Kentuckians, 
benevolent  and  disinterested  as  Ohioans,  intelligent  as  Penn- 
sylvanians,  modest  as  New  Yorkers,  brave  as  Virginians,  and 
senerous  and  courteous  as  South  Carolinians.  They  are  in- 
variably skilled  in  dentistry,  surgery,  and  medicine — in  com- 
pounding and  imitating  all  kinds  of  drugs — in  jurisprudence 
and  peddling — in  theology  and  the  making  of  tinware.  Be- 
sides their  own  Attic  dialect,  they  are  occasionally  able  to 
speak,  if  not  to  write,  the  vulgar  English  of  the  Southern 
States  and  of  Great  Britain.  In  the  other  modern  tongues 
they  are  so  skillful  as  to  have  introduced  very  extensive  Cas- 
tilianisms  into  the  Spanish — to  have  largely  corrected  and  re- 
formed the  Parisian  pronunciation — to  have  restored  the  true 
Tuscano-Roman  speech,  which  had  latterly  begun  to  degen- 
erate— and  to  have  brought  about  a  perfect  amalgamation  of 
Saxon  and  Low  Dutch,  which  has  been  so  long  a  great  de- 
sideratum in  German  literature. 

':  Joining  to  all  these  eminent  attainments  an  accurate  ac- 
quaintance with  the  Latin  and  Greek  grammars,  and  a  con- 
siderable knowledge  of  the  smaller  catechism,  they  are,  for 
the  most  part,  singularly  fitted  to  become  authors  of  gigantic 
dictionaries,  singing-masters,  presidents  of  colleges,  bar-keep- 


46  MEMOIRS    OF    A    NULLIFIES. 

^ers.  extensive  merchants,  lecturers  on  botany  and  astronomy, 
venders  of  wooden  clocks,  missionaries  among  the  Indians  and 
Southerners,  professors  of  mathematics,  fire  kings,  and  dealers 
in  a  new  growth  of  nutmegs. 

'•  Their  deep  researches  into  the  mysteries  of  nature  have 
also  led  them  to  the  discovery  of  many  astonishing  secrets — 
how  to  make  gun-flints  out  of  horn,  and  diamonds  of  charcoal 
— indigo  out  of  flour,  and  chocolate  and  olive-oil  out  of  ground 
nuts — sewing-thread  out  of  wood,  mustard  out  of  corn-meal, 
twenty-four  sheets  of  paper  out  of  seventeen — cigars  more 
exquisite  than  the  genuine  Havana  out  of  oak  leaves,  and  a 
great  variety  of  salutary  and  precious  medicines  out  of  pine- 
bark. 

"  I  will  not,  because  I  am  sure  that  I  need  not,  further  de- 
tain the  Senate  by  expatiating  on  the  universal  talents  and 
virtues  which  are  by  the  whole  world  acknowledged  to  belong 
to  the  New  England  character.  Still  less  need  I  argue  in 
support  of  the  proposition  which  I  am  about  to  submit  for 
your  consideration,  because  its  justice  \s  self-evident — \\spolicy 
has  been  declared  by  this  body,  and  has  already  become  the 
settled  and  profitable  system  of  the  country — and  the  principle 
upon  which  it  is  founded  is  the  inestimable  privilege  for  which 
our  ancestors  of '76  fought  and  died,  and  to  secure  which  they 
established  this  glorious  Union. 

•:  I  do  riot  propose  at  present  to  submit  my  whole  plan  for 
the  encouragement  and  protection  of  Northern  learning  and 
genius,  but  to  begin  with  a  single  and  primary  branch.  I 
adopt  this  course,  in  order  that  those  narrow-minded  opposers 
of  everything  new  and  useful,  the  people  of  the  Southern 
States,  and  particularly  of  South  Carolina,  maybe  by  degrees 
overpowered  in  the  resistance,  which  I  doubt  not  they  will  un- 
generously endeavor  to  make  to  it.  By  our  next  session  the 
provisions  of  the  act  may  be  so  enlarged  as  to  embrace  every 
other  branch  of  letters,  and  extend  to  the  prohibition  of  books 
and  writings  of  all  kinds  from  England  and  every  other 
country.  So  that  henceforth  we  may  not  be  indebted  to 
foreigners  for  any  portion  of  our  ideas  concerning  morals, 
history,  poetry,  language,  physic,  mathematics,  politics,  phil- 
osophy, geography,  or  any  other  science  or  subject  whatever. 


MEMOIRS    OF    A    XULLIFIER.  47 

In  order  to  accomplish  these  great  purposes.  I  offer  the  follow- 
in;,'  bill: 
"  An  Act  concerning  Webster's  Spelling  Book,  and  to  define 

the  powers  of  the  President. 

'•  Be  it  enacted  by  the  Senate  and  House  of  Representatives 
of  the  United  States  of  America  in  Congress  Assembled:  That 
on  and  after  the  third  day  of  March  next,  it  shall  not  be  law- 
ful for  any  boy,  girl,  child,  or  infant,  or  any  other  person  or 
persons  whatsoever,  within  the  limits  of  the  United  States,  to 
learn  or  siudy  their  ab  abs  and  eb  ebs  out  of  any  other  Spell- 
ing Book  ihan  the  ;  American  Spelling  Book,'  invented  by  Dr. 
Noah  Webster. 

•'  Sec.  2.  The  sole  use  of  the  said  spelling-book  of  Noah 
Webster  being  enjoined,  and  the  introduction  of  all  others  pro- 
hibited, it  is  hereby  declared  that  all  boys,  girls,  infants,  chil- 
dren, schoolmasters,  parents,  and  guardians,  who  fail  to  use  it, 
or  surreptitiously  seek  to  learn  from  the  spelling-books  of 
Murray.  Dilworth.  and  similar  authors — and  all  printers  and 
stationers  who  attempt  to  print  or  publish,  and  all  merchants 
and  traders  who  endeavor  to  import  or  vend,  any  other  such 
forbidden  spelling-books — shall  be  considered  guilty  of  treason 
against  the  United  States,  and  be  punished  accordingly.  And 
to  secure  the  observance  of  this  act.  the  Army  and  Navy  of 
the  United  States  are  placed  at  the  disposal  of  the  President, 
and  it  is  hereby  declared  to  be  his  high  and  sacred  duty  to  en- 
force it  at  all  hazards." 

The  bill  passed  by  a  vote  of  31  to  15. 


CHAPTER    IX. 

I  NOW  found  myself,  as  it  were,  entered  anew  into  the  world. 
But  it  was  a  world  which  now  contained,  in  its  whole  wide 
compass,  nothing  that  I  loved,  except  the  memory  of  Laura. 
Without  her.  the  earth  had  no  beauty  and  existence  no  charm. 
All  joy,  all  passion,  all  hope  had  perished  with  her.  and  had 
left  me  no  other  desire  than  to  share  her  place  of  rest.  Sweeter 


48  MEMOIRS    OF    A    XULLIFIER. 

Car  to  me  than  the  loftiest  throne  of  power  or  the  downiest 
couch  of  pleasure  would  have  been  the  repose  of  that  quiet 
grave.  Alike  through  the  joyless  day  and  the  hauiued 
slumbers  of  the  night,  one  ceaseless  anguish,  one  undying 
regret,  filled  every  thought  and  every  dream.  The  image  of 
my  buried  love,  cold,  dead,  moldering  in  the  grave,  was  for- 
ever present  to  my  remembrance.  The  universe  was  spread  in 
a  dreary  calmness  around  me,  and  seemed  only  a  wide  mauso- 
leum of  her  whom  I  had  lost  !  An  utter  melancholy  over- 
powered rne.  so  dark  and  deep  that  its  gloomy  cloud  extinguished 
all  enjoyment,  and  excluded  all  light  from  my  soul.  I  sat  for 
hours  and  days  wrapped  in  intense  despair,  motionless,  gazing 
on  vacancy,  enduring  a  torture  like  that  of  the  Titan,  while 
tile  vulture  memory  preyed  on  my  agonized  heart.  I  longed 
for  death,  and  was  impatient  of  its  delay;  but  I  had  been 
alike  instructed  by  the  ancient  stoic  and  the  modern  Christian 
not  to  anticipate  its  hour.  Existence,  therefore,  however 
wearisome  and  hateful,  was  to  be  borne  until  its  allotted 
period  should  corrie  to  an  end. 

The  moralists  of  every  age  had  taught  that,  in  earnest  em- 
ployment in  the  duties  of  life,  in  active  and  virtuous  exertion, 
is  to  be  found  the  best  antidotef  against  painful  remembrance. 
I  resolved,  therefore,  to  mingle  again  in  the  affairs  of  mankind, 
and  hoped  that  perhaps  the  extinguished  lamp  of  passion  might 
be  rekindled  at  the  shrine  of  glory  and  ambition,  or.  at  least, 
that  the  pursuit  or  the  possession  of  those  things  which  other 
men  most  covet,  might  supply  some  balm  to  heal,  or  anodyne 
to  .soothe,  my  individual  suffering.  Joining  in  the  general  con- 
test for  power  and  fame.  I  carried  with  me  an  energy  of  pur- 
poss  which  nothing  but  despair  could  have  inspired,  and  which 
rendered  rne  eminently  successful  in  acquiring  all  that  I  sought 
for.  except  the  oblivion  which  alone  I  desired.  I  explored  the 
realms  of  science  and  philosophy,  and  roamed  through  the 
elysiurn  of  poetry.  I  entered  the  legislative  halls,  and  the 
arena  of  politics,  and  endeavored  to  instruct  and  to  benefit  my 
country.  I  joined  the  ranks  of  war,  and  on  many  a  well- 
fought  field,  beneath  the  sometimes,  triumphant,  yet  oftener 
trampled,  banner  of  struggling  freedom,  my  step  was  the  first 
in  the  advance  and  the  last  in  the  retreat. 


MEMOIRS    OF    A    XULLIFIEK.  49 

Chiefly,  however.  I  devoted  myself  to  the  contemplation  and 
study  of  inanimate  nature.  I  had  always  possessed  an  en- 
thusiastic admiration  of  her  charms,  and  I  now  roamed  from 
country  to  country,  with  scarcely  any  other  purpose  than  to 
view  her  under  different  aspects,  and  to  gaze  upon  her  face, 
forever  varied  and  forever  lovely.  I  beheld  the  sun  rise  from 
the  Atlantic  wave  in  all  the  gorgeous  magnificence  of  his 
ocean  drapery,  and  his  setting  beams  tinge  with  rose-hues  the 
summits  of  the  Alpine  mountains.  I  stood  on  the  far  shores 
of  the  northern  seas,  and  saw  the  arctic  lights  stream  over  the 
jllurmned  sky.  and  fill  all  heaven  with  their  phamasmagorial 
splendor.  I  gazed  on  the  clear  blue  summer  sky  from  the  soli- 
tary forests  of  the  Allegany,  and  saw  the  mountain  eagle 
cleaving  its  deep  expanse  with  his  broad,  strong  pinions.  I 
viewed  the  mighty  ruins  of  the  ancient  civilized  world,  and 
the  ivy-covered  castles  of  the  baronial  ages,  and  the  gorgeous 
palaces  of  the  capitals  of  modern  Europe.  I  strayed  along  the 
banks  of  the  Teviot,  the  Tweed,  the  Arno,  and  the  Rhine.  I 
wandered  through  England  in  the  autumn,  through  Italy  in 
the  summer,  and  through  France  in  the  season  of  the  vintage. 
I  sailed  amid  the  spice-islands  of  the  Indian  seas,  and  reposed 
beneath  the  odorous  shade  of  Chili's  boundless  forests.  I 
roamed  through  the  interminable  prairies  of  the  Missouri, 
during  their  early  solitude,  when  mine  was  the  first  step,  save 
that  of  the  Indian,  which  had  ever  trod  the  flowery  waste. 
On  land  and  on  wave,  on  mountain  and  on  plain,  in  sunshine 
and  in  storm,  I  wooed  the  loveliness  of  nature ;  and  in  com- 
munion with  her  sacred  spirit,  endeavored  to  lose  the  sense  of 
my  own  loneliness  and  despair.  But  it  was  in  vain.  It  was 
in  vain  that  I  ransacked  the  realms  of  learning,  the  heights  of 
power,  the  world  of  imagination  and  reality,  in  search  of  the 
talisman  of  forgelfulness.  Never,  either  in  the  society  of  the 
gay  and  the  wise,  or  in  the  lonely  pursuit  of  knowledge,  or  in  the 
daring  visions  of  ambition,  or  in  the  pompous  Senate  hall,  or 
on  the  crimson  battle-field,  or  in  the  crowded  city,  or  amid  the 
solitude  of  unpeopled  nature — never,  my  buried  love  !  wert 
thou  for  one  moment  forgotten  or  undeplored. 

Finding  that  the  world    contained    nothing  which  I  could 
value,  and  that  the  consuming  anguish  within  me  was  rapidly 


50  MEMOIRS    OF   A    NULLIFIER. 

wearing  away  my  frame,  and  bringing  my  existence  to  its 
close,  I  resolved  again  to  visit  Laura's  grave  and  to  pass 
the  rest  of  my  days  in  solitude  beside  it,  in  order  that  I 
might  at  least  enjoy  the  only  melancholy  pleasure  which 
remained  to  me — that  of  breathing  my  last  sigh  over  her 
ashes,  and  of  minglins  my  own  with  them  in  death.  I  re- 
paired to  the  spot,  and  constructed  for  myself  a  rude  shelter 
in  the  recesses  of  the  forest  Every  day  I  passed  many 
hours  at  Laura's  grave,  in  the  indulgence  of  a  grief  which 
Time,  contrary  to  his  usual  wont,  seemed  rather  to  in- 
crease than  to  assuage.  Occasionally  I  endeavored  to  ab- 
stract and  employ  my  mind  in  poetical  composition,  and  pro- 
duced verses  which  at  least  possessed  the  merit  of  sincerity. 
The  following  are  given  as  a  specimen: 

ELEGY. 

Fair  maid  !   that  didst  so  early  die, 

In  blooming  beauty's  vernal  glow, 
For  thee  shall  breathe  the  ceaseless  sigh, 

For  thee  the  eternal  tear  shall  flow  ! 

Of  ail  that  once  my  heart  held  dear. 

Sad  thought  can  dwell  on  thee  alone; 
Thy  image  bright,  and  pure,  and  fair, 

Still  reigns  supreme  on  memory's  throne. 

At  dewy  morn  and  evening  cold, 

I  duly  to  thy  grave  repair, 
To  kiss  the  green  and  hallowed  mold, 

And  shed  the  sad  and  silent  tear, 

And  strew  the  flowers  that  earliest  bloom 
Around  thy  couch  of  dreamless  rest, 

And  bid  the  cold  and  ponderous  tomb 
Press  gently  on  thy  virgin  breast. 

But  thou.  on  that  eternal  shore, 

Where  all  is  peaceful,  pure,  and  bright, 

With  angel  wing  now  wander'st  o'er 
The  boundless  realms  of  life  and  light; 


MEilOIRS    OF    A    XULLIFIER.  51 

Or  sitt'st.  with  starry  glory  crowned, 

And  immortality  divine, 
Where  seraphs  pour  their  songs  around 

Almighty  Love's*  resplendent  shrine ; 

Or  restest  'neath  the  green  array 
Of  ceaseless  spring's  elysiau  shade. 

And  dream'st  eternity  away, 
In  bliss  that  can  not  fly  or  fade. 

But  if  the  thrill  of  sad  regret 

Celestial  bosoms  e'er  may  move,' 
Thy  lover  is  remembered  yet, 

And  pitied  with  an  angel's  love  ! 

Oh,  ne'er  again  can  hope  illume 
Her  flame  of  joy  within  my  breast ; 

I  only  wish  to  share  thy  tomb, 
And  slumber  in  its  lonely  rest. 

How  sweet  that  calm  and  silent  sleep, 
Untroubled  by  a  thought  or  dream  ! 

Unfelt  the  tears  of  night  would  weep, 
Unseen  the  smiles  of  day  might  beam. 

There,  by  no  torturing  memory  torn, 

My  soul  all  sorrow  will  resign — 
My  throbbing  heart  will  cease  to  burn — 

My  moldering  dust  will  mix  with  thine  ! 

Several  times  I  had  observed  something  like  a  human  form 
wandering  amid  the  trees  around  me.  and  fancied  more  than 
once  that  I  saw  the  white  waving  of  a  woman's  robe.  But 
the  object  was  so  indistinct  that  at  first  I  little  regarded  it,  and 
thought  that  perhaps  the  motion  of  the  foliage  had  deceived 
my  vision.  At  length,  however,  it  approached  so  near  that  I 
perceived  it  to  be  a  lady  of  a  fine  person  and  exceedingly 
graceful  movement.  There  was  that  in  her  air  (for  the  dis- 
tance prevented  me  from  seeing  her  features)  which  seemed 

*  "  God  is  love."— 1  John  iv.  16. 


52  MliAIOIKS    OF    A    NULLIFIER. 

not  unfamiliar  to  me;  or  which,  at  least,  awoke  something 
like  a  vague  recollection.  I  approached  her,  but,  as  I  did  so, 
she  retired  along  the  path  which  had  formerly  led  to  Mr. 
Douglas:  residence.  I  felt  myself  irresistibly  impelled  to  ob- 
tain a  nearer  view.  arid,  hastening  my  steps,  overtook  her.  She 
turned  around.  Sacred  heavens  !  was  it  possible?  could  I  be- 
lieve my  senses  ?  Yes.  it  is,  it  is  Laura  herself;  it  is  my  own 
Laura — so  long  lost,  so  deeply  lamented — whom  I  now  clasped 
to  my  throbbing  and  transported  heart ! 

Seven  years,  it  is  true,  had  not  passed  without  having 
wrought  some  change  in  her  person,  but  to  my  delighted  gaze 
she  seemed  even  lovelier  than  ever.  The  flower  of  her  early 
beauty  had  now  expanded  into  the  glory  of  its  prime.  In  her 
appearance  enough  of  youthful  freshness  still  remained,  blended 
with  a  more  majestic  gracefulness  of  person  and  a  loftier  tone 
of  intellectual  expression. 

Mutual  explanations  ensued.  It  will  be  recollected  that 
when  I  left  Mr.  Douglas'  to  prepare  for  my  marriage.  Kalouf 
had  remained  behind.  From  him.  during  my  absence.  Laura 
accidentally  learned  the  secret  of  the  bargain  which  existed 
between  me  and  the  demon,  and  the  fate  which  my  marrying 
her  would  bring  upon  me.  Her  love  for  me  made  her  at  once 
resolve  that  I  should  not  incur  the  penalty.  Knowing  that 
argument  would  never  induce  me  to  resign  her,  she  deter- 
mined to  withdraw  herself  from  me  by  pretended  death.  This 
scheme  was  executed,  and  succeeded  as  I  have  related.  She 
had  herself  witnessed,  concealed  at  a  little  distance  from  her 
supposed  grave,  my  preparations  for  leaving  the  earth,  though 
without  any  suspicion  of  my  design  until  she  saw  me  actually 
take  flight. 

With  even  more  than  my  former  passion  I  now  urged  an 
immediate  union.  To  this,  however,  there  still  existed  the 
sam«  obstacle  as  before,  and  for  several  days  all  my  pleading 
was  ineffectual.  During  this  time  I  observed,  without  know- 
ing what  to  think  of  it,  that  Laura  had  several  earnest  con- 
ferences with  Kalouf.  At  length,  after  the  last  and  longest 
of  them,  with  a  look  of  mingled  exultation  and  sadness,  she 

consented  to  be  mine,  and  we  were  soon  afterward  married, 
i 

I  omitted  to  say  that  since  my  return  from  the  skies,  regard- 


MEMOIBS    OF    A    XCLLJFIER.  53 

less  of  the  services  of  Kalouf.  I  had  been  without  his  attend- 
ance. It  was  not  until  the  recovery  of  Laura  that  I  had  again 
summoned  him.  Immediately  after  my  marriage  I  called  him 
to  me.  "Build  me  instantly,"  said  I,  "  a  magnificent  hoiui; 
of  white  marble."  It  was  finished  in  two  days.  '•  Now  placo 
in  my  room  an  iron  chest  containing  a  million  of  guineas." 
This  was  done  in  an  hour.  "  Now  take  yourself  back  to  the 
infernal  regions  ;  I  have  no  further  occasion  for  your  services/' 
':  You  will  yet  see  me  again,"  said  the  demon,  with  a  spiteful 
scowl,  as  he  disappeared. 


CHAPTER    X. 

FOR  many  years  afterward  my  career  was  as  prosperous 
as  possible.  I  lived  in  the  most  splendid  manner,  a  numerous 
family  grew  up  in  goodly  array  before  rne.  and  everything 
around  breathed  of  wealth,  happiness,  and  honor.  I  had  filled 
various  important  offices  with  applause,  and  was  now  lookii.ii 
to  the  last  and  the  highest.  I  pass  over  the  details  of  tins 
part  of  my  life,  which  would  occupy  too  much  space,  and 
proceed  to  the  — th  of  October.  183-.  After  a  busy  day.  I 
was  calmly  seated  by  the  parlor  fireside,  about  nine  o'clock  ar, 
night,  with  the  newspapers  before  me.  My  wife  was  by  rny 
side — several  of  the  eldest  of  our  nine  sons  and  daughters 
joined  in  our  conversation — while  the  younger  ones  were 
gamboling  over  the  carpet.  The  room  displayed  everything 
that  taste  or  luxury  could  desire,  and  wore  the  comfortable 
and  genial  air  which  a  blazing  hearth  bestows.  A  pattering 
rain  which  beat  against  the  windows,  and  the  voice  of  Th<- 
coming  winter  which  sighed  in  the  gale  without.  contrasted 
with  all  these  and  added  to  their  charm:  and  the  whoif 
formed  a  scene  of  happiness  and  contentment  into  which  r 
seemed  that  no  thoughts  or  shapes  of  evil  could  intrude.  T 
was  deeply  engaged  in  calculating  what  States  would  go  lor. 
and  what  others  against  me.  in  the  approaching  election  t'<  v 
President,  when,  suddenly,  my  old  acquaintance,  the  demor,, 
stood  before  me  ! 


54  MKMon:s  OF  A  _\r].:.u-iER. 

I  was  scarcely  less  amazed  than  horror-struck.  In  my 
various  reverses  of  sorrow  and  of  joy  I  had  kept  little  note 
of  the  flight  of  tune,  and  suspected  not  how  swiftly  it  had 
moved.  I  supposed  that  I  had  at  least  a  dozen  good  years 
left :  instead  of  which,  the  whole  thirty  were  now  at  an  end  ! 

But  the  king  of  the  infernal  regions  appeared  not  now  in 
the  softened  guise  with  which  I  had  seen  him  clothed  at  our 
former  interview.  He  came  now,  not  to  beguile  and  win,  but 
to  claim  his  victim.  His  figure  seemed  more  colossal,  a  fiercer 
wrath  kindled  up  his  features,  and  a  gloomier  grandeur  was 
seated  on  his  brow.  A  diabolic  grin  of  malicious  exultation 
somewhat  relaxed  his  countenance,  only  to  render  it  more  ter- 
rible, as  he  fixed  upon  us  the  glare  of  his  large  and  fiery  eyes. 

He  had  on  the  same  old  blue  coat  that  I  had  seen  him  wear- 
ing thirty  years  before.  Its  enormous  pockets  seemed  stuffed 
fuller  than  ever  with  papers.  He  thrust  his  hand  into  one  of 
them,  and  pulled  out  a  large  bundle,  tied  with  red  tape.  "  I 
think,"  said  he.  "the  time  of  your  bond  is  nearly  run  out: 
let's  see  :  here  it  is — no.  this  is  a  lien  I  have  on  the  chairman 
of  the  committee  of  manufactures  in  the  House  of  Represent- 
atives, who  drew  up  the  tariff  act  of  1832;  the  three  members 
from  South  Carolina  who  voted  for  said  bill  are  also  included. 
T.his  is  another  lien,  on  the  President  of  the  United  States,  who 
threatened  his  native  State  with  the  bayonet,  in  case  she  at- 
tempted to  defend  her  liberty.  This  is  the  bond  of  the  old 
woman  who  edits  the  Richmond  Enquirer:  she  hopes  to  be- 
come an  ambassador,  but  I  think  will  miss  it.  This  is  the 
compact  of  a  big  South  Carolina  general :  he  expects  to  be 
made  sheriff,  down  yonder,  but  I  know  better  than  to  trust 
him.  Ah,  here's  your  bond,  at  last ;  it  is  due  this  night,  at 
twenty-five  minutes  after  nine  o'clock." 

The  large  clock  before  me  pointed  to  within  ten  minutes  of 
the  time  !  Who  can  tell  the  agony  which  thrilled  my  heart 
as  I  prepared  to  take  leave  of  Laura  and  happiness  forever  ! 
But  it  was  to  her  that  the  demon  addressed  himself.  "  Come, 
madam,"  said  he,  bowing  very  low.  "  please  to  get  ready.  I 
must  immediately  have  the  pleasure  of  your  company  to  the 
infernal  regions." 

"  What  do  you  mean  ?"  excla'Tied  I.     ::  I  am  your  victim  ; 


MEMOIRS    OF    A    XULLIFIER.  55 

but,  thank  Heaven.  I  alone.  Upon  that  pure  and  angelic 
creature  you  can  have  no  claim." 

''You  are  mistaken/''  said  he,  "I  have  a  claim,  so  legal 
that  Heaven  itself  can  not  save  her  from  me.  Here  is  her 
bond,  signed  by  her  own  hand,  by  which  she  is  now  forfeited 
to  rny  power.  I  see.  sir.  that  this  was  done  without  your 
knowledge.  You  are  to  understand  that  a  few  days  before 
your  marriage.  Laura  sent  Kalouf  to  me.  requesting  an  inter- 
view. She  there  proposed  that  I  should  take  her,  as  a  sub- 
stitute for  you.  To  that  I  consented,  and  in  exchange  for  your 
bond  she  gave  me  her  own.  of  which  I  now  demand,  and  will 
have  payment." 

This  was,  indeed,  too  true.  Laura:s  generous  love  had 
prompted  her  to  the  heroic  act  of  sacrificing  herself,  in  order  to 
save  me.  It  was  in  vain  that  I  now  entreated  and  implored 
the  demon  to  take  me  instead  of  her — it  was  in  vain  that  I 
vehemently  urged  that  I  was  his  proper  victim.  He  was  in- 
exorable. :-  Since  the  time  of  Eve."  said  he,  "  there  has  been 
upon  this  earth  nothing  in  female  shape  that  I  have  been  so 
anxious  to  po.-sess  as  your  Laura.  When  I  bear  away  to  the 
regions  of  pain  and  darkness  her  whom  the  Creator  formed  to 
give  new  luster  to  the  glory  of  his  own  courts,  how  will  it  fill 
with  shame  and  vexation  my  enemies  in  heaven  ? 

••  However."  continued  he.  '•  I  have  a  variety  of  business  to 
attend  to,  which  will  occupy  me  upon  earth  for  nearly  a  week. 
It  will  probably  be  four  days  before  I  return  to  Pandemonium. 
I  will  leave  you  until  then  to  get  ready  to  accompany  me.  I 
will  also  make  an  offer  which  will  afford  you  a  chance  of 
escape.  Provided  that  you  will  deliver  to  me  the  souls  of 
twenty-five  other  persons.  I  will  take  them  as  a  substitute  for 
yours,  and  agree  to  cancel  your  bond."  Thus  speaking,  the 
demon  disappeared. 

I  instantly  set  to  work,  and  published  the  following  adver- 
tisement : 

"  WANTED    TO    PURCHASE, 

Immediately,  twenty-five  souls.  Being  very  anxious  to  ob- 
tain them,  and  having  abundance  of  money,  the  subscriber  is 
willing  to  allow  a  high  price,  and  to  pay  the  cash  down. 

"  HENRY  TREVOR." 


56  MEMOIRS    OF    A   NULUFIER. 

Expecting  of  course  great,  difficulty  in  finding  persons  will- 
ing to  sell.  I  employed  most  of  the  day  in  circulating  this 
notice  as  much  as  possible.  Upon  returning  to  my  house, 
however.  I  found  several  hundred  persons  already  assembled 
to  treat  with  me.  I  perceived  that  they  were  all  Yankees. 

';  Well,  my  friend.''  said  I,  accosting  one  of  them,  '•  what 
will  you  take  for  your  soul  ?" 

"  What  are  you  going  to  do  with  it  ?"  inquired  he. 

"  I  want  it  to  go  to  the  infernal  regions  in  my  place."  I 
replied. 

':  In  that  case,"  said  the  Yankee,  <:it  will  not  be  a  small 
sum  which  will  persuade  me  to  sell  it.  Who  can  calculate 
the  worth  of  an  immortal  soul?  It  is  more  precious  than 
much  ointment  and  sweet  spices — the  blessed  Saviour  died  to 
redeem  it — it  is  destined  to  joy  in  heaven,  or  to  pain  in  hell 
eternal — I  will  not  take  less  than  ten  dollars  in  specie  for  my 
soul." 

"  Very  well,"  said  I.  •'  I  will  give  it  to  you,  though  I  am  by 
no  means  sure  that  I  am  not  paying  more  than  its  value." 

The  above  may  serve  as  a  specimen  of  my  purchases.  I 
soon  bought  the  twenty-five,  at  prices  varying  from  two  to  ten 
dollars,  as  the  fear  or  avarice  of  the  seller  predominated.  To- 
ward the  last,  as  the  company  perceived  that  my  number  was 
nearly  made  up,  great  competition  was  excited,  and  of  course 
prices  fell  exceedingly.  I  could  then  have  bought  as  many  as 
I  pleased  for  next  to  nothing.  Those  who  had  not  sold,  went 
away  bitterly  bewailing  their  disappointment. 

After  paying  to  each  man  his  money,  I  locked  up  my  new 
purchases  in  a  safe  room,  telling  them  that  in  three  days  I 
would  deliver  them  to  the  devil.  There  they  remained,  very 
busily  engaged  in  swapping  clothes  and  trading  with  each 
other,  and  I  was  informed  that  by  night  there  was  not  a  single 
one  of  them  who  had  not  made  at  least  six  dollars  by  his 
speculations. 

The  demon  returned  punctual  to  the  time.  I  now  met  him 
without  fear,  and  producing  my  twenty-five  substitutes,  de- 
manded a  receipt  in  full. 

"  Mr.  Trevor."  said  he.  looking  scornful  and  offended.  "  I 
had  a  better  opinion  of  you  than  to  suppose  that  you  would 


MEMOIRS    OF    A    XULLIFIEK.  57 

attempt  to  cheat  me  in  this  shameful  manner.  Do  you  think 
to  pay  my  debt  to  me  in  that  which  is  my  own  properly  al- 
ready ?  This  is  the  same  as  if  you  owed  your  neighbor 
twenty-five  cattle,  and  were  to  go  into  his  field  and  take  beasis 
with  his  brand  on  them,  and  offer  them  to  him  as  payment. 
These  men  all  have  my  mark  upon  them.  And  besides,  to  pui 
the  matter  on  another  ground,  this  is  no  compliance  with  my 
offer,  for  these  creatures  have  no  souls.  I  will  show  you." 

The  devil,  it  is  to  be  understood,  is  a  wonderfully  skillfuj 
chemist,  and  knows  how  to  analyze  all  substances,  whether 
material  or  spiritual.  In  a  few  minutes  he  erected  a  furnace, 
seized  one  of  the  Yankees,  and  disengaged  from  the  body  that 
which  in  these  animals  supplies  the  place  of  a  soul.  It  stoo.l 
up  before  us.  a  thing  utterly  strange  and  indescribable.  He- 
put  it  into  a  large  crucible,  reduced  it  to  a  fluid  mass,  and 
then  separated  the  component  parts.  It  consisted  of 

PAKTS  ix  A  THOUSAND. 

Cunning 125 

Hypocrisy 125 

Avarice 125 

Falsehood 125 

Sneakingness 125 

Nameless  and  numberless  small  vices 140 

Essence  of  Onions,  New  England  Hum,  Molasses, 

and  Cod-Fish 235 

1000 

':  There."  said  the  devil,  holding  it  up.  "  do  you  call  that 
thing  a  soul  ?" 

With  a  furious  and  exasperated  look,  he  was  now  just  about 
to  seize  Laura  in  his  horrid  clutches,  when  at  that  moment 
there  came  a  subordinate  demon,  in  great  haste  :  "  My  liege/' 
exclaimed  he,  "the  Unionists  are  holding  a  meeting  in  Charles- 
ton !  You  are  wanted  there  immediately  !"  At  this  news  i}ic. 
demon,  delighted,  flew  away  instantly,  saying  to  me  that  he 
would  return  the  next  day. 

3* 


58  MEMOIRS    OF   A    NULLIFIEE. 


CHAPTER   XI. 

OBTAINING  thus  another  short  respite,  I  endeavored  to  be- 
think myself  of  some  other  method  of  escape.  At  that  time 
there  were  in  South  Carolina  three  famous  conjurers,  who 
were  said  to  have  performed  many  astonishing  feats  all  over  the 
country.  I  went  to  them,  related  my  case,  and  entreated  them, 
if  it  were  possible,  to  devise  means  for  my  relief.  Assuring 
me  that  there  was  but  one  effectual  plan,  they  retired  into  a 
large  apartment,  and  began  their  magical  rites. 

They  set  out  a  large  pot.  nearly  filled  with  water  from  the 
Savannah  River.  They  threw  into  it  the  writings  of  Jefferson, 
the  Crisis,  by  Turnbull,  the  speeches  of  M'Duffie,  Hayne.  etc., 
a  parcel  of  bones  gathered  from  the  battle-fields  of  the  Revolu- 
tion, and  a  variety  of  other  powerful  ingredients.  They  placed 
under  it.  as  fuel,  large  quantities  of  a  newspaper  called  the 
Columbia  Telescope,  which  presently  took  fire,  by  its  own 
internal  heat,  and  blazed  upward  with  a  ruddy  and  intense 
flame. 

Of  these  conjurers,  one  was  a  tall  and  slender  man.  with  an 
eye  of  extraordinary  brilliancy,  and  a  Southern  impetuosity  of 
speech  and  manner.  He  had  just  arrived  at  that  age  when 
the  intellect  is  strongest,  and  ambition  is  most  ardent.  He 
was  distinguished  by  the  loftiest  talents  and  the  purest  in- 
tegrity. In  his  presence,  almost  every  one  felt  that  unde- 
scribable  power  by  which  the  superior  spirit  sways  the  minds 
of  other  men  with  an  indefinable  and  commanding  charm. 
He  for  the  most  part  sat  still,  waving  his  wand,  and  reading 
from  a  paper,  dated  "  Pendleton,  July  29th,  1831,"  and  called 
an  "  Exposition." 

The  second  was  not  large  in  stature,  but  well  formed,  with 
dark  hair,  thick  whiskers,  and  a  very  military  air.  His  spark- 
ling black  eye  was  lit  up  with  humor,  wit,  and  uncommon 
fire.  His  whole  mien  and  bearing  indicated  that  a  tenement 
of  clay  was  never  animated  by  a  spirit  more  ardent,  enthusi- 
astic, and  determined.  Every  chivalrous  quality  adorned  his 
character,  and  had  procured  him  the  appropriate  appellation 


MEMOIRS    OF    A    NCLLIFIEE.  59 

of  ;%  the  Bayard  of  the  South."  He  looked  as  if  there  was 
nothing  whatever  of  noble  enterprise  which  he  would  fear  to 
attempt,  or  which,  having  undertaken,  he  would  ever  abandon 
while  earth  or  heaven  afforded  means  for  its  accomplishment. 
He  stirred  the  pot. 

The  third  was  about  six  feet  two  inches  high,  and  thirty- 
seven  years  of  age.  His  hair,  prematurely  thinned  and  tinged 
with  gray,  gave  fully  to  view  his  broad,  lofty,  and  receding 
forehead.  His  eye  was  large,  full,  and  gray  :  his  person  ex- 
ceedingly noble  and  majestic,  and  every  movement  and  every 
gesture  was  the  perfection  of  manly  gracefulness.  He  was 
possessed  of  an  eloquence  scarcely  surpassed  by  that  of  his  an- 
cestor, the  famous  orator  of  Virginia,  and  which  seemed  sufficient 
to  animate  any  heart,  except  that  of  a  submissionist,  with  the 
same  passiona.te  spirit  of  courage  and  love  of  liberty  which 
burned  in  his  own.  His  speaking  features  glowed  with  the 
expression  of  such  transcendent  genius,  generosity,  courage, 
and  magnanimity  as  heaven  and  nature  only  bestow,  at  rare 
intervals,  upon  some  favorite  child.  He  spoke  the  incantation. 

0  mighty  Spirit,  whom  the  Power  Supreme, 
To  guard  and  vindicate  the  sacred  cause 
Of  liberty  and  justice  hath  appointed — 
Thou  who.  upon  a  thousand  battle-fields, 
In  the  oppressor's  and  the  tyrant's  blood 
Hast  bathed  thy  burning  lance — O  Goddess,  now, 
We  pray  that  thou  to  us  wilt  refuge  give, 
Beneath  thy  broad,  invulnerable  shield. 

In  every  age  and  every  clime  thou  still 
Hast  been  ador'd  by  all  whose  generous  souls 
Love  glory,  and  prefer  even  death  to  shame  ; 
Thy  presence  hallow'd  each  triumphant  field 
Where  Liberty  has  been  preserved  or  won, 
Or  the  warm  current  of  the  patriot's  heart 
Poured  forth  in  its  defense — Thermopylae. 
And  Marathon,  and  Eutaw,  and  King's  Mountain, 
Still  wear  the  glory  that  thy  footsteps  shed  • 
And  lasting  as  the  deep-fixed  earth  itself 
Shall  be  the  memories  that  hover  over  them. 


60  MEMOIRS    OF    A    NULLIFIEK. 

The  coward  and  the  slave  may  fear  to  look  upon 
The  radiance  of  thy  awful  countenance, 
But  to  thy  children  pleasant  is  the  sight, 
As  in  thy  terrible  beauty  thou  dost  come, 
And  nations  are  affrighted  at  thy  name. 

Through  thee  we  hope  deliverance  and  peace  ; 
But  yet,  if  blood  must  flow,  unterrifled, 
And  trusting  still  to  Providence  and  thee, 
We'll  do  our  duty  in  our  country's  cause, 
Even  though  Death  himself,  on  his  pale  horse, 
Should  lead  the  charge  against  us. 

In  olden  times 

Our  fathers  worshiped  at  thy  holy  shrine, 
And  proudly  waved,  on  many  a  well-fought  field, 
Thy  bright,  victorious  banner.     Aid  us  now, 
And  thy  pure  temple  soon  rebuilt  shall  rise, 
And  in  our  land  thy  worship  shall  endure 
To  all  eternity — 

Goddess,  arise  ! 

By  all  the  wrongs  of  this  oppressed  land — 
By  all  the  blood  for  freedom  ever  shed — 
And  by  our  rights — and  by  our  fathers'  graves — 
And  by  the  soil  beneath — and  heaven  above — 
We  call  upon  thee — 

In  the  hallow'd  name 

Of  Jefferson,  thy  high  priest — and  in  the  name 
Of  the  chief  good,  divinest  Liberty, 
We  call  upon  thee — appear,  appear,  appear  ! 

And  as  the  words  of  power  were  spoken,  the  thick  vapor 
which  arose  from  the  boiling  caldron,  and  filled  the  whole 
apartment,  gradually  gathered  itself  together  and  became  con- 
densed into  the  shape  of  a  beautiful  and  glorious  female  spirit. 
Her  figure  was  of  supernatural  size,  and  displayed  the  perfec- 
tion of  symmetry  and  grace.  A  flood  of  rosy  light  was  poured 
it  round  her  person,  which  shone  with  the  ineffable  loveliness 
of  eternal  youth.  A  shining  helmet  was  on  her  brow,  beneath 


MEMOIKS    OF    A    XULLIFIER.  61 

which  long  waving  hair,  as  bright,  as  sunbeams,  flowed  over 
her  uncovered  shoulders.  In  one  hand  she  held  a  flaming 
sword,  and  in  the  other  an  olive  branch,  while  on  her  left  arm 
hung  a  broad  and  glittering  shield.  Her  eyes  sparkled  with  ce- 
lestial fire,  and  their  glance  alone  seemed  sufficient,  to  strike 
terror  into  whole  armies.  A  robe,  like  that  of  a  Grecian  god- 
dess, flowed  lightly  around  her.  It  was  of  pure  white,  with  here 
and  there  a  few  streaks  of  a  crimson  hue.  Her  whole  form  was 
invested  with  such  beauty  and  such  majesty  as  immortality 
alone  may  wear:  and  would  have  been  too  dazzling  to  look 
upon,  but  that  a  placid  shade  softened  the  fierceness  of  the 
radiance,  and  made  it  tolerable  to  human  sense. 

The  magnificent  spirit  smiled  benignly,  and  bidding  us  dis- 
miss our  fear,  took  Laura  by  the  hand,  while  I  placed  myself 
at  her  side.  The  time  for  the  return  of  the  demon  had  now 
arrived.  Accordingly,  presently  he  came  flying  in,  his  coun- 
tenance inflamed  with  wrath  and  impatience.  The  first  object 
that  met  his  eyes  was  our  angelic  protectress.  "  What's  that  ?:> 
inquired  he.  in  the  utmost  astonishment.  '•'•  That,;;  said  I.  "is 
NULLIFICATION  !"  At  that  awful  name,  the  demon,  with 
a  shriek  of  horror  and  consternation,  instantly  took  to  flight; 
and  I  have  neither  seen  nor  heard  from  him  since.  Should 
he  ever  hereafter  attempt  to  molest  me,  he  shall  be  again 
NULLIFIED. 


NULLIFICATION   IN   1832-'33, 


THE  word  "  Nullifica- 
tion,"  according  to  Mr. 
Parton,  was  introduced 
into  American  politics 
in  1798.  when  the  Leg- 
islatures of  Virginia  and 
Kentucky,  prompted  by 
the  Alien  and  Sedition 
laws,  adopted  the  fa- 
mous resolutions  of 
'98.  of  which  Mr.  Jef- 
ferson and  Mr.  Madi- 
son were  the  chief 
authors.  Out  of  the 

sovereignty  of  the  original  Colonies,  on  entering  the  Federal 
Union,  had  grown  the  doctrine  of  State  rights ;  and  the  object 
of  these  resolutions  was  to  protest  against  a  possible  usurpa- 
tion of  power  by  the  general  government.  One  of  ihem  de- 
clared that,  for  the  assumption  of  powers  not  delegated  by  the 
States.  '•  a  nullification  of  the  act  was  the  rightful  remedy." 
But.  according  to  the  same  resolution,  the  act  of  the  general 
government  must  amount  to  an  undisguised  declaration  that  it 
will  proceed  to  exercise  over  the  States  all  powers  whatsoever. 
The  resolutions  of  '98  were  the  work  of  men  who  loved  the 
Union  of  the  States,  and  "were  drawn  and  passed  in  the  in- 
terest of  the  Union,  for  the  sake  of  the  Union,  to  cement  the 
Union,  to  avert  danger  from  the  Union,  to  provide  a  way  of 
restoring  the  Union,  if  it  was  ever  threatened  with  dissolu- 
tion." 

1* 


2  NULLIFICATION   IN    1832-'33. 

The  nullifies  of  1832.  however,  put  a  different  construction 
upon  this  matier.  They  maintained  that  any  single  State 
may  nullify  an  act  of  Congress  which  it  deems  unconstitu- 
tional, although  Mr.  Calhoun  declared  that  such  nullification 
does  not  tend  to  dissolve  the  Union.  The  extremists  meant, 
in  fact,  that  any  State  may  secede  from  the  Union  whenever 
it  likes.  ':  If  this  thing  goes  on,"  exclaimed  General  Jackson, 
"  our  country  will  be  like  a  bag  of  meal,  with  both  ends  open. 
Pick  it  up  in  the  middle  or  endwise,  it  will  run  out." 

The  first  act  of  South  Carolina  tending  to  nullification  was 
the  throwing  away  her  vote  in  the  exciting  Presidential  elec- 
tion of  1832.  This  was  the  more  significant  from  the  fact 
that  the  very  system  of  which  she  complained  so  much  was 
the  principal  issue  of  the  campaign.  In  1828  the  South 
elected  General  Jackson,  as  being  less  friendly  than  his  rival 
candidate  to  the  great  protective  or  American  system,  which 
Mr.  Clay  had  mainly  built  up  by  his  life-long  efforts.  Gene- 
ral Jackson  was  re-elected  by  an  overwhelming  majority.  He 
was  opposed  to  a  high  protective  tariff.  The  interests  of  South 
Carolina  appeared  to  be  identified  with  him,  yet  she  was  not 
satisfied.  Her  discontent,  as  John  Davis,  of  Massachusetts, 
said  in  Congress,  ';  lay  deeper  than  the  tariff,  and  will  con- 
tinue when  that  is  forgotten."  It  existed,  in  fact,  in  the  an- 
tipathy between  the  North  and  the  South,  resulting  from  the 
different  character  of  the  people  and  the  different  systems  of 
labor,  producing  in  each  section  their  legitimate  result.  "  The 
contest."  says  Mr.  Parton.  "between  the  slow  and  limited 
prosperity  of  the  South,  and  the  swift,  noisy,  marvelous  pro- 
gress of  the  North,  was  never  so  striking  as  it  was  during  the 
administration  of  General  Jackson.  The  North  was  rushing 
on.  like  a  Western  high-pressure  steamboat,  with  rosin  in  the 
furnace  and  a  man  on  the  safety-valve.  All  through  Western 
New  York,  Ohio,  Indiana,  and  Illinois  the  primeval  wilder- 
ness was  vanishing  like  a  mist,  and  towns  were  springing  into 
existence  with  a  rapidity  that  rendered  necessary  a  new  map 
every  month,  and  spoiled  the  gazetteers  as  fast  as  they  were 
printed.  The  city  of  New  York,  as  Mr.  Irving  has  beautifully 
told  us,  began  already  to  feel  itself  the  London  of  the  New 
World,  and  to  calculate  how  many  years  must  elapse  before 
it  would  he  Uie  London  of  the  universe." 


NULLIFICATION   IN    1832-'33.  3 

'•  The  South,  meanwhile,  was  depressed  and  anxious.  Cotton 
was  down.  Tobacco  was  down.  Corn,  wheat,  and  pork  were 
down.  For  several  years  the  chief  products  of  the  South  had 
either  been  inclining  downward,  or  else  had  risen  in  price  loo 
slowly  to  make  up  for  the  (alleged)  increased  price  of  the 
commodities  which  the  South  was  compelled  to  buy.  Few  new 
towns  changed  the  Southern  map.  Charleston  languished,  or 
seemed  to  languish  ;  certainly  did  not  keep  up  with  New  York, 
Boston,  and  Philadelphia.  No  Cincinnati  of  the  South  became 
the  world's  talk  by  the  startling  rapidity  of  its  growth.  No 
Southern  river  exhibited,  at  every  bend  and  coyne  of  vantage, 
a  rising  village.  No  Southern  mind,  distracted  by  the  impossi- 
bility of  devising  suitable  names  for  a  thousand  new  places  per 
annum,  fell  back  in  despair  upon  the  map  of  the  Old  World, 
and  selected  at  random  any  convenient  name  that  presented 
itself,  bestowing  upon  clusters  of  log  huts  such  titles  as  Utica, 
Rome.  Palermo.  Naples,  Russia,  Egypt,  Madrid,  Paris.  Elba, 
and  Berlin.  No  Southern  commissioner,  compelled  to  find 
names  for  a  hundred  streets  at  once,  had  seized  upon  the  let- 
ters of  the  alphabet  and  figures  of  arithmetic,  and  called  his 
avenues  A,  B,  C,  and  D,  and  instead  of  naming  his  cross 
streets,  numbered  them." 

The  North  attributed  this  remarkable  contrast  to  the  defect  in 
Southern  labor.  "  Not  so,"  said  the  Southern  politicians  ; 
"  we  buy  dear  and  sell  cheap — the  protective  tariff  is  the 
cause  of  our  calamities  and  our  decay."  The  slaveiy  question 
was  not  yet  agitated,  but  even  in  these  exciting  times  we  can 
scarcely  comprehend  the  political  animosity  and  violence  that 
characterized  the  administration  of  General  Jackson.  The 
speeches,  the  caricatures,  and  burlesques  of  that  day  exhibit 
the  mutual  antipathy  between  the  North  and  the  South  in  the 
strongest  light. 

A  debt  of  one  hundred  and  thirty  millions  of  dollars  and  a 
great  number  of  small  manufactories  were  among  the  results 
of  the  war  of  1812.  To  provide  for  this  debt  a  larger  revenue 
was  required,  and  the  manufacturing  interest  asked  for  some 
part  of  that  complete  protection  which  the  war  had  given  it. 
The  protectionists  triumphed  in  1816,  and  it  is  not  a  little  sin- 
gular that  the  most  active  and  zealous  among  them  was  John 


4  NULLIFICATION   IN    1832-'33. 

C.  Calhouri;  then  a  member  of  the  House  of  Representatives. 
"  The  country  in  Europe."  said  he,  referring  to  Poland.  '•  hav- 
ing the  most  skillful  workmen,  is  broken  up.  It  is  to  us,  if 
wisely  used,  more  valuable  than  the  repeal  of  the  edict  of 
Nantes  was  to  England."  Even  Mr.  Clay  admitted  that  Mr. 
Calhoun  had  surpassed  him  in  earnestness  for  the  cause  of 
protection.  The  principle  was  carried  still  farther  in  the 
tariff  bills  of  1820,  1824,  and  1828.  In  1824.  however,  the 
South  began  to  contend  that  the  tariff  was  mainly  advantage- 
ous to  Northern  interests.  The  murmurs  of  discontent  grew, 
in  1828.  into  general  and  violent  opposition.  Nullification 
loomed  up  indistinctly  in  the  Southern  sky. 

In  1831  the  public  debt  had  been  so  reduced  that  but  three 
years  more  would  be  required  to  pay  it  off  entirely.  In  view 
of  this,  the  people  of  the  South  demanded  that  protection,  instead 
of  being  retained  as  a  principle,  should  be  made  simply  inci- 
dental, and  so  graduated  that  the  amount  of  duties  derived 
from  it  should  about  equal  the  expenditures  of  the  government. 
Such  a  measure  would  have  reduced  the  revenue  between 
twelve  and  thirteen  million  dollars,  whereas,  in  the  session  of 
183  l-'32.  after  an  exciting  debate  of  several  months'  duration, 
they  succeeded  in  passing  a  bill  diminishing  the  revenue  only 
about  $3.000.000. 

Meanwhile,  in  the  spring  of  1831.  had  been  published  the 
hostile  correspondence  between  the  President  and  Mr.  Cal- 
houn. growing  out  of  the  fact  that  the  latter  had  proposed,  in 
a  cabinet  council,  the  arrest  or  punishment  of  General  Jack- 
son for  alleged  misconduct  in  regard  to  the  Seminole  war.  A 
few  months  later,  also,  Mr.  Calhoun  had  continued  the  strife 
between  the  two  great  leaders,  by  publishing  in  the  Pendleton 
Messenger,  of  South  Carolina,  his  first  essay  on  Nullification. 
He  took  the  ground  that  Nullification  is  the  natural,  proper, 
and  peaceful  remedy  for  an  intolerable  grievance  inflicted  by 
Congress  upon  a  State  or  upon  a  section;  and.  seeming  to  forget 
his  advocacy  of  protection  in  1816.  maintained  that  the  tariff  of 
1828  would  be  such  a  grievance,  unless  rectified  during  the  next 
session  of  Congress.  Mr.  Calhoun  was  the  leading  spirit  of  the 
South  Carolinians.  What  could  have  more  inflamed  their  dis- 
content than  this  unsatisfactory  tariff  bill  of  June,  1831  ? 


NULLIFICATION    IN    1832-'33.  5 

A  month  after  the  adjournment  of  Congress,  the  Vice-Presi- 
dent  returned  to  South  Carolina,  and  the  Legislature  of  that 
State,  early  in  the  autumn,  passed  an  act  calling  a  convention 
of  her  citizens  to  consider  the  late  act  of  Congress,  and  suggest 
the  course  to  be  pursued  in  relation  to  it.  The  Convention, 
consisting  of  one  hundred  members,  and  including  representa- 
tives of  nearly  all  the  great  families  of  the  State,  assembled 
at  Columbia  on  the  19th  of  November.  The  result  of  this 
meeting  was  the  celebrated  ORDINANCE,  signed  by  every  mem- 
ber, and  decreeing  that  the  tariff  law  of  1828,  and  the  amend- 
ment to  the  same  of  1832.  were  "null  and  void;"  that  no 
duties  enjoined  by  it  should  be  paid  in  South  Carolina  after 
the  1st  of  February,  1833  ;  that  in  no  case  involving  the  valid- 
ity of  the  expected  nullifying  act  of  the  State  Legislature, 
should  an  appeal  to  the  Supreme  Court  of  the  United  States 
be  permitted  :  that  every  office-holder  and  every  juror  in  the 
State  should  be  required  to  obey  the  Ordinance  and  the  con- 
sequent acts  of  the  Legislature  ;  and,  finally,  that  in  case  the 
general  government  should  in  any  way  undertake  to  enforce 
the  tariff  law,  the  citizens  of  South  Carolina  would  hold 
themselves  absolved  from  all  further  allegiance  to  it.  and 
would  forthwith  proceed  to  organize  a  separate  government. 

Robert  Y.  Hayne.  a  member  of  the  Convention,  and  also  of 
the  Senate  of  the  United  States,  was  elected  governor  of  the 
State,  and  its  citizens  entered  into  the  theory  of  nullification 
with  remarkable  unanimity  and  enthusiasm.  The  new  Gov- 
ernor entirely  indorsed  in  his  message,  early  in  December,  the 
acts  of  the  Convention.  "I  recognize,"  said  he.  "  no  alle- 
giance as  paramount  to  that  which  the  citizens  of  South  Caro- 
lina owe  to  the  State  of  their  birth  or  their  adoption.  I  here 
publicly  declare,  and  wish  it  to  be  distinctly  understood,  that 
I  shall  hold  myself  bound  by  the  highest  of  all  obligations  to 
carry  into  full  effect  not  only  the  ordinance  of  the  Convention, 
but  every  act  of  the  Legislature,  and  every  judgment  of  our 
own  courts,  the  enforcement  of  which  may  devolve  on  the  ex- 
ecutive. *  *  *  If  the  sacred  soil  of  Carolina  should  be  pol- 
luted by  the  footsteps  of  an  invader,  or  be  stained  by  the 
blood  of  her  citizens  shed  in  her  defense,  I  trust  in  Almighty 
God  that  no  son  of  hers,  native  or  adopted,  who  has  been  nour- 


6  NULLIFICATION    IN    1832~'33. 

ished  at  her  bosom,  or  been  cherished  by  her  bounty,  will  be 
lound  raising  a  parricidal  arm  against  our  common  mother. 
*  *  *  South  Carolina  can  not  be  drawn  down  from  the 
proud  eminence  on  which  she  has  placed  herself,  except  by  the 
hands  of  her  own  children." 

The  Legislature  immediately  passed  the  acts  requisite  for 
carrying  the  Ordinance  into  practical  effect.  "  The  State." 
says  Mr.  Parton.  "  resounded  with  the  noise  of  warlike  prepara- 
tion. Blue  cockades,  with  a  palmetto  button  in  the  center,  ap- 
peared upon  thousands  of  hats,  bonnets,  and  bosoms.  Medals 
were  struck,  ere  long,  bearing  this  inscription  :  '  John  C.  Cal- 
houn.  First  President  of  the  Southern  Confederacy.' "  No 
less  a  person  than  the  Vice-President  himself  was  chosen  to 
fill  the  vacancy  in  the  United  States  Senate,  created  by  the 
election  of  Mr.  Hayne  to  the  governorship.  Mr.  Calhoun 
accepted  the  seat,  and  set  out  for  Washington  early  in  De- 
cember. 

The  President  of  the  United  States  was  General  Andrew 
Jackson,  who  in  his  inaugural  oath  had  sworn  "to  take  care 
that  the  laws  of  the  Union  were  faithfully  executed."  He  saw 
the  rising  storm,  and  made  his  preparations  accordinsly.  On 
the  arrival  of  the  news  at  Washington  that  the  nullifiers  were 
about  to  hold  a  State  Convention,  he  sent  secret  orders  to  the 
collector  of  the  port  of  Charleston  to  resort  to  all  legal  means 
to  enforce  the  revenue  laws,  in  case  of  their  violation  by  the 
citizens  of  South  Carolina,  and  for.  that  purpose,  if  necessary, 
employ  the  revenue  cutters  within  his  district.  General  Scott 
was  also  quietly  ordered  to  Charleston  for  the  purpose  "  of 
superintending  the  safety  of  the  ports  of  the  United  States  in 
that  vicinity." 

The  President  was  terribly  in  earnest.  "  Dale,"  said  he  to 
'•  Big  Sam."  who  happened  to  be  in  Washington  when  nullifi- 
cation was  the  all-engrossing  subject,  ;;  they  are  trying  me 
here  ;  you  will  witness  it ;  but,  by  the  God  of  heaven.  I  will 
uphold  the  laws  !"  And  when  his  friend  expressed  the  hope 
that  things  would  go  right,  "They  SHALL  go  right!"  he  ex- 
claimed, passionately,  shivering  his  pipe  upon  the  table. 

The  annual  message  of  1832  gives,  however,  scarcely  an 
intimation  of  the  prevailing  excitement.  The  President  an- 


NULLIFICATION    IN    1832-'33.  7 

nounced  that  during  the  four  years  of  his  administration  the 
public  debt  had  been  diminished  $58.000.000  :  that  the  income 
of  the  year  would  reach  $28.000.000.  and  the  expenditures 
but  $16.500.000.  He  advised  a  revision  of  the  tariff,  so  as  to 
reduce  the  revenue  to  the  necessities  of  the  government,  and 
devoted  but  a  single  paragraph  to  the  troubles  in  South  Caro- 
lina. He  relied  upon  the  peaceful  administration  of  the  laws, 
but  promised  an  immediate  notice  to  Congress  should  an  exi- 
gency arise  rendering  their  execution  impracticable.  Nothing 
could  have  been  more  temperate  and  conciliatory.  This,  how- 
ever, was  the  salient  paragraph  of  the  message 

Meanwhile  General  Jackson  was  preparing  another  remark- 
able document.  The  proceedings  of  the  South  Carolina  Con- 
vention were  communicated  to  him  on  one  of  the  last  days  of 
November.  On  no  other  occasion  did  that  noble  man  rise 
more  completely  above  all  personal  considerations  and  exhibit, 
his  great  qualities  of  soul.  "  He  went  to  his  office  alone." 
says  Mr.  Parton.  "and  began  to  dash  off  page  after  page  of 
the  memorable  Proclamation  which  was  soon  to  electrify  the 
country.  He  wrote  with  that  great  steel  pen  of  his,  and  with 
such  rapidity  that  he  was  obliged  to  scatter  the  written  pages 
all  over  the  table  to  let  them  dry.  A  gentleman  who  came 
in  after  the  President  had  written  fifteen  or  twenty  pages,  ob- 
served that  three  of  them  were  glistening  with  wet  ink  at  the 
same  moment.  The  warmth,  the  glow,  the  passion,  the  elo- 
quence of  that  proclamation  were  produced  then  and  there  by 
the  President's  own  hand." 

These  pages,  with  other  memoranda,  were  then  placed  in 
the  hands  of  Mr.  Livingston,  the  Secretary  of  State,  who  was 
requested  to  draw  up  the  proclamation  in  a  proper  form.  In 
the  course  of  three  or  four  days  it  was  brought  to  the  General 
and  left  for  his  examination.  After  reading  it,  the  President 
remarked  that  Mr.  Livingston  had  not  correctly  understood 
his  notes,  and  that  portions  of  the  draft  must  be  altered.  The 
second  draft  being  satisfactory,  he  ordered  it  to  be  published. 
It  having  been  suggested  to  the  General  to  leave  out  that  por- 
tion to  which  the  State-rights  party  would  certainly  object, 
he  refused,  saying  :  "  These  are  my  views,  and  I  will  not 
change  them,  nor  strike  them  out." 


8  NULLIFICATION    IX    1832-'33. 

As  Mr.  Parton  justly  remarks,  the  word  proclamation  does 
not  describe  this  remarkable  paper.  "  It  reads  more  like  the 
last  appeal  of  a  sorrowing  but  resolute  father  to  wayward, 
misguided  sons.  Argument,  warning,  and  entreaty  were 
blended  in  its  composition.  It  began  by  calmly  refuting,  one 
by  one,  the  leading  positions  of  the  nullifiers.  The  right  to 
annul  and  the  right  to  secede^  as  claimed  by  them,  were  shown 
to  be  incompatible  with  the  fundamental  idea  and  main  ob- 
ject of  the  Constitution,  which  was  '  to  form  a  more  perfect 
Union.'  » 

Of  the  Federal  Constitution,  the  President  says :  "  We  have 
hitherto  relied  on  it  as  the  perpetual  bond  of  our  union.  We 
have  received  it  as  the  work  of  the  assembled  wisdom  of  the 
nation.  We  have  trusted  to  it  as  to  the  sheet-anchor  of  our 
safety  in  the  stormy  times  of  conflict  with  a  foreign  or  domes- 
tic foe.  We  have  looked  to  it  with  sacred  awe,  as  the  palla- 
dium of  our  liberties,  and,  with  all  the  solemnities  of  religion, 
have  pledged  to  each  other  our  lives  and  fortunes  here,  and 
our  hopes  of  happiness  hereafter,  in  its  defense  and  support. 
Were  we  mistaken,  my  countrymen,  in  attaching  this  import- 
ance to  the  Constitution  of  our  country  ?  Was  our  devotion 
paid  to  the  wretched,  inefficient,  clumsy  contrivance  which 
this  new  doctrine  would  make  it  ?  Did  we  pledge  ourselves 
to  the  support  of  an  airy  nothing — a  bubble  that  must  be 
blown  away  by  the  first  breath  of  disaffection?  Was  this 
self-destroying,  visionary  theory  the  work  of  the  profound 
statesmen,  the  exalted  patriots,  to  whom  the  task  of  consti- 
tutional reform  was  intrusted  ?  Did  the  name  of  Washington 
sanction,  did  the  States  deliberately  ratify,  such  an  anomaly 
in  the  history  of  fundamental  legislation  ?  No.  We  were  not 
mistaken  !  The  letter  of  this  great  instrument  is  free  from 
this  radical  fault ;  its  language  directly  contradicts  the  impu- 
tation ;  its  spirit — its  evident  intent,  contradicts  it." 

Having  denied  the  right  of  secession,  he  inquires,  "  How  can 
that  State  be  said  to  be  sovereign  and  independent  whose 
citizens  owe  obedience  to  laws  not  made  by  it,  and  whose 
magistrates  are  sworn  to  disregard  these  laws  when  they  come 
in  conflict  with  those  passed  by  another  ?"*###* 
•  "  Fellow-citizens  of  my  native  State  ! — let  me  not  only  ad- 


NULLIFICATION   IN    1832-'33.  9 

monish  you,  as  the  first  magistrate  of  our  common  country, 
not  to  incur  the  penalty  of  its  laws,  but  use  the  influence  that 
a  father  would  over  his  children  whom  he  saw  rushing  to  a 
certain  ruin.  In  that  paternal  language,  with  that  paternal 
feeling,  let  me  tell  you,  my  countrymen,  that  you  are  deluded  by 
men  who  are  either  deceived  themselves  or  wish  to  deceive  you. 

#•##*### 
Contemplate  the  condition  of  that  country  of  which  you  still 
form  an  important  part :  consider  its  government  uniting  in 
one  bond  of  common  interest  and  general  protection  so  many 
different  States — giving  to  all  their  inhabitants  the  proud  title 
of  AMERICAN  CITIZEN — protecting  their  commerce — securing 
their  literature  and  arts — facilitating  their  intercommunication 
— defending  their  frontiers — and  making  their  name  respected 
in  the  remotest  parts  of  the  earth  !  Consider  the  extent  of  its 
territory,  its  increasing  and  happy  population,  its  advance  in 
arts,  which  render  life  agreeable,  and  the  sciences  which  ele- 
vate the  mind  !  See  education  spreading  the  lights  of  religion, 
morality,  and  general  information  into  every  cottage  in  this 
wide  extent  of  our  Territories  and  States  !  Behold  it  as  the 
asylum  where  the  wretched  and  the  oppressed  find  a  refuge 
and  support  !  Look  on  this  picture  of  happiness  and  honor, 
and  say  WE,  TOO,  ARE  CITIZENS  OF  AMERICA — Carolina  is  one 
of  these  proud  States  her  arms  have  defended — her  best  blood 
has  cemented  this  happy  Union  !  And  then  add,  if  you  can, 
without  horror  and  remorse,  This  happy  Union  we  will  dissolve 
— this  picture  of  peace  and  prosperity  we  will  deface — this  free 
intercourse  we  will  interrupt — these  fertile  fields  we  will 
deluge  with  blood — the  protection  of  that  glorious  flag  we 
renounce — the  very  name  of  Americans  we  discard.  And  for 
what,  mistaken  men  !  for  what  do  you  throw  away  these 
inestimable  blessings — for  what  would  you  exchange  your 
share  in  the  advantages  and  honor  of  the  Union  ?  For  the 
dream  of  a  separate  independence — a  dream  interrupted  by 
bloody  conflicts  with  your  neighbors,  and  a  vile  dependence  on 
a  foreign  power." 

The  proclamation  was  received  at  the  North  with  almost 
unanimous  enthusiasm.  Union  meetings  were  held  in  most  of 
the  States.  The  South  Carolinians  received  it  with  equal 


10  NULLIFICATION   IN    1832-'33, 

unanimity,  but  in  a  totally  opposite  spirit.  The  Legislature 
of  that  State  being  still  in  session,  requested  the  Governor  to 
issue  a  counter  proclamation,  which  proved  to  be  a  most 
pugnacious  document.  He  pronounced  the  doctrines  of  the 
President's  proclamation  pernicious,  false,  tending  to  uproot  the 
very  foundation  of  our  political  system,  and  contemplating 
a  great  consolidated  empire,  one  and  indivisible,  the  worst  of 
all  despotisms.  Declaring  that  South  Carolina  would  main- 
tain her  sovereignty  or  be  buried  beneath  its  ruins,  he  solemnly 
warned  his  fellow-citizens  against  all  attempts  to  seduce  them 
from  their  allegiance  to  the  State.  He  charged  them  to  be 
faithful  to  their  duty  as  citizens,  and  earnestly  exhorted  them 
to  disregard  those  "vain  menaces"  put  forth  by  the  President. 

In  a  second  message  to  Congress,  promised  in  that  which 
opened  the  session,  should  circumstances  require  it,  President 
Jackson  asked  for  an  increase  of  powers  to  meet  the  exigency. 
This  communication  was  dated  January  16th.  1833.  He  began 
by  stating  that  he  had  received  officially  from  the  Governor  of 
South  Carolina  a  copy  of  the  nullifying  ordinance  of  the  Con- 
vention at  Columbia.  He  gave  a  brief  review  of  the  threat- 
ening proceedings  in  South  Carolina,  and  of  the  measures 
adopted  by  the  administration.  Wishing  it  to  be  understood 
that  the  government  were  disposed  to  remove  all  just  cause  of 
complaint,  he  declared  that  the  supremacy  of  the  laws  would, 
nevertheless,  be  maintained.  The  President  knew  that  there 
was  great  discontent  in  the  South,  from  a  "  conviction  that 
the  .general  government  was  working  disadvantageously  to  that 
part  of  the  Union  in  the  vital  points  of  the  levy  and  the  expendi- 
ture of  the  federal  revenue;  and  that  it  was  upon  this  feeling 
that  politicians  operated  to  produce  disaffection  to  the  Union." 

In  one  paragraph  the  tables  were  turned  upon  the  Governor 
of  South  Carolina  in  a  way  that  must  have  been  appreciated 
at  the  time.  It  was  in  reference  to  the  "  oppression"  of  the 
tariff,  so  much  complained  of  by  the  South  Carolinians. 
•'  That  the  revenue  system  hitherto  pursued,"  said  the  Presi- 
dent, ::  has  resulted  in  no  such  oppression  upon  South  Caro- 
lina, needs  no  other  proof  than  the  solemn  and  official  decla- 
ration of  the  late  chief  magistrate  of  that  State,  in  his  address 
to  the  Legislature.  In  that  he  says,  that  'the  occurrences  of 


NULLIFICATION  IN    1832-'33.  11 

the  past  year,  in  connection  with  our  domestic  concerns,  are  to 
be  reviewed  with  a  sentiment  of  fervent  gratitude  to  the  Great 
Disposer  of  human  events ;  that  tributes  of  grateful  acknowl- 
edgment are  due  for  the  various  and  multiplied  blessings  He 
has  been  pleased  to  bestow  on  our  people  :  that  abundant 
harvests,  in  every  quarter  of  the  State,  have  crowned  the  exer- 
tions of  agricultural  labor :  that  health,  almost  beyond  former 
precedent,,  has  blessed  our  homes  ;  and  that  there  is  not  less  rea- 
son for  thankfulness  in  surveying  our  social  condition}  " 

A  bill  conferring  additional  powers  upon  the  President,  to 
enable  him  to  execute  the  laws  in  South  Carolina,  was 
promptly  reported,  but  did  not  pass  until  late  in  February.  It 
was  assailed  by  several  members  as  violent,  unconstitutional, 
and  tending  to  civil  war.  Mr.  Webster  rebuked  all  the  vitu- 
peration heaped  upon  this  measure  (known  as  the  Force  bill), 
and  gave  it  the  support  of  his  great  talents.  Though  politi- 
cally opposed  to  the  President,  and  accused  by  his  enemies  of 
subserviency  for  the  sake  of  future  favors,  he  defended  with 
transcendent  ability  the  cause  of  the  constitution  and  the 
country. 

Mr.  Calhoun  had  reached  Washington  two  weeks  before 
the  communication  of  the  President's  second  message  to  Con- 
gress. What  would  the  great  Nullifier  do  ?  Would  he  swear 
to  support  the  Constitution  of  the  United  States  ?  ':  Says  one 
of  his  biographers:  "The  floors  of  the  Senate  Chamber  and 
the  galleries  were  thronged  with  spectators.  They  saw  him 
take  the  oath  with  a  solemnity  and  dignity  appropriate  to  the 
occasion,  and  then  calmly  seat  himself  on  the  right  of  the 
chair,  among  his  old  political  friends,  nearly  all  of  whom 
were  now  arrayed  against  him."  Mr.  Calhoun  heard  the 
President's  message  read  in  the  Senate  Chamber,  and.  after  its 
conclusion,  rose  to  vindicate  himself  and  his  State.  Declaring 
himself  still  devoted  to  the  Union,  he  said  that  if  the  govern- 
ment were  restored  to  the  principles  of  1798,  he  would  be  the 
last  man  in  the  country  to  question  its  authority.  It  was  not 
until  the  15th  of  February  that  he  introduced  the  famous 
resolutions  termed  by  him,  (!  Resolutions  on  the  Powers  of  the 
Government."  and  clearly  involving  the  doctrine  of  nullifica- 
tion. These  he  defended  with  all  of  his  remarkable  force  and 


12  NULLIFICATION   IN    1832-'33. 

subtlety.  Mr.  Webster  replied  on  the  following  day,  in  a 
speech  second  only  in  power  and  brilliancy  to  his  reply  to 
Hayne.  three  years  previous.  The  great  constitutional  ex- 
pounder condensed  into  four  brief  and  pointed  propositions 
hi.s  opinions  upon  the  nature  of  the  compact  uniting  the  dif- 
ferent States  of  the  Union  : 

"  1.  That  the  Constitution  of  the  United  States  is  not  a 
league,  confederacy,  or  compact  between  the  people  of  the 
several  States  in  their  sovereign  capacities  :  but  a  government 
proper,  founded  on  the  adoption  of  the  people,  and  creating 
direct  relations  between  itself  and  individuals. 

"  2.  That  no  State  authority  has  power  to  dissolve  these 
relations;  that  nothing  can  dissolve  them  but  revolution;  and 
that,  consequently,  there  can  be  no  such  thing  as  secession 
without  revolution. 

';  3.  That  there  is  a  supreme  law,  consisting  of  the  Con- 
stitution of  the  United  States,  and  acts  of  Congress  passed  in 
pursuance  of  it,  and  treaties:  and  that,  in  cases  not  capable 
of  assuming  the  character  of  a  suit  in  law  or  equity,  Con- 
gress must  judge  of,  and  finally  interpret,  this  supreme  law  so 
often  as  it  has  occasion  to  pass  acts  of  legislation,  and  in  cases 
capable  of  assuming,  and  actually  assuming,  the  character  of 
a  suit,  the  Supreme  Court  of  the  United  States  is  the  final 
interpreter. 

''•  4.  That  an  attempt  by  a  State  to  abrogate,  annul,  or 
nullify  an  act  of  Congress,  or  to  arrest  it.s  operation  within  her 
limits,  on  the  ground  that,  in  her  opinion,  such  law  is  uncon- 
stitutional, is  a  direct  usurpation  on  the  just  powers  of  the 
general  government,  and  on  the  equal  rights  of  other  States; 
a  plain  violation  of  the  Constitution,  and  a  proceeding  essen- 
tially revolutionary  in  its  character  and  tendency." 

In  conclusion,  he  said:  "Be  assured,  sir.  be  assured,  that 
among  the  political  sentiments  of  this  people,  the  love  of  union 
is  still  uppermost.  They  will  stand  fast  by  the  Constitution, 
and  by  those  who  defend  it.  I  rely  on  no  temporary  expedi- 
ents, on  no  political  combination  ;  but  I  rely  on  the  true 
American  feeling,  the  genuine  patriotism  of  the  people,  and 
the  imperative  decision  of  the  public  voice.  Disorder  and  con- 
fusion, indeed,  may  arise ;  scenes  of  commotion  and  contest 


NULLIFICATION    IN    1832-'33.  13 

are  threatened,  and  perhaps  may  come.  With  my  whole 
heart.  I  pray  for  the  continuance  of  the  domestic  peace  and 
quiet  of  the  country.  I  desire,  most  ardently,  the  restoration 
of  affection  and  harmony  to  all  its  parts.  I  desire  that  every 
citizen  of  the  whole  country  may  look  to  this  government  with 
no  other  sentiments  than  those  of  grateful  respect  and  attach- 
ment. But  I  can  not  yield  even  to  kind  feelings  the  cause  of 
the*  Constitution,  the  true  glory  of  the  country,  and  the  great 
trust  which  we  hold  in  our  hands  for  succeeding  ages.  If  the 
Constitution  can  not  be  maintained  without  meeting  these 
scenes  of  commotion  and  contest,  however  unwelcome,  they 
must  come.  We  can  not,  we  must  not,  we  dare  not.  omit  to 
do  that  which,  in  our  judgment,  the  safety  of  the  Union  re- 
quires. Not  regardless  of  consequences,  we  must  yet  meet 
consequences;  seeing  the  hazards  which  surround  the  discharge 
of  public  duty,  it  must  yet  be  discharged.  For  myself,  sir,  I 
shun  no  responsibility  justly  devolving  on  me,  here  or  else- 
where, in  attempting  to  maintain  the  cause.  I  am  bound  to  it 
by  indissoluble  ties  of  affection  and  duty,  and  I  shall  cheerfully 
partake  in  its  fortunes  and  its  fate.  I  am  ready  to  perform  my 
own  appropriate  part,  whenever  and  wherever  the  occasion 
may  call  on  me,  and  to  take  my  chance  among  those  upon 
whom  blows  may  fall  first  and  fall  thickest.  I  shall  exert 
every  faculty  I  possess  in  aiding  to  prevent  the  Constitution 
from  being  nullified,  destroyed,  or  impaired  •  and  even  should 
I  see  it  fall,  I  will  still,  with  a  voice  feeble,  perhaps,  but 
earnest  as  ever  issued  from  human  lips,  and  with  fidelity  and 
zeal  which  nothing  shall  extinguish,  call  on  the  PEOPLE  to 
come  to  its  rescue." 

What  in  the  mean  time  had  been  the  course  of  events  in 
South  Carolina  ?  The  military  posts  in  that  State  had  been 
filled  with  Um'ted  States  troops,  and  a  naval  force  anchored 
off  Charleston.  The  laws  had  been  strictly  enforced,  though 
care  was  taken  to  avoid,  if  possible,  a  conflict  with  the  State 
authorities.  The  Carolinians  also  had  continued  their  military 
preparations.  Palmetto  flags  and  cockades  were  employed  to 
kindle  the  enthusiasm  of  the  people.  '•  The  first  of  February, 
the  dreaded  day  which  was  to  be  the  first  of  a  fratricidal  war, 
had  gone  by,"  says  Mr.  Parton,  t;  and  yet  no  hostile  and  no 


14  NULLIFICATION    IN    1832-'33. 

nullifying  act  had  been  done  in  South  Carolina.  How  was 
this  ?  Did  those  warlike  words  mean  nothing  ?  Was  South 
Carolina  repentant?  It  is  asserted  by  the  old  Jacksonians 
that  one  citizen  of  South  Carolina  was  exceedingly  frightened 
as  the  first  of  February  drew  near,  namely,  John  C.  Calhoun. 
The  President  was  resolved,  and  avowed  his  resolve  that  the 
hour  which  brought  the  news  of  one  act  of  violence  on  the 
part  of  the  nullifiers.  should  find  Mr.  Calhoun  a  prisoner  of 
State  upon  a  charge  of  high  treason.*  And  not  Calhoun  only, 
but  every  member  of  Congress  from  South  Carolina  who  had 
taken  part  in  the  proceedings  which  had  caused  the  conflict 
between  South  Carolina  and  the  General  Government. 
Whether  the  intention  of  the  President  had  any  effect  upon  the 
cause  of  events,  we  can  not  know.  It  came  to  pass,  however, 
that  a  few  days  before  the  first  of  February,  a  meeting  of  the 
leading  nullifiers  was  held  in  Charleston,  who  passed  resolu- 
tions to  this  effect :  that,  inasmuch  as  measures  were  then 
pending  in  Congress  which  contemplated  the  reduction  of  duties 
demanded  by  South  Carolina,  the  nullification  of  the  existing 
revenue  laws  should  be  postponed  until  after  the  adjournment 
of  Congress  ;  when  the  Convention  would  re-assemble  and  take 
into  consideration  whatever  revenue  measures  may  have  been 
passed  by  Congress. >: 

The  measures  here  alluded  to  as  pending  in  Congress,  were 
a  bill  reported  in  the  House  by  Mr.  Gulian  C.  Verplank.  on 
the  28th  of  December.  In  conformity  with  the  President's 
recommendation  in  his  message,  it  was  calculated  to  reduce 
the  annual  revenue  thirteen  millions  of  dollars.  Its  effect 
would  be  to  carry  back  the  protective  system  to  nearly  the 
standard  of  1816.  Though  not  sufficient  for  the  capitalists 
who,  under  the  stimulus  of  legislative  protection,  had  invested 
their  means  in  the  manufacturing  interest,  it  was  deemed  suf- 
ficient for  those  who  possessed  the  skill  and  care  to  conduct 

their  enterprises  with  economy.     To  the  government  it  would 

t 

*  In  his  last  sickness,  General  Jackson  declarcxl,  that,  in  reflecting  upon 
his  administration,  he  chiefly  regretted  that  he  had  not  had  John  C.  Calhoun 
executed  for  treason.  "  My  country,"  said  he,  "  would  have  sustained  me  in 
the  act,  and  his  fate  would  have  been  a  warning  to  traitors  in  all  time  to 
come." 


NULLIFICATION   IX    1832-'33.  15 

give  all  the  revenue  needed.  To  the  great  opponents  of  the 
tariff  it  was  bound  to  be  satisfactory.  It  was  just  what  the 
South  clamored  for.  Why,  then,  did  not  the  Verplank  bill 
pass  ?  Why  did  it  linger  in  the  House  under  interminable 
debates  on  systems  and  theories  ?  Are  the  advocates  of  polit- 
ical measures  in  Congress  always  honest  in  their  professions  ? 

;'  The  25th  of  February  had  arrived."  says  Mr.  Benton, 
'•  and  found  the  bill  still  afloat  upon  the  wordy  sea  of  stormy 
debate,  when,  all  of  a  sudden,  it  was  arrested,  knocked  over, 
run  under,  and  merged  and  lost  in  a  new  one.  which  expunged 
the  old  one  and  took  its  place.  It  was  late  in  the  afternoon 
when  Mr.  Letcher,  of  Kentucky,  the  fast  friend  of  Mr.  Clay, 
rose  in  his  place  and  moved  to  strike  out  the  whole  Verplank 
bill — except  the  enacting  clause — and  insert  in  lieu  of  it  a 
bill  offered  in  the  Senate  by  Mr.  Clay,  since  called  the  '  Com- 
promise,' and  which  lingered  at  the  door  of  the  Senate  upon  a 
question  of  leave  for  its  admittance.  This  was  offered  in  the 
House  without  notice,  without  signal,  without  premonitory 
symptoms,  and  just  as  the  members  were  prepared  to  adjourn. 
Some  were  taken  by  surprise,  and  looked  about  in  amazement ; 
but  the  majority  showed  consciousness,  and,  what  was  more, 
readiness  for  action.  The  bill,  which  made  its  first  appearance 
in  the  House  when  members  were  gathering  up  their  overcoats, 
for  a  walk  home  to  their  dinners,  was  passed  before  those  coats 
had  got  on  the  back  ;  and  the  dinner,  which  was  waiting,  had 
but  little  time  to  cool  before  the  astonished  members,  their 
work  done,  were  at  the  table  to  eat  it.  A  bill  without  prece- 
dent in  the  annals  of  our  legislation,  and  pretending  to  the 
sanctity  of  a  compromise,  and  to  settle  great  questions  forever, 
went  through  to  its  consummation  in  the  fragment  of  an  even- 
ing session,  without  the  compliance  with  any  form  which  ex- 
perience and  parliamentary  law  have  devised  for  the  safety  of 
legislation." 

The  secret  history  of  this  "  Compromise."  in  the  remarkable 
narrative  by  Colonel  Benton.  furnishes  one  of  the  most  inter- 
esting chapters  of  political  reading.  It  was  effected  by  a 
coalition  between  Mr.  Clay  and  Mr.  Calhoun.  who  were  an- 
tagonistic leaders  in  opposite  political  systems,  had  long  been 
rivals  for  the  Presidency,  and  were  not  at  the  time  on  speak- 


16  NULLIFICATION   IN    1832-33. 

ing  terms  with  each  other.  Could  such  a  coalition  be  other 
than  a  hollow  truce?  A  rupture,  a  few  years  afterward,  in 
the  open  Senate,  gave  the  key  to  the  secret  motives  which  led 
to  the  Compromise.  Mr.  Calhoun  declared  that  he  had  Mr. 
Clay  down — had  him  on  his  back — was  his  master.  Mr.  Clay 
retorted :  ';  He  my  master  !  I  would  not  own  him  for  the 
meanest  of  my  slaves."  Mr.  Calhoun  claimed  a  controlling 
influence  for  the  military  attitude  of  South  Carolina  and  its 
intimidating  effect  upon  the  federal  government.  Mr.  Clay 
ridiculed  this  idea  of  intimidation,  and  said  the  little  boys 
that  muster  in  the  streets  with  their  tiny  wooden  swords  had 
as  well  pretend  to  terrify  the  grand  army  of  Bonaparte  ! 

Mr.  Letcher.  a  representative  from  Kentucky,  was.  accord- 
ing to  Mr.  Benton.  the  first  to  conceive  an  idea  of  some  com- 
promise to  release  South  Carolina  from  her  position.  He 
communicated  it  to  Mr.  Clay,  who  received  the  proposition  at 
first  coolly,  but  finally  drew  up  the  bill,  and  sent  it  to  Mr. 
Calhoun.  An  awkward  interview  between  them  ended  with- 
out a  favorable  result. 

Mr.  Clay  brought  his  bill  forward  in  the  Senate  on  the  12th 
of  February.  It  proposed  a  gradual,  instead  of  a  sudden,  re- 
duction of  duties,  the  chief  object  of  the  Verplank  bill  being 
to  conciliate  the  nullifiers.  Mr.  Clay:s  measure  was.  however, 
paralyzed  by  the  opposition  of  the  manufacturers.  While  it 
was  lingering  in  the  Senate  without  any  apparent  chance  of 
passing,  Mr.  Clayton,  of  Delaware,  urged  Mr.  Clay  to  make 
a  new  move  with  his  bill  in  a  less  objectionable  form.  At  a 
meeting  of  the  manufacturers,  it  was  resolved  to  pass  it  with 
certain  proposed  amendments,  provided  the  Southern  Senators, 
including  the  nullifiers,  should  vote  for  the  same.  But  these 
amendments  were  voted  down  by  the  committee  to  whom  the 
bill  had  been  referred,  and  again  the  measure  seemed  to  be 
Jost. 

Mr.  Clayton,  however,  did  not  give  up,  but  notified  Mr.  Clay 
and  Mr.  Calhoun  that  if  the  amendments  were  not  adopted  in 
the  Senate,  he  would  himself  move  to  lay  the  bill  on  the  table, 
his  object  being  to  bind  both  of  the  leaders.  Mr.  Clay  offered 
the  amendments,  which  were  now  adopted,  one  by  one.  until 
it  came  to  the  measure  of  home  valuation,  which  Mr.  Calhoun 


NULLIFICATION   IN    1832-'33.  17 

and  his  friends  declared  to  be  unconstitutional,  and  an  insu- 
perable obstacle  to  their  votes.  It  was  then  late  on  the  last 
day  but  one  of  the  session,  Mr.  Clayton  executed  his  threat, 
and  moved  to  lay  the  bill  upon  the  table.  In  this  extremity 
the  Calhoun  wing  retired  to  the  colonnade  behind  the  Vice- 
President's  chair,  and  held  a  brief  consultation.  An  adjourn- 
ment was  carried,  and  the  next  day  they  gave  their  adhesion 
to  the  amended  bill.  Even  Mr.  Calhoun  was  not  spared  the 
humiliation  of  voting  for  a  measure  which,  six  months  before, 
both  himself  and  Mr.  Clay  would  have  deemed  sufficient  to 
break  up  the  Union. 

Mr.  Calhoun  journeyed  homeward  immediately  after  the 
adjournment  of  Congress.  41  Traveling  night  and  day  by  the 
most  rapid  public  conveyances,  he  succeeded  in  reaching  Co- 
lumbia in  time  to  meet  the  Convention  before  they  had  taken 
any  additional  steps.  Some  of  the  more  fiery  and  ardent  mem- 
bers were  disposed  to  complain  of  the  Compromise  act.  as  be- 
ing only  a  half-way  temporizing  measure  •  but  when  his  ex- 
planations were  made,  all  felt  satisfied,  and  the  Convention 
cordially  approved  of  his  course.  The  Nullification  Ordinance 
was  repealed,  arid  the  two  parties  in  the  State  abandoned  their 
organizations,  and  agreed  to  forget  all  their  past  differences."* 

The  act  of  pacification  was  vigorously  denounced  by  several 
members  of  the  Senate,  including  Mr.  Webster.  i:  To  call  it 
a  compromise."  says  Mr.  Benton.  '•  was  to  make  sport  of  lan- 
guage, to  burlesque  misfortune,  to  turn  force  into  stipulation, 
and  to  confound  fraud  and  violence  with  concession  and  con- 
tract. It  was  like  calling  the  rape  of  the  Romans  upon  the 
Sabine  women,  a  marriage." 

The  masses  were  alarmed  at  the  cry  of  civil  war.  Mr. 
Calboun's  friends  saw  for  hirn  a  release  from  his  perilous 
position.  Timid  members  found  relief  in  a  middle  course,  and 
General  Jackson  felt  a  positive  relief  in  being  spared  the 
necessity  of  enforcing  the  laws  by  the  sword  and  criminal 
prosecutions. 

'•'  Certainly,"  says  Mr.  Benton,  "  it  was  absolutely  incom- 
prehensible that  this  doctrine  of  Nullification  and  Secession, 

*  Jenkins'  "  Calhoun." 


18  NULLIFICATION   IN    1832-'33. 

prefigured  in  the  Roman  secession  to  the  sacred  Mount  and 
the  Jewish  disruption  of  the  twelve  tribes,  should  be  thus  en- 
forced and  impressed  for  that  cause  of  the  tariff  alone."  Mr. 
Calhoun  afterward  hinted  at  two  other  reasons:  first,  that 
every  Southern  man,  true  to  the  interests  of  his  section,  would 
be  forever  excluded  from  the  honors  and  emoluments  of  the 
government ;  and,  secondly,  to  the  contest  between  the  North 
and  the  Soulh — '•  a  contest  between  power  and  liberty — in 
which  the  weaker  section,  with  its  peculiar  labor,  productions, 
and  situation,  has  at  stake  all  that  is  dear  to  freemen."  1;  It 
was  evident."  also  adds  Mr.  Benton,  "  that  the  protective 
tariff  was  not  the  sole  or  the  main  cause  of  South  Carolina's 
discontent  ;  that  nullification  and  secession  were  to  continue 
though  their  ostensible  cause  ceased  :  that  resistance  was  to 
continue  on  a  new  ground,  upon  the  same  principle,  until  a 
new  and  impassible  point  was  attained." 


GROVE 

CEL 

FAMILY  S_..A__000134364  9 

495  BROADWAY,  NEW  YORK. 


THE  GROVER  &  BAKER  MACHINE 

Is  simple  in  construction,  easily  learned,  and,  with  proper  manage- 
ment, never  gets  out  of  order. 

THE  GROYER  &  BAKER  MACHINE 

Hems,  Fells,  Gathers,  and  Stitches,  and  Fastens  its  own  Seams,  thereby 
saving  time  and  thread. 

THE  GROVER  &  BAKER  MACHINE 

Sews  equally  well  on  all  Fabrics,  from  the  finest  Swiss  Muslin  to  tfa* 
heaviest  cloth  or  leather. 

THE  GROVER  &  BAKER  MACHINE 

Sews  from  original  Spools  without  rewinding,  and  forms  a  SOiim  unsur- 
passed for  beauty,  elasticity,  and  strength. 

THE  GROVER  &  BAKER  STITCH 

Is  the  Double  Lock  Stitch  which  forms  a  seam  that  will  not  rip  even 
if  every  fourth  stitch  is  cut.  It  is  the  only  stitch  that  survives  the 
washing-tub  on  bias  seams. 

THE  GROVER  &  BAKER  MACHINE 

Makes  the  only  seam  formed  by  a  Sewing  Machine,  in  which  each 
stitch  is  independently  locked,  and  without  dependence  upon  the  other 
stitches  for  strength. 

OFFICES    OF    EXHIBITION    AND    SALE. 

495  Broadway,  New  York.  18  Summer-st.,  Boston.  730  Chestnut- 
st.,  Philadelphia.  181  Baltimore-st.,  Baltimore.  68  West  Fourth-st., 
Cincinnati.  124  North  Fourth-st.,  St.  Louis.  115  Lake-st,  Chicago. 
171  Superior-st,  Cleveland. 

SEND  FOR  A  CIRCULAR, 


AYER'S  CATHARTIC  PILLS, 

FOR  THE   CURE  OP 

Costiveness,  Jaundice,  Dyspepsia,  Indigestion,  Dysentery, 

Foul  Stomach,  Erysipelas,  Headache.  Piles,  Rheuma- 

tism, Eruptions  and  Skin  Diseases,  Liver  Com- 

plaint, Dropsy,  Tetter,  Tumors  and  Salt  Rheum, 

Worms,  Gout,  Neuralgia,  as  a  Dinner 

Pill,  and  for  Purifying  the  Blood. 

Arc  you  sick,  feeble,  and  complaining?  Are  you  out  of  order,  with  your  system 
deranged,  And  your  feelings  uncomfortable?  Those  symptoms  are  often  tin-  pre- 
lude to  serious  illness.  Some  tit  of  sickness  is  creeping  upon  you,  and  should  bo 
averted  by  :i  timely  use  of  the  right  remedy.  Take  AVER'S  PILLS,  and  cleanse 
out  the  disordered  humors,  purify  the  blood,  an.  I  let  the.  fluids  move  on  unob- 
structed in  health  aga  n.  They  stimulate  the  functions  of  the  body  into  vigorous 
activity,  purify  tile  >ystem  from  the.  obstructions  which  make  disease.  A  cold  set- 
tles somewhere  in  the.  body,  and  obstructs  its  natur.d  functions.  These,  if  not  re- 
lieved, react  upon  themselves  and  tin-  surrounding  organs,  producing  general 
aggravation,  sutt'eiin;:.  and  dix-ase.  While  in  this  condition,  oppressed  by  the  de- 
rangements, take  AVER'S  PILLS,  and  see  how  directly  they  restore  the  natural 
action  of  the  system,  and  with  it  tlie  buoyant  feeling  of  health  aifuin.  What  is 
true  and  so  apparent  in  this  trivial  and  common  complaint,  is  also  true  in  many 
of  tile  deep-seated  and  dangerous  distempers.  The  s;mie  purgative  effect  expels 
them.  Caused  by  similar  obstructions  and  derangements  of  the  natural  functions 
of  the  bo  ly,  they  are  rapidly,  and  many  of  them  surely,  cured  by  the  same  means. 
Mono  who  know  the  virtues  ol  these  Tills  will  neglect  to  employ  them  when  suf- 
fering from  the  disorders  they  cure. 

Deafness,  Partial  Blindness,  Fits,  Paralysis,  or  Palsy,  St.  Vitus's  Dance, 

Suppression,  and  other  cumplain's  it  would  not  be  supposed  they  could  reaeh, 
have  been  cured  by  the  renovating  action  of  these  Pills  upon  the  whole  system, 
and  the.  resuscitation  they  afford  to  the  general  health.  Their  virtues  penetrate 
to  the  fountains  of  the  blood,  and  thus  elfect  cures  which  could  not  be  believed 
if  they  had  not  been  proven.  All  who  use  them  can  see  they  have  curative  quali- 
ties equaled  by  nothing  which  has  been  known  before,  and  are  astonished  to  find 
a  medicine  of  such  wonderful  power  over  disease,  which  is  harmless  —  perfectly 
harmless,  even  to  infants. 

They  are  not  only  the  best,  hut  they  are  the  CHEAPEST  PILL  thcro  is  sold,  be- 
cause in  them  tile  consumer  gets  the  most  for  his  money. 

Unprincipled  dealers  may  try  to  mire  upon  you  other  Pills  they  may  make  more 
profit  on:  but  do  not  be  misled.  Ask  for  AYER'S  CATHARTIC  PILLS,  and 
take  no  others. 

3?rice  25  cents  per  Box,  or  Five  Boxes  for  §pl. 

From  nix  phyn  iciana  of  di^tinr/uixlieri  (ili/ities  find  the  highest  standing  in  the 
central  city  of  New  York. 

SYRACUSE,  11th  May,  1?54. 

"PR.  AVER:  —  "We  have  given  your  CATHARTIC  PILLS  a  thorough  trial  in  our 
practice,  and  are  well  pleased  with  their  effects.  The  nctive  principle*  of  castor 
oil,  colocynth.  senna,  and  aloes,  of  which  they  are  composed,  make  an  excellent 
combination  of  medicine,  and  well  calculated  for  the  purpose  intended. 

Verv  truly  yours, 

M.  M.  WHITE,  M.D.  A.  B.  SIIIPMAN,  M.I).        II.  K  MOOUF,  M.D. 

J.  F.  TuowuiiiuGK,  M.D.    JAS.  C.  STKWAUT,  M.D.    M.  W.  WILLIAMS,  M.D. 


AYER'S  CHERRY  PECTORAL, 

For  the  rapid  cure  of  Coughs,  Colds,  Influenza,  Hoarseness,  Croup, 
Bronchitis,  Incipient  Consumption,  and  for  the  relief  of  Consump- 
tive Patients,  in  advanced  stages  of  the  disease. 

Prepared  by        DR.  J.  C.  AYER  &  CO.,  Lowell,  Mass. 

Sold  at  Wholesale  and  Rdail  by  all  Dealers  in  Medicine  everywhere. 


